So, Saturday I am going to be driving to meet up with my Mom and cousin.  Second time my Mom has seen me in 11 years and first for my cousin.  Not worried about my cousin because she is very accepting.  With my Mom, at first I was dreading it.  I talked with her a few hours ago.  told her that I do now have facial hair.  Just didn't want to shock her.  And from there the conversation changed.  She asked me some questions and was very respectful.  Asking if I was happy, if I have surgeries still to do, if my neighbors and co-workers treat me ok. And then she said, " You are really starting to grow on me."  For my Mom, that is a big deal.  Yea, it's taken years for her to get to this level of acceptance.  Just thought I would share this for all that might be looking to give up on their parents.   I am an old dude and my parents are now in their 80's.  I did have times I was ready to write them off and had many people told me I should.  I am glad I did not listen.  I am now the primary caregiver for my 87 year old Dad, and we have an awesome relationship.  And now, here is my Mom.

And just to add.  I know it is harder for my Mom because she still lives in the small town I grew up in.  and my Mom has always been very insecure.  More looking to 'What will people think', And what people think is a reflection of her.  That kind of crap.  Little by little.  It's working.

I hope it goes well for you, I'm glad that you found a way to keep trying. Your story is really heartwarming and I think she will get over the 'what will people think' sort of mindset when she finds who you are and that the people around you are respectful. Good luck

That is amazing!  It's gotta be intense seeing two family members you haven't seen in years.  I hope you and your mom have a good visit.  Also, it's very thoughtful of you to share this.  It's nice to hear that even after many years it is possible for a family member to come around.

Hey thanks.  and yea Chris, that's why I posted this.  Just to let people know that you might lose people for a while, but it doesn't have to be forever.  It was 7 years before either of my parents would talk to me.  Or see me.  It can be painful, but it can also be worth it.  I never thought I would have the relationship I now have with my Dad.  And, now, possibly with my Mom....Yea, I am glad I waited them out. 

As hard as I know it must be, I'm glad you never gave up on your mom. Some people can take a millenia to adjust, but they will come to it in thier own time. I'm very very happy for you, and think that this is just completely awesome. I hope your visit is amazing and brings you two closer.

Good for your parents for opening their minds and seeing what is really important - that you are a good, caring, happy person.

And good for you for waiting for them and allowing these relationships to regrow. It's so easy on both sides to just be stubborn and to ignore it all. As painful as that might be - for some it's easier/the only way they can deal with it on their own.

I'm glad things are working out - this does give others hope thank you

So, lunch with my Mom and cousin was great.  My Mom even told me she likes the new me.  Had my cousin take a pic of me and my Mom.  first time we have had our picture taken together in about 15 - 20 years.  Feeling Good!!

Quote from: mowdan6 on June 28, 2014, 01:48:36 PM
So, lunch with my Mom and cousin was great.  My Mom even told me she likes the new me.  Had my cousin take a pic of me and my Mom.  first time we have had our picture taken together in about 15 - 20 years.  Feeling Good!!

That's great! I'm very happy for you and your family.

Quote from: mowdan6 on June 28, 2014, 01:48:36 PM
So, lunch with my Mom and cousin was great.  My Mom even told me she likes the new me.  Had my cousin take a pic of me and my Mom.  first time we have had our picture taken together in about 15 - 20 years.  Feeling Good!!

What's even greater about this is that now the family gets to be happy and everybody gets to share in this, it's too bad we can't clone her so that other guys can have an accepting parent. Starts getting fun when your mom helps you pick a new packer (though not all accepting parents can do this one!).

--Jay