Quote from: Edge on June 25, 2014, 12:24:24 PM
I think the term transsexual fits although that may just be my understanding of the definition. You want to change your body (and what most people refer to when they mean sex) to look more male right? Transitioning sex. If gender is separate from sex (which many people say), then it would make perfect sense to feel your sex should be male and your gender is non-binary. I hope I make sense. Even in my views (it confuses me why brain sex is called gender and the rest of the body's sex is called sex especially since the brain is the most important organ), it makes sense since sex/gender is not as strictly binary as people think it is.
When I was still questioning when my gender, I came to the conclusion that my sex was supposed to be male regardless of what gender I identify as. I later realized my gender was mostly male too though, so I don't know if that helps any. It did lift a huge weight off my shoulders though.
No, that is not what transsexualism as a clinical diagnosis refers to but this:
Diagnosis[edit]
Transsexualism appears in the two major diagnostic manuals used by mental health professionals worldwide, the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM, currently in its fifth edition) and the International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD, currently in its tenth edition). The ICD-10 incorporates transsexualism, dual role transvestism and gender identity disorder of childhood into its gender identity disorder category, and defines transsexualism as "[a] desire to live and be accepted as a member of the opposite sex, usually accompanied by a sense of discomfort with, or inappropriateness of, one's anatomic sex, and a wish to have surgery and hormonal treatment to make one's body as congruent as possible with one's preferred sex."[4] The DSM does not distinguish between gender identity disorder and transsexualism, and defines transvestic fetishism as a separate phenomenon which may co-occur with transsexualism. The DSM diagnosis requires four components:[5]
*A desire or insistence that one is of the opposite biological sex (that is not due to a perceived advantage of being the other sex)
*Evidence of persistent discomfort with, and perceived inappropriateness of the individual's biological sex
*The individual is not intersex (although a diagnosis of GID Not Otherwise Specified is available, which enables intersex people who reject their sex-assignment to access transsexual treatments)
*Evidence of clinically significant distress or impairment in work or social life.
ICD10 also refers to transsexualism as a personality disorder.
What is important to note with transsexualism is that transsexuals desire to live and have a body as the opposite sex that was assigned to them at birth i.e. transsexuals are gender-binary but seek to change from man to woman or woman to man as opposed to man to X or woman to X.
I would for example be considered an transsexual (still awaiting official diagnosis but inbetween my investigators and I, I think there is little doubt that I fit the classification of transsexualism though I abhor to call myself a transsexual for the same reason I abhor calling myself FTM more than for the ease of reference in transgender circles) because I was born female and classified as such, desire to be male and live my life as a male.
Hence transgender is actually a more apt label to refer to when it comes to all those who are non-binary e.g. the OP. They would not be considered transsexual in the strict use of the term, though may still get it as a diagnosis depending on where they live in order to experience full treatment i.e. HRT, surgery etc.
When it comes to gender and sex, I think gender identity can be complex in that some people like one of my friends identifies more as female but does not experience any body dysphoria and is more of a bigendered individual in that he feels that he can switch identities though he lives as a male (hence I refer to him as such). However, transsexualism specifically refers to when one's identity matches the gender binary e.g. male body and male identity. So you would be considered TS but not the OP since you want a male body and by and large, has a male identity.
Also to the OP, being confused at the beginning is normal. I think most of us were, especially once we got to the point where we began to really explore ourselves and our identities and what it is we really felt and wanted. Some people are lucky and just knew at a certain point in life who they are and how they felt, but some of us not so much. I only realized almost exactly a year ago what I wanted though I had felt "off" at least since my teens, and I second that every step towards male feels so much better than female, even the parts I don't like about the male body such as body hair.
And it's not vain to be afraid of going bald. Bio guys are afraid of it too and for a reason. It's very stigmatized despite being so common. The best way of knowing what it is you want is through trial and error, pretty much. There is no other real way of fully knowing whether it is something you want or not. It's a lot of "feeling through" process, or was at least for me, to see how far I wanted to go especially because I was initially very reluctant about my identity thinking it was all in my head and I was making things up. I wanted to remain female because it's so much easier obviously, but once you know there's no going back. At least not for me. I cannot lie to myself.
I don't regret anything I've done thus far, personally. I have my own idea of how to be masculine which is still within the masculine range but feminized (I dislike that word, it's so binary-driven but whatever). So maybe one day you will find out that there are things you thought you didn't mind that you will later mind and things you mind and later don't mind. I felt that way about beard growth for example. I have been on T for over 4 months so I get a lot of fuzzy hair if I don't shave somewhat regularly, and while I initially really disliked the idea of having a beard I have grown accustomed to the idea that I like it as a potential to have. I don't feel beard defines my masculinity like a lot of other guys do it though, far from. I do however feel that there's a nice inclusion in having a beard or at least doing facial shaving in that it's a ritual that's almost explicitly male and with that ritual there's a sense of inclusion. Some people may not find that important, some people do. Personally I do want to feel a part of the male sex and gender so at some level having things and doing things that can make me associate myself with masculinity and maleness in a larger context is of course affirming for myself and feels good and right. Especially for non-binary individuals, this may not be a problem.
To clarify, what is the most important to understand when it comes to T is that there is no pick and choose though I bet 99% of the guys out there would gladly pick and choose if they just could. If you want a deeper voice you cannot have your period for example, unless you take T and stop at least. But that also means beard growth or something resembling beard growth among other things. So I advice thinking over what it is you want from T and what it is you do not want from T. There are ways to gain a deeper voice naturally for women called Natural Testosterone (NT) which does not include taking T as an additive substance and may therefore not have any other real effects outside of this, though it requires a lot of lifestyle changes that may or may not be up your alley. NT does not guarantee that your voice will drop either.
So yes, seeing a therapist is a good thing.
