In another forum, I recently mentioned that for decades I used facial hair as a symbol of my masculinity, and as a barrier against any femininity I felt inside.
Ever since I have been on HRT, I have had this strange urge to color my nails. Yesterday, I gave into that and painted my fingernails for the very first time. By the way, I did a really crummy job. Like everything with womanhood, there seems to be a bit of a learning curve. But even with that sub par effort, they are having a powerful effect on me this morning. While I am typing this, I am seeing those bright red nails out of the corner of my eye. I look down at my hands, and they look like a woman's to me. My hands are actually pretty feminine even without the polish, but with that added touch, I feel like they align perfectly with what I feel inside. What is interesting to me is a side effect of that: I am even more aware of what doesn't align with that image. In other words, I feel even more dysphoric. For those of you who are wondering whether you might actually be a transsexual (but are unsure) an interesting experiment might be to paint your nails. It doesn't require any major investment, and it can be undone in minutes. If you can, leave it on for a day or two, and note how that constant reminder makes you feel.
