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Dysphoria and Confusion

Started by Ron, June 29, 2014, 03:24:07 AM

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Ron

My sex dysphoria for the past few years has been awful. Finding out I was genderfluid cleared up previous feelings I went through in life. I didn't understand what I was going through was dysphoria because I had times where I was okay with being identified as a woman. I have chest and bottom dysphoria and think constantly about taking testosterone, so constantly that I'm sick to my stomach seeing the word testosterone because I don't have any. Not being the man I want to be has been the biggest source of my gross feelings. I'm currently in therapy for anxiety problems and I have not told my cis male therapist about my gender and me being a male like him. I'm so uncomfortable with my body that I think some of my gender fluidity comes from being ashamed to express that I am a man, so I say I'm female when I'm not to feel more comfortable. That's why I'm confused. I don't know what a person's experience would be like to identify as just male as a trans person. I was wondering if gender can change after testosterone/surgery and how many people's gender have changed after hormones. I'm still questioning the rest of my gender besides the male half, I'm just confused about all of this stuff.
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Ms Grace

Hey Ron!

Welcome to Susan's  :)  Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

I hope you can find some answers to your concerns and feelings of dysphoria.

Please check out the following links for site rules, helpful tips and other info...


Cheers

Grace
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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Jessica Merriman

Hi Ron!  :icon_wave: A big warm welcome to the family!  :)
Quote from: Ron on June 29, 2014, 03:24:07 AM
I was wondering if gender can change after testosterone/surgery and how many people's gender have changed after hormones.

I am a little confused myself, so bear with me here. Are you asking if your gender MARKER can be changed such as drivers license, birth Certificate, etc., or are you asking if hormones and surgery make you a fully biological member of your target gender?
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Blue Senpai

Just so you're aware, gender is how you feel inside. Testosterone and hormones only changes your outward appearance to match what you feel inside, which is determined by your gender identity. While I'm not on testosterone ye or even had surgery, I feel completely male and never felt female for a second. Welcome to the forums and we hope to teach you that sex and gender are two different things.
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Ron

Quote from: Blue Senpai on June 29, 2014, 06:00:13 PM
Just so you're aware, gender is how you feel inside. Testosterone and hormones only changes your outward appearance to match what you feel inside, which is determined by your gender identity. While I'm not on testosterone ye or even had surgery, I feel completely male and never felt female for a second. Welcome to the forums and we hope to teach you that sex and gender are two different things.

I'm aware of the differences between sex and gender. I guess things can be different for those that identify with being gender fluid. I identify with three genders, mainly male and have male dysphoria like a trans men would. I'm questioning the rest of my gender and it's authenticity because my gender changes when I'm in uncomfortable situations. Thanks for the input it was helpful :). All I wanted to know is how other trans people feel about their gender because I feel I'm still exploring mine.
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Ron

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on June 29, 2014, 05:25:42 PM
Hi Ron!  :icon_wave: A big warm welcome to the family!  :)
I am a little confused myself, so bear with me here. Are you asking if your gender MARKER can be changed such as drivers license, birth Certificate, etc., or are you asking if hormones and surgery make you a fully biological member of your target gender?

Hello Jessica, Thank You.

I understand the difference between sex and gender. I was just curious if my gender would change and not my sex. It's me questioning my gender identities in terms of how I feel inside about my gender and what it means to me. I have not communicated with many gender-fluid and trans people, I'm just curious/trying to understand others fluid feelings relating to gender.
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Jessica Merriman

I hope I am getting you right here. Are you asking if it is possible for your gender preference to change? If so I know mine did. There is a lot of controversy if it changes or if HRT allows the real you to come out preference wise. Am I close? ???
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Ron

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on June 29, 2014, 11:57:37 PM
I hope I am getting you right here. Are you asking if it is possible for your gender preference to change? If so I know mine did. There is a lot of controversy if it changes or if HRT allows the real you to come out preference wise. Am I close? ???

That's exactly what I'm asking. If it's possible for gender preference to change, everything you said.
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Jessica Merriman

In my personal case it did. I only had relations with females. I worked in the Fire Department and lived, worked, showered, etc. with the other guys all the time. Never once did I look, think about or even fantasize about sex or relations with a single one of them at all. Now after HRT They are the candy bar in the middle of the weight watchers meeting and I want one bad! ^-^ I dream, fantasize and look forward to being post SRS where I can act on it. :)
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MacG

My experience... I have felt genderqueer for a very long time. In deciding to transition (ftm), it has become more clear to me that I mainly identify as male and I'm comfortable with that. I don't know if surgery or testosterone will affect how I feel about my gender. I suspect I will just feel more comfortable, not more male.

gennee

Hello Ron and welcome to Susan's. I hope that you'll find the answers to your questions.


:)
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Make a difference by being a difference.   :)

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