Well I really like this girl the same girl I been liking, I've called her beautiful numerous times but everytime I do she says she's not that beautiful and there are other girls way prettier than her, How can I get her to talk about it so I can help her out and show her she really is.

Doesn't sound t me like she wants to talk about it. Just be patient and watch how she reacts to various things in her life. You will discover them without having to ask about something she would rather not discuss. The direct approach is not always the best way to do things. 

You're already doing it. Just don't push. This is one of those things where she needs to figure it out for herself.

Most people don't like taking compliments of any sort with ease. This is because they think it might make them seem boastful or pretentious.  For example, if someone said to me "wow you're handsome" I would probably not go "Oh thank you" I would probably say something like "oh I'm not really but thanks'.  Now this is just me but I know a lot of people feel like this too. She probably already knows that she is pretty and appreciates you calling her beautiful but her to accept your compliment so easily probably would make her feel like she is a snob or something. This is just my opinion.

How do you ask a girl about her insecurities? You don't. You told her she was beautiful and she probably loved it and she probably doesn't see herself as pretty as some other girls. Most if not all girls think there are prettier girls out there than themselves even the most beautiful girl in the world if she isn't concieted about it and if there truly is the one most beautiful girl in the world. But.... I'll delve a little deeper in Flirting 101....

Quote from: Brandon on June 29, 2014, 09:25:36 PM
Well I really like this girl the same girl I been liking, I've called her beautiful numerous times but everytime I do she says she's not that beautiful and there are other girls way prettier than her, How can I get her to talk about it so I can help her out and show her she really is.

Really important, what do you say when she says that? Hypothetically we know each other whether as neighbors, work relations or whatever. You tell me I am beautiful. I say the same thing she does and that there are way prettier girls out there than me. You knocked and I opened the door now let me know how beautiful you think I am compared to the other girls. Doesn't really sound like she is insecure but rather giving you a chance to let her know how beautiful you think she is. If she was really insecure she would probably call herself ugly and or say nothing and walk away maybe burst out in tears or even get angry with you. But since she says she is not that beautiful and she is comparing herself to other girls she is looking for affirmation from you and just how beautiful she is to you.

If you are just telling her she is beautiful and she comes back with something like that and you don't follow up, then I really hate to tell you but it will never go anywhere.

Sometimes you just gotta for it and if you do get shot down in flames, put the fire out, don't let it hit your ego too hard and stand up and move on. I have been on both sides and have been shot down and have shot others down too. And many times me and someone else flew off into the sunset together.

If your repeat it too often, it will come off as fake. You may want to compliment other individual things that you think are good about her. Things like how she does stuff, to new hair or nails. Limit the basic 'beautiful' compliments.

This is just some personal advice. Use it if you can, don't if you can't, but think about it all the same.

You don't have to bother with all the fuss, nonsense, and awkwardness talking about it.  Just show her she's beautiful.  Also, just because she denies her attractiveness doesn't mean she doesn't like hearing it.  Just respond with something simple like if she says other girls are way prettier say "not to me."  If she wants to keep on talking about it and open up she will. 

I could be wrong here but perhaps she doesn't want to be admired for her appearance.

You could try getting her to talk about her interests and see if you can do something together that you'd both enjoy.
I'd hope that she'd appreciate your company more than your compliments.

Just a thought.

Quote from: TrojanMan on June 29, 2014, 11:36:40 PM
Most people don't like taking compliments of any sort with ease. This is because they think it might make them seem boastful or pretentious.  For example, if someone said to me "wow you're handsome" I would probably not go "Oh thank you" I would probably say something like "oh I'm not really but thanks'.  Now this is just me but I know a lot of people feel like this too. She probably already knows that she is pretty and appreciates you calling her beautiful but her to accept your compliment so easily probably would make her feel like she is a snob or something. This is just my opinion.

Your right some don't but trust me she does not like the way she looks you can tell just from her body language that she's very insecure, we go to the same school. She always says I'm not that pretty in a sadder tone.

Quote from: Jess42 on June 30, 2014, 08:42:15 AM
How do you ask a girl about her insecurities? You don't. You told her she was beautiful and she probably loved it and she probably doesn't see herself as pretty as some other girls. Most if not all girls think there are prettier girls out there than themselves even the most beautiful girl in the world if she isn't concieted about it and if there truly is the one most beautiful girl in the world. But.... I'll delve a little deeper in Flirting 101....

Really important, what do you say when she says that? Hypothetically we know each other whether as neighbors, work relations or whatever. You tell me I am beautiful. I say the same thing she does and that there are way prettier girls out there than me. You knocked and I opened the door now let me know how beautiful you think I am compared to the other girls. Doesn't really sound like she is insecure but rather giving you a chance to let her know how beautiful you think she is. If she was really insecure she would probably call herself ugly and or say nothing and walk away maybe burst out in tears or even get angry with you. But since she says she is not that beautiful and she is comparing herself to other girls she is looking for affirmation from you and just how beautiful she is to you.

If you are just telling her she is beautiful and she comes back with something like that and you don't follow up, then I really hate to tell you but it will never go anywhere.

Sometimes you just gotta for it and if you do get shot down in flames, put the fire out, don't let it hit your ego too hard and stand up and move on. I have been on both sides and have been shot down and have shot others down too. And many times me and someone else flew off into the sunset together.

Umm I see her enough and talk her enough to no that she really does not like they way she looks, Not to mention the fact that she's not really curvy and she's not that developed. She always gets alittle upset about not having that much of a body, We follow eachother on twitter, And most of the stuff she says suggest she is. Her body launguage gives it away fairly easy of course I had to have a gil point it out for me because I had no clue. And before I get with her I want her to appreciate herself and know that she's beautiful thats a turn off to most guys sometimes, Its not just about trying to be her man I wanna show her that she is beautiful. You can't be insecure in relationship.

Quote from: Falconer on June 30, 2014, 01:29:33 PM
I could be wrong here but perhaps she doesn't want to be admired for her appearance.

You could try getting her to talk about her interests and see if you can do something together that you'd both enjoy.
I'd hope that she'd appreciate your company more than your compliments.

Just a thought.

No she never gets complimented that much from other guys, she was shocked when I told her she was beautiful. So she wants to hear it.

Quote from: GnomeKid on June 30, 2014, 12:18:51 PM
You don't have to bother with all the fuss, nonsense, and awkwardness talking about it.  Just show her she's beautiful.  Also, just because she denies her attractiveness doesn't mean she doesn't like hearing it.  Just respond with something simple like if she says other girls are way prettier say "not to me."  If she wants to keep on talking about it and open up she will.

Well yea but something could of happend to her to make her feel that way I mean she could be hurt and I really care about her.

Quote from: Brandon on June 30, 2014, 03:17:43 PM

Umm I see her enough and talk her enough to no that she really does not like they way she looks, Not to mention the fact that she's not really curvy and she's not that developed. She always gets alittle upset about not having that much of a body, We follow eachother on twitter, And most of the stuff she says suggest she is. Her body launguage gives it away fairly easy of course I had to have a gil point it out for me because I had no clue. And before I get with her I want her to appreciate herself and know that she's beautiful thats a turn off to most guys sometimes, Its not just about trying to be her man I wanna show her that she is beautiful. You can't be insecure in relationship.

do you really think a girl who is insecure about herself really gives two craps about how it is making a guy be "turned off???" it is about HER and NOT you. people have issues with their bodies and you, as a trans man, should understand that. she is unhappy with her body, just as you are. is there anything she could say to make you feel any different when you're feeling dysphoric? even if she sees you 10000% as a man, if you're feeling crappy about your body..you might say thank you, but you know how crappy you're feeling. it is the exact same thing, she is uncomfortable with her body and you just need to accept that and tell her she is beautiful, yes. maybe over time she will believe you and hell, you might end up making her feel beautiful but just because you do doesn't mean she, herself, feels that way about herself. she has to get over her own insecurities on her own and although you might be helping bit by bit, ultimately it is all on her.

and trust me, i get it because my ex, who i love to death, is gorgeous. i could tell her that over and over again but she still had the insecurities she had because she was unhappy with her own body. although i made her feel beautiful, she still didn't feel that way about herself. there is nothing i could do, and it hurt me, it pained me because i had this gorgeous woman who i just wanted to see what i see, to love her body the way i do but she couldn't because it was her own demons. these things are things people need to dela with on their own and no matter how many people can say they're gorgeous, hot, fit, whatever..it is based on them. you can't be her knight in shining armor for everything, you can't magically "fix" her, or have everything be based off of you and how you feel or what you think. she is a human and you need to definitely respect it if she doesn't wanna talk about it. you need to realize she is a teenaged girl, she is still figuring out herself and dealing with her own stuff. she isn't perfect and you can't expect her to be this self confident woman all the time or w/e else. if you have these high, unrealistic expectations of her and a relationship, expecting to fix her, and be her everything or w/e else, you are gonna be so disappointed.

She will never talk about her insecurieties with you because it will just make them more evident... Don't push her, just leave it to her, when she is comfortable then maybe she will talk to you about it.

Quote from: Brandon on June 30, 2014, 04:06:41 PM

Well yea but something could of happend to her to make her feel that way I mean she could be hurt and I really care about her.

I usually didn't enjoy it if one of my friends or someone I was interested in romantically tried to 'fix' me by making me tell them my deepest things because in all honesty it didn't help me feel any better. It made me feel weird that someone would try to fix things for me, or it felt like they wanted the info for themselves. Being in highschool made me very protective of information about my own feelings. I also didn't like people diagnosing me even if I did have negative self feelings. It felt really accusatory,someone else knew stuff that I was just trying to figure out and I thought it made me look bad in their eyes because they can't stop thinking of the negative things I pointed out about myself.

Just being able to have someone subtly say things after I say something self depricating like 'Well I think you're awesome.' or 'You're too hard on yourself, I think you are the best.' helped more than someone knowing my insecurities having the opportunity to bring them up when I was already being hard on myself. Our self worth shouldn't rely on others, and you cannot make someone else better by convincing them they are great-they have to recognize it themselves. I think like others said focusing more than on her beauty will let her know that she's a good person.

I also strongly agree with invisiblemonsters in that many women or young women insecure or not don't focus their self worth on what men think of their self esteem. People love compliments, but self esteem cannot be tied to that. I don't think telling us how the negatives of her body in detail is very supportive as a friend.

Quote from: Brandon on June 30, 2014, 03:17:43 PM

Umm I see her enough and talk her enough to no that she really does not like they way she looks, Not to mention the fact that she's not really curvy and she's not that developed. She always gets alittle upset about not having that much of a body, We follow eachother on twitter, And most of the stuff she says suggest she is. Her body launguage gives it away fairly easy of course I had to have a gil point it out for me because I had no clue. And before I get with her I want her to appreciate herself and know that she's beautiful thats a turn off to most guys sometimes, Its not just about trying to be her man I wanna show her that she is beautiful. You can't be insecure in relationship.

Oh Brandon, a girl most certainly can be insecure in a relationship. We are always insecure. We always ask our guys if we look fat, if our butt looks too big in a certain dress and we always get pissed when you don't notice we have a new hairstyle. If that isn't insecurity and or looking for affirmation from our Guys, I don't know what is. You need to make us feel secure. Yes it is a stereotype but more often than not steroetypes tend to be true and that is our guys are supposed to make us feel good about ourselves Like we make you feel good about yourselves. What worries me and concerns me is why do you want her to appreciate herself before a relationship? That is kind of confusing. If you like her let her know. And FYI we don't need to be secure with our looks before you like us and let us know you like us.

Quote from: Brandon on June 30, 2014, 04:06:41 PM

Well yea but something could of happend to her to make her feel that way I mean she could be hurt and I really care about her.

Well let her know you care about her.

Quote from: Brandon on June 30, 2014, 03:19:48 PM
No she never gets complimented that much from other guys, she was shocked when I told her she was beautiful. So she wants to hear it.

We all do regardless. But over and over again with no followup from you, like I said earlier, would make me think you are blowing smoke.

BTW you can follow her on facebook or twitter or whatever othe social network but face to face and body language will tell you a whole lot more.

Quote from: Brandon on June 30, 2014, 04:06:41 PM

Well yea but something could of happend to her to make her feel that way I mean she could be hurt and I really care about her.

She's a high school girl.  Not much awful in life has to happen to make her feel that way.  I never met one high school girl who didn't have thoughts like that, and I hung out with a bunch of misfits who tried not to care much about what anyone else though. 

Quote from: invisiblemonsters on June 30, 2014, 05:09:41 PM
do you really think a girl who is insecure about herself really gives two craps about how it is making a guy be "turned off???" it is about HER and NOT you. people have issues with their bodies and you, as a trans man, should understand that. she is unhappy with her body, just as you are. is there anything she could say to make you feel any different when you're feeling dysphoric? even if she sees you 10000% as a man, if you're feeling crappy about your body..you might say thank you, but you know how crappy you're feeling. it is the exact same thing, she is uncomfortable with her body and you just need to accept that and tell her she is beautiful, yes. maybe over time she will believe you and hell, you might end up making her feel beautiful but just because you do doesn't mean she, herself, feels that way about herself. she has to get over her own insecurities on her own and although you might be helping bit by bit, ultimately it is all on her.

and trust me, i get it because my ex, who i love to death, is gorgeous. i could tell her that over and over again but she still had the insecurities she had because she was unhappy with her own body. although i made her feel beautiful, she still didn't feel that way about herself. there is nothing i could do, and it hurt me, it pained me because i had this gorgeous woman who i just wanted to see what i see, to love her body the way i do but she couldn't because it was her own demons. these things are things people need to dela with on their own and no matter how many people can say they're gorgeous, hot, fit, whatever..it is based on them. you can't be her knight in shining armor for everything, you can't magically "fix" her, or have everything be based off of you and how you feel or what you think. she is a human and you need to definitely respect it if she doesn't wanna talk about it. you need to realize she is a teenaged girl, she is still figuring out herself and dealing with her own stuff. she isn't perfect and you can't expect her to be this self confident woman all the time or w/e else. if you have these high, unrealistic expectations of her and a relationship, expecting to fix her, and be her everything or w/e else, you are gonna be so disappointed.

What are you talking about no one is trying to fix her, And God could have very well put me in her life for a reason, And I realize half the stuff you just said, Yes it can bcome a turn execpt I'm not an ass like that for some guys yes it is.

Quote from: GnomeKid on June 30, 2014, 07:36:45 PM
She's a high school girl.  Not much awful in life has to happen to make her feel that way.  I never met one high school girl who didn't have thoughts like that, and I hung out with a bunch of misfits who tried not to care much about what anyone else though.

You never know. No one does but things do happen

Quote from: Emily29 on June 30, 2014, 05:24:19 PM
She will never talk about her insecurieties with you because it will just make them more evident... Don't push her, just leave it to her, when she is comfortable then maybe she will talk to you about it.

I wasn't trying to get her to talk about besides I already know why she's insecure, As they say a girls twitter is full of hints just like she reads everything I do to. So I already know why.