Listening to a song that moves way too fast and it got me excited and now I can't focus on my work. =/

In other news, I suck and I'm going to have to put in a lot more work to finish this project than I thought. *sigh* I just want to be done.

What I'm I thinking, 1:3o am sitting here listening to music making my bed crying my ass off. Christinia perri's thousand years prob set me off one of those moods. Idk I should be happy as hell "blend in" 99% of the time own my own business but I'm ..........alone and it f'ing kills me. 7 yrs now. There will never be that "fairy tail" ending for me. Why cause I'm an it and no body wants an it. Don't know how much more of this I can't take.
Yesterday was pride here unless the lgb friends of mine had asked me to go I wouldn't have went. I tagged along to support them, I hate what I am this f'ing curse. There's only one why to cure it and don't even have the balls to do it. Yes my 4o cal to my head and end this sh!t. Idk :/

Not doing great.

Quote from: MyKa on July 01, 2014, 01:51:20 AM
What I'm I thinking, 1:3o am sitting here listening to music making my bed crying my ass off. Christinia perri's thousand years prob set me off one of those moods. Idk I should be happy as hell "blend in" 99% of the time own my own business but I'm ..........alone and it ->-bleeped-<-ing kills me. 7 yrs now. There will never be that "ferry tail" ending for me. Why cause I'm an it and no body wants an it. Don't know how much more of this I can't take.
Yesterday was pride here unless the lgb friends of mine had asked me to go I wouldn't have went. I tagged along to support them, I hate what I am this ->-bleeped-<-ing curse. There's only one why to cure it and don't even have the balls to do it. Yes my 4o cal to my head and end this sh!t. Idk :/

I'm so sorry MyKa. I don't know if this is any consolation, but I was just about to post in here saying I was just listening to music and crying my ass off too. Except I was making a blog post that I decided against publishing. And I'm feeling sad for many of the same reasons that you are, honestly.

You're not alone. I can tell you this, as someone who spent years wanting to end it, don't ever follow through on those desires. So often, this picture has proven to be true for my experience:

Sorry birkin your feeling the same it's crazy how music sets you off on an emotional roller coaster. Like I said I don't have the balls prob never will I'm stuck here in this living hell

Is it wrong for me to answer the door in a bikini and stroll around when I know the cute young missionary boys will be about?

Quote from: V M on July 01, 2014, 05:15:37 AM
Is it wrong for me to answer the door in a bikini and stroll around when I know the cute young missionary boys will be about?

You temptress you. Well how are they to know if they are on the right path if you don't.

Thinking of staying on the train instead of getting of at my stop. It is very cold outside tonight

I think that only works til you hit the end of the line.

No our trains usually stop for awhile then go right on back. There is one that leaves around midnight and gets back in around 6/7. I've seen people ride it, sad that they have to but it beats spending a cold night outside with nowhere to go

Quote from: V M on July 01, 2014, 05:15:37 AM
Is it wrong for me to answer the door in a bikini and stroll around when I know the cute young missionary boys will be about?

Not if you can cause them to stutter, look at their feet and shuffle during their presentation, then you will have done the Lord's work! 

Quote from: MyKa on July 01, 2014, 01:51:20 AM
What I'm I thinking, 1:3o am sitting here listening to music making my bed crying my ass off. Christinia perri's thousand years prob set me off one of those moods. Idk I should be happy as hell "blend in" 99% of the time own my own business but I'm ..........alone and it ->-bleeped-<-ing kills me. 7 yrs now. There will never be that "fairy tail" ending for me. Why cause I'm an it and no body wants an it. Don't know how much more of this I can't take.
Yesterday was pride here unless the lgb friends of mine had asked me to go I wouldn't have went. I tagged along to support them, I hate what I am this ->-bleeped-<-ing curse. There's only one why to cure it and don't even have the balls to do it. Yes my 4o cal to my head and end this sh!t. Idk :/

Been there MyKa, don't do it hon! There's more to life, expand your horizons and reach out to others, it can be very satisfying and fulfilling.

Quote from: immortal gypsy on July 01, 2014, 06:55:46 AM
No our trains usually stop for awhile then go right on back. There is one that leaves around midnight and gets back in around 6/7. I've seen people ride it, sad that they have to but it beats spending a cold night outside with nowhere to go

I used to do that with greyhound busses.

Quote from: Shantel on July 01, 2014, 08:16:12 AM
Not if you can cause them to stutter, look at their feet and shuffle during their presentation, then you will have done the Lord's work! 

LOL... They do stutter, look at their feet and shuffle about a bit, I offered them lemonade, but they seem to think they should get going to their next appointment for some reason

Quote from: Evelyn K on June 30, 2014, 11:06:00 PM
Why is it illegal for me to sell my kidneys?

That was random. 

Wishing I was Korean. I find I fit with the culture better than I thought.

Superhero cape Tuedays in full effect.

Pizza Hut is no longer offering the P-Zone. That sucks. Oh well...they just lost me as a customer since that was the only thing I ordered from them these days.

Whether or not to just go up to my dad and say sorry, even though all I did was ignore him since he never said sorry to me.

i've official lost grip on my sanity 

I was cooking and my mom dumped in a bunch of stuff from the fridge into my food. See, in the majority of cases this wouldn't bother me, but my family is REALLY bad for leaving food out way too long and then putting it in the fridge. So I can just imagine this meat and this onion being left out for hours, may I add in the summer heat. I would really prefer not to get food poisoning the day before my first official day at my second job.