Well...it's done...operation complete, hurraaaaah!! Dr. Kim worked his magic (hopefully!) around 9am local time after quite a few final nerves..when the gravity of what was about to happen really sunk in and how much this is likely to change my life for the better. Yep, the last minute jitters totally caught me by surprise as I'd been SO serene until I was sat in my room (room number 3!) just imagining some of you gals I've chatted to on here who had possibly sat right there in that same spot on my red sofa as I waited for Dr. Kim him to come in for our pre-op chat and informed consent form signing!! I think Dr. Kim could tell..he was so sweet and held my hand when I was on the table and the mask was put on my face and I was given the injection (making you feel that tingle go aaaaaaaaaall the way up your arm just before you black-out...was my first general anesthetic so I think that's part of the reason I felt quite nervous too) Arghhh...all went well though by all accounts and loved Dr. Kim letting me take a look at my new shorter vocal cords with the camera (looking nice and neat I think!) shortly before I was discharged and allowed to go back and relax in my (amazing!) hotel that feels like home to me now.
I will say, despite having prepared myself for some discomfort on waking up immediately after the op by reading the many other accounts of yours on here, it really was uncomfortable/painful, my god! Just remember waking, all spaced out, and my throat genuinely felt like it was on fire...so sore...forget 'cold'..how about full-blown flu or tonsillitis, sob sob, haha! So the hour and a half or so before I was allowed water...and most importantly, ice cream (!) felt like forever...the ice cream was by far the most useful in helping with the pain..mmmm that godly cold vanilla ice cream truly was heaven and immediately started taking that pain away. I called my nurse (the sweetest, smiliest, cutest girl I think I've ever met..she reminded me of a Japanese cartoon character
I didn't catch her name) 2 more times to get more of it! Luckily, she was still smiling both those times and I didn't bother her with the call button for the rest of my time there!!
Aaaanyway, I won't say too much more about that other than I've had a nice easy recovery evening. Just dying for some time to pass now so I can get some recovery days under my belt and will probably take a big sigh of relief when I reach the 7 day 'full heal' milestone when I won't have that constant worry that I could tear my cords apart by accidentally coughing too hard etc! (So far had couple coughs (totally involuntary!!) from build up of phlegm. So involuntary that I didn't have the time to open my mouth and 'whoosh' the air out (as lovely Jessie advises) so I absolutely sh*t myself both times but all OK I think as no pain...and I confirmed with Jessie that yes, if we do tear our sutures apart, we know about it very quickly because it would be VERY painful...ouch...touch wood...come on God/Universe, pls let me heal ok without any big hiccups!! As some of you may have read, I was a smoker but quit a month or more back and thank god I did. I've had enough time to lose any sign of smoker's cough so surely that's a blessing..I'd have been an idiot to have this procedure with the extra risk of hard coughing. Although Dr. Kim did put my mind at ease quite a lot when discussing the possibility of the odd few coughs we might have; explaining that, while it's good to avoid coughing, ultimately the vocal folds just tense and move once or twice during a cough so shouldn't cause any problems..unlike speaking during this recovery time which is far more traumatic and risky due to the sheer number of times per second they move during voiced phonation.
Due to my stupidly busy times shortly before coming to Korea (with my house-moving etc), my thread didn't quite become that perfect, organised one I'd hoped for with all my pre-op voice samples on before my trip etc but hey ho...my life is often chaotic and disorganised, nothing new there! But on Sunday I was able to record a couple of last minute voice clips of the Rainbow passage to upload here which you'll find below. Please excuse the quality with some background humming and the quietness of the recording (no idea why). I tried my best to resolve it as my mic (inbuilt on my laptop) in the past has been very good and hasn't had that issue but sadly I couldn't figure out what the issue was...but if you turn it up loud you should be able to hear me quite clearly. Please note (and this might sound like I'm making excuses) that my voice was feeling quite worn out and wasnt feeling overly relaxed (!), partly due to the pressure of having to record them just before going to bed last night to get a few hours sleep before my early morning surgery. But I don't claim my voice is THAT much better than below normally or anything. If I thought my voice was that amazing and easy to maintain I probably wouldn't have bothered with Yeson in the first place
I'd appreciate any thoughts from any of you though. I've never had much chance for an impartial opinion on my voice...be it my 'male' voice or feminised voice! Anyway I hope these are most useful for comparison when I start being able to use my new voice...eeeeek...I am excited..a lot...I won't lie!
I didn't take a photo of that page analysis Dr. Kim shows you with the main facts and figures obtained from my pre-op examinations but I can say that I was told (and shown!) that my cords were somewht asymetrical with one a little thicker than the other and could see on the super slowmo cam recording that their motion during phonation were far from perfect...with the thinner one being a lazy b*tch and not moving quite as perfectly and in-time with the thicker one. Dr. Kim said this could have happened the last few years since I began transition from my trying to overcompensate or strain or push too much air through (etc etc, it's late so I can't remember everything he said) from trying to feminine my voice. That's very possible..or maybe my cords were always a bit special needs, guess there's no way of being 100% sure but it's irrelevent I guess. Fact is, Dr. Kim claimed he was able to at least improve them and 'balance them out' more with the way he sutured them this morning so fingers crossed that this will improve the general health of my voice in the long-term. He's told me that I'll need botox for my considerable vocal tremor as I said in my last post..I must say it was a LOT more than usual..think partly due to nerves I don't know..or lack of sleep..yeah my voice defo wasn't in its best shape that day of the examinations but I'm sure everything he said was very true and that my vocal tremor is more than average! My 'male'/lower range voice as I said above was determine as 130 Hz. And my raised voice...which I took as just my most comfortable raised 'feminised' voice came out at 160hz...quite low but probably quite close to how my female voice normally is when I'm speaking in a relaxed way and not trying too hard to get quite a bit higher, which happens when meeting new people (or cute boys!) etc! ;P
Anyway sorry all if you're reading and it's getting longwinded - I'm blabbing again (bit tired!) and this has got quite long so I'll just go ahead and post along with my voiceclips and chat very soon. Gonna have my first night's sleep since the surgery now and hope I don't talk in my sleep or anything, arghhh...it happens quite often..and I'm a bit of a sleepwalker at times too....what a freak I am
A Very Happy Gigi,
x
https://soundcloud.com/user819247001/pre-op-male-voice - my old male voice, arghhh!
https://soundcloud.com/user819247001/pre-op-feminised-voice-medium-high-and-very-easy-to-maintain - My most used (with friends and family etc) and easy to maintain feminised voice. I consider it quite low and think it's gender neutral (if not overly male!) at some points (sadly!) but as above, very comfortable to use and requires very little effort so my voice of choice for most times.
https://soundcloud.com/user819247001/pre-op-feminised-voice-2-slightly-higher-and-little-less-easy-to-maintain - This is my slightly higher feminised voice which I feel is less gender neutral or ambiguous at points than my Pre-op feminised voice 1 one. It's a little more effort to maintain which is why I consider it the voice I use around strangers etc.
Thoughts anyone?
go easy on me, scared I've highlighted the crapness of my female voices with the above clips
Oh and btw, if anyone knows an easy way for me to put these into praat (by being able to play them thru my speakers and recording them on praat and then cutting out that annoying lower hz drone so that it doesnt affect the calculation) pls let me know..that way I'll be able to calculate the average frequency of each of them a lot better. I'd experimented with praat quite a few times at home many weeks ago but didn't have time to use praat for these as I recorded them so last minute i.e. the night before my operation!! ooops.
P.s. Big kiss to you Joanna, hope you're still recovering well. I just saw your private message, will read now. It's late so I might have to reply tomorrow. Take care and chat very soon!
P.p.s. Barbie - Hope you're well and that you got my private message i sent at the weekend. Shame I won't be here around 23rd - 24th when you're gonna be around to be able to hook up. If you end up coming earlier (before my departure day of 21st) just let me know! Chat sooooon!
