Hi!
I have my FFS (really need to stop referring to it as FFS surgery!) booked for two months time. When I was planning and researching it, going to consultations etc I felt pretty clear headed about it. Once I booked it earlier this week I started to feel a lot of anxiety about the actual operation, it hit me all at once.

I absolutely want to do this, I know it will make a big difference for me and be a positive step in my transition, but I have this rising feeling of fear that I'm worried is going to get worse over time and affect my health.

So I was just wondering if anyone else here has felt the same before surgery, and how you dealt with it, or whether there are any good resources for coping with the anxiety?

Do you know what exactly you are anxious about? You don't mention any reason in particular. Spotting the source(s) of your anxiety might be the first step toward keeping it under control. There is nothing worse than abstract fears.
Don't you trust your surgeon? Are you afraid of pain? Do you think you may not like the results? Are you afraid of how the facial gender change would impact on your life and relationships?... None of them? All of them?

Sorry yes I should have been a bit more specific.

It's not the surgeon, I trust him, I've done my research and I feel good about my choice. I think I'd feel this way whichever surgeon I picked. And it's not how the changes would affect my interactions with others; I expect they would improve them if anything. It's more just the fear of the surgery. The idea that one day in the near future I'm going to go into a room and a man is going to cut into my face. I find it quite troubling and frightening and I cant say exactly why. I am afraid of the pain, yes, but I think it's more the actual process that is getting to me. I've never been under general anaesthesia before so that scares me a bit, and the idea that when I wake up my face won't be 'connected' like it was before keeps popping up in my head. I know it sounds ridiculous, and perhaps I'll get over this and be able to relax, but in case I don't I just want to figure out a way of managing my anxiety so that it doesn't become a problem. I do, after all, have to function as a normal worker bee right up until the big day.

So to answer your question, I think my fears are slightly abstract!

 think Celia makes a good point, a lot of people have a few anxieties about surgery in general, mostly about being under the anaesthetic, etc, coming clear to yourself about what really is causing the anxiety could help clear that fog, unless you are just a worrier type person who easily gets anxiety over things which would make sense you would be extra anxious about something as big as this.

Like you, I recently booked my surgery (2weeks ago) and it's gonna happen on the last week of next month, so I'm about a week short of 2 months from it, I have had but a couple of moments of a very faint thought of worry, but mostly I feel excited and like I can't wait. Just plain suggestions as to what I do when I feel anxiety in other areas of my life are:

-Exercise (anxiety's biggest enemy)
-Lots of water
-a b complex vitamin or a multivitamin at the least (nourished system can cope better) and a healthy diet.
-maybe a massage or 2 as your date gets closer
-hugs and affection from those around you (oxytocin!)
-meditation (properly done, it can help immensely, choose your method, spiritual or not the aim is the same)
- keep extra busy, don't let your mind wonder.

And remember:

Worry is like a rocking chair,
It gives you something to do,
But it gets you nowhere.

Best wishes Hun x

Quote from: Squircle on July 03, 2014, 05:46:02 PM
Sorry yes I should have been a bit more specific.

It's not the surgeon, I trust him, I've done my research and I feel good about my choice. I think I'd feel this way whichever surgeon I picked. And it's not how the changes would affect my interactions with others; I expect they would improve them if anything. It's more just the fear of the surgery. The idea that one day in the near future I'm going to go into a room and a man is going to cut into my face. I find it quite troubling and frightening and I cant say exactly why. I am afraid of the pain, yes, but I think it's more the actual process that is getting to me. I've never been under general anaesthesia before so that scares me a bit, and the idea that when I wake up my face won't be 'connected' like it was before keeps popping up in my head. I know it sounds ridiculous, and perhaps I'll get over this and be able to relax, but in case I don't I just want to figure out a way of managing my anxiety so that it doesn't become a problem. I do, after all, have to function as a normal worker bee right up until the big day.

So to answer your question, I think my fears are slightly abstract!

Lol squircle! You make it sound like the new sequel to the SAW movies (where are they now, SAW 7? I forget) anyway, yeah, you're definitely letting your mind wander a little too much, you will basically get a shot through your hand, fall asleep and wake up sore and funny looking but will quickly get better, I have been under general and local and local and sedative for different things Hun, you have nothing to worry about, now stop going looking at pics of how things look in the middle of the operation or you'll give yourself nightmares, and stop watching horror movies!! Lol

Nevertheless, I understand you, I had a little bit of that type of anxiety the first time I ever had an operation, it will be ok Hun.  0:)

I completely understand those feelings. This week I scheduled my FFS for December and I know I can't sit and worry like this for 150 days. It's hard to pinpoint a worry, you just want everything to be perfect. I love some of the work I have seen and I just hope I come out that good. But the some of the pictures on his website I just really don't care for, and I hope it's just a difference in bone structure or whatever that are so much different than mine rather than the work. I worry about some of the procedures- what will I regret more, having the cheek implants and lip lift done and wishing I hadn't, or not doing them and wishing I had. What if everything was as good as possible and I should have gone with a more or less agressive surgeon? Or what if I just don't like the result anyways?

And it feels like there isn't a right answer or a person to ask for a sure answer. I just have to make the decision and hope for the best. It's the unknown that I find so scary. I'm sure it will be fine on the other end and like so many others it will have been the best choice ever, but until then it's difficult to wait.

I was super nervous, especially the night before and the morning of...  At some point you just have to give it up to the larger universe... You're journey has led you to this point, you did your due diligence and all the soul searching... and then it's time to face and embrace your life's progression.  We have 3 choices, to move backward, to remain where we are, or to move forward...   Good luck! -J 

I have my FFS in 3 weeks.  Last year I had my nose done, as a bit of a prelude - to see how I react to anaesthetic and facial surgery in general.  And I was fine.

My feeling, Squircle, is that our fears are greater than the resulting situation (although ask me how I feel on the 27th when I get out of hospital )

My way of coping is to know that it's going to be the right thing as part of my transition.  And to keep my mind on that goal.

Quote from: jgirl76 on July 04, 2014, 01:36:11 AM
I was super nervous, especially the night before and the morning of...  At some point you just have to give it up to the larger universe... You're journey has led you to this point, you did your due diligence and all the soul searching... and then it's time to face and embrace your life's progression.  We have 3 choices, to move backward, to remain where we are, or to move forward...   Good luck! -J 

Glad to see you're back Jgirl!

Quote from: Julia-Madrid on July 04, 2014, 02:42:30 AM
I have my FFS in 3 weeks.  Last year I had my nose done, as a bit of a prelude - to see how I react to anaesthetic and facial surgery in general.  And I was fine.

My feeling, Squircle, is that our fears are greater than the resulting situation (although ask me how I feel on the 27th when I get out of hospital )

My way of coping is to know that it's going to be the right thing as part of my transition.  And to keep my mind on that goal.

Hey Julia! Hopefully we'll see some before and afters, so exciting !!! so how far is the trip from Madrid to Marbella?, i had a connecting flight in Madrid on the way to the UK from California a few years back, it's a really nice airport...

Quote from: calicarly on July 04, 2014, 04:02:28 AM

Hey Julia! Hopefully we'll see some before and afters, so exciting !!! so how far is the trip from Madrid to Marbella?, i had a connecting flight in Madrid on the way to the UK from California a few years back, it's a really nice airport...

Hi Calicarly

I shall certainly try and post a few before and after pics!  Unfortunately Marbella is far from anywhere.  It's a two-and-a-half hour high-speed train ride and then an hour by road.  Same time as a flight or a little more, but with no scenery.  I really like our fast trains and, since I'm 10 mins away from the station, it really makes sense to use it.     

Madrid's new airport is beautiful, but I'm there far too often for business!  In fast, out fast!

Hugs!
Julia

Hi Carly! It's Amy here!

I am excited, and I feel positive about actually getting this done, it's just this knot in my stomach about actually having surgery. I cant even put my finger on exactly what it is that gets to me about it, it's just stoopid fear, and indulging my fears hasn't done me much good over the years so I'm not going to let this get in the way of my progress.

From a different angle, one thing that does worry me slightly is my jaw. When I sent my pics off to Dr Bart, he sent back a proposal that only said work on my chin. And Facial Team told me in a face to face consultation that my jaw was ok. But the two American surgeons (Dr O and Dr Spiegel) recommended jaw work, and when I went to see Dr Bart in person he also suggested it. My budget didn't extend to this though so I had to limit it to just chin contouring instead of the entire jaw, and I do worry that I'm going to regret not getting it done in full. My jaw had never really bothered me before but now people have pointed it out it bugs me! Still, I could always revisit that at a later date.

Everything else will be fairly subtle but will all add up. I'll be having hairline and forehead recontouring (Dr Bart said I only need type 1), brow lift, rhinoplasty and a lip lift (and of course the chin contouring). Also, Dr Bart has offered to fix my lumpy top lip (childhood accident) and remove a mole in my eyebrow for free .

I've spent tonight drawing, which really chilled me out, so I think I'll be doing a lot more between now and September.

Thanks for the advice everyone, it's really appreciated .

Hi Amy!

Good to see you took the plunge and joined the forum!

You know, I told Rob about how u had all the anxiety over it and he says he can't get it out of his head that he saw a couple of pics of the forehead reconstruction in process and he kinda got a little stressed out over me going through that .. Interesting that Dr Bart said you only need type 1, that's actually good news, he told me type 2 or 3, which I hope he will just do a type 3 and get it right the first time, I def need the forehead work if you remember the pic I showed you

X

I also feel anxiety prior to surgeries. I had a full FFS and now my SRS three days ago. After I made the descision I do not think about the risks and the surgery itself. I just concentrate on the long term effects.
But I also do everything to be in good shape with sports, healthy nutrition and so on to minimize risks. And sometimes it is better not to go much into details regarding risks. :-)

Lara

It is perfectly natural to have anxiety before any major procedure or life event however I would highly recommend saving your energy and mental focus for recovery and not worry about the surgery it self as you have made your decision. Trust your doctor and team around you they will do a great job before, surgery day and beyond.

The recovery will be by far where you will spend most of your time and you will need to have as much energy and mental strength as you can in the bank before hand

First, do not look at surgeries of anykind on youtube or anywhere else. Second if you are afraid of the pain after, don't because they will give you pain medication. You might have a little soreness but for out and out excruciating pain, nah, they make pretty sure that you are comfortable. Third is to look forward to the surgery especially when the anesthesiologist shoots the first shot into the IV to relax you. I could have cared less if the world ended right after. I felt really really really good. Did I metion I felt really good?

I had surgery on my hand and had big time anxiety because crap like what if I am not knocked out and feel everything. That kind of scared the crap out of me but 1 is they will shoot the first really good medicine into the IV and you won't care about anything. Second is that they will knock you out, I lost 45 minutes of my life, no dreams or anything just a blink of the eye and 45 mins were gone. third they will give you a shot that is a nerve blocker after you are out, big needle but you will never feel it. Same thing with a breathing tube, you are gonna be under if they use one on ya. There really is nothing at all to worry about. The worst part was not being able to move my hand for a solid week after. But the pain after, they make sure you have enough pain pills to take care or it. I got my prescription the day before and had it filled and ready to go as soon as the nerve block wore off.

But definately do not look or watch any surgeries on youtube or TV or anything else. That will add to the anxiety bigtime.

I have this worry as well. I'm due to see Dr Ousterhout in just a few days and I'm really worried due to the fact that a friend of mine went to see him and the results are so subtle, they're almost not there. I chose Dr O to get a radical result if at all possible as he has a reputation for using aggressive techniques when he thinks it will help. I'm so scared I'll spend my life savings and not get any result I'll notice. I'd really appreciate opinions or advice.

Maybe your friend only needed subtle changes to bring her bone structure etc into female range? Or does she still look masculine after? 

No, she certainly doesn't look masculine after, but then she didn't look particularly masculine before either. It's just that I'm hoping to look different from the way I looked across all those painful years. I don't want to keep a family resemblance and from what I've seen, the best I can hope for with 'the works' is that I'll look a bit softer.

I understand but I imagine your in good hands. You should be totally passable and look as absolutely beautiful as any other surgeon could make you/what's physically possible.

Thanks for the reassurance Angel. Having slept on it I feel a bit better now. I'll let you know how it goes.