I'm currently in a relationship with the most loving boyfriend ever and he's been really supportive throughout HRT, now he's the one who's more excited for SRS. It used to be him saying "you don't need to, I still love you." And he still thinks regardless of what I do he'd still love me, but now I've sort of lost my interest in SRS and am no longer sure if I want it or not and he has begun pushing for it more. If only love and life were easy.

It has to be done for you and you alone.

Its your body and have to live with the decision. You can never go back as you are now.

Many get pushed, push back if it is something you really wish not to do.

Hugs
Isabell

Quote from: mind is quiet now on July 02, 2014, 04:05:43 PM
It has to be done for you and you alone.

Its your body and have to live with the decision. You can never go back as you are now.

Many get pushed, push back if it is something you really wish not to do.

Hugs
Isabell

Yeah, I'm still figuring things out, I mean I have such a long road to go, and I'm still young. Also your sig, I actually wrote a story using the caterpillar metaphor! You know what they say about great minds

Quote from: ThePersona on July 02, 2014, 03:45:56 PM
I'm currently in a relationship with the most loving boyfriend ever and he's been really supportive throughout HRT, now he's the one who's more excited for SRS. It used to be him saying "you don't need to, I still love you." And he still thinks regardless of what I do he'd still love me, but now I've sort of lost my interest in SRS and am no longer sure if I want it or not and he has begun pushing for it more. If only love and life were easy.

If he really loves you, he'll want what's best for you, not pressure you into a huge decision you're not comfortable with.

Full Disclosure - SRS was never on my wish list. BTW, transition never was either

OK, I have seen LOTS of unexpected changes in how I feel over the past six years of taking on the trans beast. For me, the struggle has always been (and likely will always be) about feeling better about being ME. Lots of wiggle room since I had little idea who me is, and am only now getting a handle on it.

If anything, transition is a process of growing and learning what it is to be YOU. Something you denied or hid most of your life. Worse yet, trained yourself to be something you are not. All of which makes it difficult to make long term decisions about the future. You are still growing as a person and discovering who that person is.

You BF appears to be supportive, even to the extent of being a cheerleader. Which may sound like 'Pushing' if you have been saying to him you are not sure. Now, I know it is hard, but try to think like a guy would.... First off, he probably wasn't really listening or really understands. Second, he feels he needs to be your 'Rock'. A beacon of hope and strength when you are weak or unsure. To be fair, he is also a person that knows you and cares about you and really is trying to bolster any of your self-doubts about what is right.

How well do you think you have communicated your feelings during any real discussions about this? As in the long hard I don't wanna have this talk discussion? Relationships take work to maintain. THe past 6 years have been pretty tumultuous for my wife and I. Lots of open and honest talks, and plenty of tears. All while we both try to balance getting needed feelings across vs TMI.

Quote from: JoanneB on July 04, 2014, 09:05:49 AM
How well do you think you have communicated your feelings during any real discussions about this? As in the long hard I don't wanna have this talk discussion? Relationships take work to maintain. THe past 6 years have been pretty tumultuous for my wife and I. Lots of open and honest talks, and plenty of tears. All while we both try to balance getting needed feelings across vs TMI.

To be honest we haven't been talking to each other nearly as much as when we got together, and I've always put it down to stress.

It's your body. You are the one who is going to have live with whichever decision you make. You should only get SRS if you are sure you want it, because if you have any doubts on your mind and decide to have it anyways you won't able to reverse your decision easily. However, your boyfriend may not be pressuring you or "pushing" you, I think he's just showin g his support in the best way he can , to him SRS probably means "reaching the final point" and he's excited for you that you're finally 'done' something you have put a lot of effort and hard work into. Obviously, things are not as easy and SRS doesn't necessarily mean transition is over, or vice-versa.

Do what makes you feel right and if needed, tell your boyfriend you're not sure, express your doubts - I'm sure he will understand since he cares deeply for you and - he's been with you in this roallercoster journey that transition is! So, kudos to him!! I hope you are able to figure out the best option for yourself

Best wishes