Is it illegal for me to go in the men's restroom at school? I go to the men's restroom in my school currently (but its a private school) and I go to a men's restroom in public like at restaurants and supermarket but would there be some a law that states that only males can go into the mens restroom? Or would I just have to speak to the principal? so basically all of my life during school I would hold it until I could get home because going to the bathroom was so problematic for me. When I would go into the girls bathroom everyone would go why is there a boy in here and I would just not feel comfortable in there, but then people would tell me that I'm not supposed to go into the boys bathroom. So I was very confused and scared as a child. Right now I am going to be a sophomore in high school this year for the past year I have been going to what's called a charter school which is basically a private school except the state pays for your tuition. This particular school was for bullied kids and people who need extra assistance in school so when I talk to the principal they were very welcoming to me and told me that I'll be very accommodated at their school which I was. It's a small school with about 100 students so the bathrooms that they have single rooms and they have men's and women's bathrooms but I am allowed to go into the mens room which makes me very comfortable and is very convenient for me. So the problem at my last school which was a public high school was that I was afraid to use the mens bathroom mostly because I wasnt out as trans yet even though and now I'm stealth but I still could not use the bathroom back then eventually I was so depressed that I had to go to this school that I described earlier and live as completely male. But recently I have realized that there are not as much opportunities at the small school as there are at a regular high school where they are sports clubs and basically better academic teachers the only problem with this is that I do not know if I would be allowed to use the boys bathroom which would be very important to me. I have been in the process of legally changing my name for the past month it has been paid for and the documents are all signed and my court hearing is in about a week after that my name will be legally my male name so there would be no problems in that area but I would still be identified as female in their records so what are the gender laws for this?

There is no law that currently states that trans* identified people cannot go to their bathroom of choice. Also, it could be considered discrimination if your school tries to force you into using the girls bathroom, as you do not identify as a female and they are purposefully attempting to deny you or negate your identity.

Also, I'm not entirely sure if this applies to private schools ((I think it only applies to federally or state funded schools)) But Title XI states that a school cannot discriminate against children who do not conform to their birth sex. http://transgenderlawcenter.org/archives/10249

Legality depends on where you live (country/province/state/territory). It also depends on your school's policy. There should be a student handbook that covers at least some of the policies (might not be specific to trans issues). California has a clear cut law on the topic http://www.cbsnews.com/news/california-law-allows-transgender-students-to-pick-bathrooms-sports-teams-they-identify-with/

Write a letter to the principal about your needs, think of what would be the best option for you and what you might be willing to compromise if it comes to that (some schools suggest trans students use a gender neutral bathroom).

A simple way to solve the restroom problem would be to make all public restrooms multi-user unisex facilities with adequately private stalls. It might also be possible to provide similar accomodations for locker rooms and showers.

I think if you use the boys from the start and everyone thinks your a boy there won't be a problem.

Most states do not have specific laws on this. If your community/state has some sort of LGBT center contact them and ask them to direct you. If there isn't one, contact your closest PLFLAG and see if they can direct you for assistance. The "fall back" for states is often suggesting the student use the nurse's bathroom. If you have supportive guardians to help communicate with the school, that is good. I would find out my rights prior to contacting the school. You're right that names don't matter. It is what your gender marker is.

TrojanMan, this is case where the less othesr know about your being being a transguy, the better you will be.  Do you have to take PE at this school, that could easily be a problem for you?  You are probably still have shark week every month; how do handle changing pads/tampons?  If you have been slealth since you started at this school with no one is questioning you; you are passing nicely.  Using the women's would probably create many questions and problems for you.  I am in college and use the men's for about a year with no problems.  With getting your name legally changed you will have one more thing in your favor. The laws usually apply to men's using the women's and so much the other way.

QuoteI would personally err on the side of caution and use the bathroom that matched the gender listed on my drivers license/ID card.

That must be easy for you to say, being post op, on T, and most likely out of highschool. That is just simply not an option for me, it causes way too much emotional, mental, and dysphoric pain for me. But thank you for trying to help.

Quote from: TrojanMan on June 30, 2014, 08:12:26 PM

That must be easy for you to say, being post op, on T, and most likely out of highschool. That is just simply not an option for me, it causes way too much emotional, mental, and dysphoric pain for me. But thank you for trying to help.

Personally I say if you pass 99.9% of the time don't go into the womens bathroom it can be very problematic, It was for me and I'm still in H.S I never did that again because they almost called security. Bottom line I've been in the mens bathroom with my friends, Theres no talking its in in and out thing. If your in their with other people of course. So I would say keeping using the restroom your using.

I used the men's room when I was being read as male most of the time. It still isn't 100% but no one has ever challenged me. I think you act like you know what you are doing but also if there is any idea that you aren't safe, well obviously that takes precedence.

--Jay

I get how if you are known to be "female" in high school, that you would have to use the women's bathroom. Like you said, you would really need the principle's office to keep it secret in order to function as male.

Half of high schoolers don't have a license.

Quote from: chipper on July 02, 2014, 09:23:08 AM
I don't know who this is addressed to. But in regards to my postings:

license, id card = same difference. 

The easiest way to avoid trouble is to go with the listed gender.  This thread is about public restroom laws.  If you want to talk about navigating high school bathrooms that's a whole topic in and of itself.  But with regards to public restrooms:
When in doubt, go with the gender listed on your primary form of identification. If you feel safe and know you're protected from discrimination in your locale, your listed gender is irrelevant- use whatever bathroom you want!

That can still cause problems if you pass 100% I have an ID card and we don't even have an F or M on it not that we use rhem anyways its just a bathroom.

Quote

That can still cause problems if you pass 100% I have an ID card and we don't even have an F or M on it not that we use rhem anyways its just a bathroom.

Exactly. Even when I didn't know I was trans, I always looked and acted male, I would go to the women's and get dirty looks and multiple "This is the girl's restroom!" And "There's a boy in here!" And just things like that. I've never had a single problem using the men's.

I believe by ID card chipper was referring to the ID card that is state issued (legal) as opposed to school issued (often not usable for legal matters outside of school). State and federal level Identification always has sex listed as M or F. Since this was a question on legality it makes sense to be using a legal ID card as opposed to a school issued one.

Look up laws for your state on the matter and see if you're protected. Frankly I flew under the radar once I passed well enough to make the ladies' heads turn. That's way more dangerous in my opinion. Speak to a school councilor maybe?

I would definitely go more on safety and what gender most strangers read you as than on any existing local laws. People are not likely to object if nothing seems amiss.

I understand that isn't easy, and most of us spend a significant amount of time not being reliably read as one gender or the other. I am not you, but if I were, I would try to speak privately with administrators at your school about what you are doing. If they resist allowing you to use the restroom you prefer, then contact local lgbt organizations for advice and don't be afraid to stand up for what you feel you need. In most places, there aren't a lot of official rules about this, and you can help shape any that come into being.

Quote from: TrojanMan on July 05, 2014, 12:35:54 AM
Exactly. Even when I didn't know I was trans, I always looked and acted male, I would go to the women's and get dirty looks and multiple "This is the girl's restroom!" And "There's a boy in here!" And just things like that. I've never had a single problem using the men's.

Me to I just say go to the one your less problematic at because like I said when you go in the mens bathroom no ones chatting like girls do. And I swear when I used to go into the girls they'd be standing there and givin dirty looks cuz like I said one time security almost got called.

I don't think there are a lot of specific laws, and sad to say most of them are thinking of trans women not trans men. We are a lot under the radar. I'd say that any municipality that has wanted to make a law like that has never contemplated some muscley tattooed trans man coming into the women's room.
It would have made an interesting protest.

I don't think in any case school kids are included. It's usually the individual school. (In CA there is a law protecting trans kids). Many schools have made accommodations without a lot of attention others have not and the kid ends up having to use the nurse's office.

If you have no/little problem in the men's, you can go ahead and use. I don't think anyone will challenge you. I've heard of bad stories but they are as often in the women's room actually.


--Jay

I've actually used women's rest rooms all my life including when I was in high school. I always sat/sit down to pee anyway, and never had a problem. However, I have had problems when trying to use the men's room. By some I've been given, well, let us just say flashes with rude propositions, also, I've been chased out of more than one by angry men who thought a woman was invading their sacred domain (no offense intended guys) most likely because I always looked more like a girl than a guy. Now, my Driver's License reflects my gender as female so if laws are passed I'm protected until I have my SRS anyway.

Ally

Quote from: Allyda on July 05, 2014, 10:31:34 PM
I've actually used women's rest rooms all my life including when I was in high school. I always sat/sit down to pee anyway, and never had a problem. However, I have had problems when trying to use the men's room. By some I've been given, well, let us just say flashes with rude propositions, also, I've been chased out of more than one by angry men who thought a woman was invading their sacred domain (no offense intended guys) most likely because I always looked more like a girl than a guy. Now, my Driver's License reflects my gender as female so if laws are passed I'm protected until I have my SRS anyway.

Ally

I can sort of see why you might be kicked out of a men's room. OTOH, I would never even notice. I do the don't look, don't say anything rule.

--Jay