Hello ladies, so its month 8 post op for me and everything seems goin good but I still have not been able to orgasm at all.. Should I start to worry or should I try something else , ive been intimate with my man and although Ive been very close when hes gone down I never get there.. Ive never masturbated or done even have toys should I try that..??
Please advise.. Thank you.

Surgery with Dr Bowers..

Not the best expert but here is my thought. I would say try it yourself and see . if you succeed then you know you are not at fault.

My mother once took me aside and told me she didnt want me to do like my dad. She literally had to teach my dad how to give an orgasm to a woman. It took her decades to find the courage to say it to him.

It can take up to 2 yrs for nerve endings to fully connect. It was a year before I connected up :-) Give it time.

I am also one of Dr. Bower's girls, and it was about month eleven and a half that my clitoris once again began to have sensations I could relate to touch pleasure in the "O" territory, at month 18 it is still fine tuning itself, but it's making progress. 

As far as honest to gosh Orgasms though, I have had several all on my own, but they are FAR DIFFERENT from what I knew as a male.  My body as a whole must be involved and put together for getting the O.  My first O type sensation involving my vagina was at about month 3 right after I had gone down to two dilations per day.  It basically involved rubbing the curved end of the Dilator in and out with pressure above the inside of the vagina near the front, and even twisting it completely 360 degrees.  I was able that way to get a fluid discharge from my urethra that was close to an ejaculation sensation.  I had massaged the G-spot without realizing what I had done.  The first time felt more like a urinary accident, but then I identified what it was. 

Use your dilator as if it were a sex toy, that is fine, and another surgeon calls it Dynamic Dilation.  Since you are at one time per day by now, take the time to possibly even do your hair up, and wiggle around a bit in a sexy nightie before doing your dilation.  Have your BF with you as you do it, and maybe let him "take the controls" and just relax as he does it . Or let him have his try and then finish a longer session with your green or orange friend. You have the longer staying power. 

Set a mood for doing it, and let your fantasy run wild . Your nerve healing and re-orientation will take time still, but it keeps getting better.  Not all orgasms are created equal, and none are what we used to know as male.  I have used an electrical "toy" a few times, including one I can hold in my hand with the dilator that makes me giggle and my nose wrinkle.   

Do call Dr. Bower's office if you are still worried, Robin is great about helping with this stuff and even the new nurse in their San Mateo office is able to help plenty.  Another Sister of ours had her surgery back 4 months ago and she is very happy over the help and response they give her. 

It was almost exactly a year before I was able to orgasm.

It took me over a year before I got my first orgasm. And still after two years there was significant changes and development in my nerve sensitivity.

What ever you do, try not to start to worry! That if something will make it harder.
I was getting worried thou... but then it happened when I was not expecting it and not trying too much to get it.
For me it´s definitely easiest to reach orgasm with a vibrator. So I would recommend that. 
I also found techniques of tension and relax of the pelvic area very helpful, but that again might be very personal.

Good luck!

Thank you girls, I will wait and will try and get some toys hopefully I can get things goin..!

If I may suggest, take your time, try a bunch of things, have fun exploring and learning about your body as it now is. Also, I'm told that orgasm after SRS is a lot more mental, and am definitely finding that to be true - before HRT I could be in a horrible mood and still get off, while after SRS I have to be in the right mindset (I can't speak to the period on HRT before SRS because I had no libido then.) Another change I found was that sexual activity without orgasm is quite enjoyable now and I'm okay with it, while before HRT all of that was merely lead-up to orgasm and insignificant.

Have you had a sleep orgasm yet? I'm 9 months post-op and I haven't been awake for an orgasm yet. However, at about 6 months post-op, my brain started making up for it while I sleep 

I actually have had a sleep orgasm, only once though and it woke me right up so that tells me is possible just curious why it hasnt happen during sex...

You may need to become expertly acquainted with your own body to know what tickles it, before you can guide a third party to perform the tickling. I think your lack of diy is definitely contributing to your lack of success so far. I think most cis women know their bodies inside out before their eventual first encounter. No, you don't need to start worrying at all. Prescription: Get a vibrator and start exploring! Oh, and you may add some visual stimulant to get you stimulated, if required.

Experimenting alot has worked for me ive had a couple of orgsams in my sleep very weird and after bring my self to orgsam ive then tried going to sleep and had further orgsams with out stimulation.

one thing I found was if I wanted to orgsam I couldnt best just let your body do it when its ready .

xx

By now you do not have to be afraid of what you have, you ARE that well healed that you need not be timid about exploring yourself.  I speak as one who was so darn anxious about my new stuff that I was afraid to touch myself until about a year.  As said above, explore yourself, and treat your dilator like a "toy" and it will help. 

I was at a resort hotel last week and used their hot tub for my first time Post, and one stream of the hydro jets got me dead center guess where!!  I could have stayed there for hours, but the feeling got too intense. oh my!!  Whoaaa!!! A bit later, when I did actually begin to dilate, touch anywhere near my clitoris really shook things up, as if the entire vulva was now involved.  Time dear, time.

As a guy who's lived female bodied for most his life, I can tell two things straight-up--- 1) Its difficult. For female orgasm, you need to be in the right mood, with the right stimulus, and have some time because it can take from just a few minutes to quite a while to make it happen. And lube- even if you secrete your own sex-goo, if all you've got is fingers and toys, beware of chafing!   2) Very few females orgasm during sex. Very few. Although the stats on that might be different for transwomen. That's the point of foreplay- because women get off on the oral part, mostly.

The thing with female orgasm, and after SRS in our case is what worked for us in the past may not work for you now.
Before I started HRT, I was able to "knock one out" almost after 3 tugs, I started HRT and things changed, it took more work to get in the mood, it took less thinking about the end result.
After SRS I had to learn what worked. For me the underside of the head of my penis was my spot, I made sure to make a point of that when talking to my doctor before hand.

Now, boy can I orgasm, but there are also times when I'll have a small tiny one that can put a smile on my face, a big one where I can't walk for a little while after it and there are times when I do everything right, but it just doesn't happen.
Learn your body, get relaxed, play around, don't force it and remember there isn't a right way.

Try up & down rubbing, try going around clockwise or anti-clockwise, try humping pillows, showerheads.

The best thing about re-learning how to orgasm is the trying

My first was literally two years to the day. july 4th 2012 was my surgery(my independence day) and july 4th 2014 I decided to try one more time to see if it was possible and wham!! it was and wow was it worth the wait! I have about 6 more times since then but I have noticed that without very liberal amounts of lube on clit area the next day I feel like I have blisters all over down their that have popped(lack of a better metaphore on my part)

Update!!! Lol
I was just intimate with a diffrent guy old BF os out the door and this one was OMG good!!! Well I felt really taken care of and we did not even used lube it was all me and him juices..!! Lol but Im not sure if I orgasmed but it sure felt like it at the end the sheets where supet wet could i have had an orgasmmm..? Sorry for the TMI ladies...

One of the first I had when I started HRT, had actually nothing to do with my sexual parts, it was intense. I basically came out of desire and anticipation, and a slight delicate touching of my breasts and perky nipples, almost a tease. So from there I knew that a female orgasm was a good part about the hormones and the feelings of arousal, and the more you feel aroused the closer you are to orgasm, Because your orgasm is basically your arousal exploding and sending waves of pleasure, and it is just wow.. I mean it.

But I really need to be in a mood, sometimes playing as if someone is teasing me works. That's how I got the breasts orgasm, I wanted sex so bad..  and yet I never got it but still came lol.

Of course that's how I roll, I always loved this kind of play, because my desire just rage like rawr!

From memory, i think i read on McGinn's website SRS reduces the physical nerves down to approx 10% so although rewiring process occurs, anyone who has had the op will be rebuilding on the 10% nerves left. I think all these orgasm questions and other concerns should be directed to the surgeons so they are aware of the progress of their own work and they can guide the patient with the appropriate advice.