Quote from: Pikachu on July 05, 2014, 08:32:13 AM
I've been thinking a lot about killing myself... Imagining all the different ways I could do it... Sometimes I really don't know what's stopping me. Not much, I don't think. Sometimes I think the only reason I don't go through with it is because I don't live alone, and I don't want to put anyone through the trauma of finding my corpse. I'd feel bad about that. Too bad there isn't some way to completely disappear without a trace.

Hey, you know I'm always here when stuff gets bad.  Search me out.  Misery and depression sucks but it can be a little more tolerable when you have someone to talk to.

Hip bone reduction surgery would be fantastic if it was possible without the risk of making it impossible for you to ever walk again.

Quote from: learningtolive on July 05, 2014, 12:51:00 PM
What am I doing with my life?  I often reflect on this with so much self disappointment.  All the things I wanted to accomplish.  All the things I wanted to overcome.  All the things I wanted to experience.  The life I wanted for myself.  At 25, it all seems so much more far away and unlikely for things to change from my current course.  Sometimes you come to realization that this is what life is and you just have to accept it.  And the worst part is no matter how messed up my past was and no matter how many people hurt me or took advantage of me, there really is no one to blame other than myself.  Sure, there were things and people that set me back, but it was inability to overcome things that lays everything all on me.  When it's all said and done, the life I wanted doesn't exist because of me, not just cause of an unfortunate set of circumstances.  And despite this realization, I don't see myself changing for the better.  I'm just going to live in the moment as usual and wonder where my overall dreams and hopes went knowing all too well they died by my own hand and out of fear of change and the unknown. Sorry just had to get this out somewhere.

This is so much like what women becoming middle aged go through and also at the onset of menopause. Been there myself and after all you are on female HRT so welcome to women's world honey.

Quote from: christopher on July 05, 2014, 12:06:58 PM
oh! I am wondering if trans* people have a higher rate of abuse histories. And I'm not talking about those related to being trans but more coming from families that should not have been allowed to breed.

No. There's a high rate of abuse histories in general.
If those people never bred, I would not exist and many people I am fond of would not exist. I'm glad we do.

This is interesting. I was invited to a bbq and it was actually at my therapist's mother's house and my mother flipped when she found out my therapist was someone she knows. Small world indeed xD

This is the second time I had to put on the bunny rabbit suit for a birthday party.  I had a lot of fun, but it was hot under there.  I was sweating as if I was jogging, and even then I didn't really sweat when I would run.  The kids loved it.  They grabbed my hands and wanted me to dance with him and a few kids poked at my eyes.  >.>  The birthday kid wanted me to play with the ball with him.  I could hardly see with that suit on, so I couldn't catch it half the time lol.  Well, since Anime Expo is going on right now, why not dedicate the cosplay bunny to it.  To cosplay!

Quote from: King Malachite on July 05, 2014, 04:08:15 PM
This is the second time I had to put on the bunny rabbit suit for a birthday party.  I had a lot of fun, but it was hot under there.  I was sweating as if I was jogging, and even then I didn't really sweat when I would run.  The kids loved it.  They grabbed my hands and wanted me to dance with him and a few kids poked at my eyes.  >.>  The birthday kid wanted me to play with the ball with him.  I could hardly see with that suit on, so I couldn't catch it half the time lol.  Well, since Anime Expo is going on right now, why not dedicate the cosplay bunny to it.  To cosplay!

You know, my mind went into the gutter when i saw bunny suit xD

Quote from: birkin on July 05, 2014, 12:27:35 PM
I am also thinking that this cold totally blows.

I'm on like day...6? I am officially fed up with it.

Quote from: Edge on July 05, 2014, 03:18:30 PM
No. There's a high rate of abuse histories in general.
If those people never bred, I would not exist and many people I am fond of would not exist. I'm glad we do.

that did not come out like I meant it to. I am glad you exist. I am becoming glad I exist.

I know there is a high rate of abuse but I do feel like I'm bumping into more of the seriously f'ckd up stuff here than I do in some other social groups.

I think we're just more open about it here since this is a support forum.

My 84 year old father said yesterday on a road trip said that he was pleased when I joined the military as when I was a 17 year old, I was too reserved and too much like my mother.   I said that it did change me and that I would have been very different today if I hadn't made this decision.  I said that it was my decision and I owned it.

However, it stopped me from telling him I was non binary ... The moment I had been seeking, was lost.

Aisla

the new lyrics i wrote are my best and angriest yet. maybe because i wrote about certain people i don't need in my life. Outsiders might call them passive-aggressive and mean-spirited, but this was an attempt to let off some steam.

Kind of surprised i can even write like that (moodwise) but that's how it is.

So I brought GTA Vice City for the PS2 and the poster of the beach babe that comes along with it has stains on her body.  I'd like to think that they just coffee stains.


I'd like to think that....I really hope that's all it is.

Quote from: King Malachite on July 05, 2014, 07:01:18 PM
So I brought GTA Vice City for the PS2 and the poster of the beach babe that comes along with it has stains on her body.  I'd like to think that they just coffee stains.


I'd like to think that....I really hope that's all it is.

Vice City rules!

I will be so glad when this stupid poison ivy is cleared up. It's been really annoying.

Quote from: King Malachite on July 05, 2014, 07:01:18 PM
So I brought GTA Vice City for the PS2 and the poster of the beach babe that comes along with it has stains on her body.  I'd like to think that they just coffee stains.


I'd like to think that....I really hope that's all it is.

GTA VICE CITY!
My ex-girlfriend just texted me out of the blue...

Vice City is the best GTA game made in my opinion. 

I need to learn to relax and enjoy the present instead of worrying about the past and future.

Quote from: King Malachite on July 05, 2014, 08:48:32 PM
Vice City is the best GTA game made in my opinion. 

I concur. The scenery, main character and songs on the radio were the best.

mad at myself

I want to create an Official Evelyn's favorite gummy bear flavor thread! but not sure where.

Quote from: Blue Senpai on July 05, 2014, 08:55:59 PM
I concur. The scenery, main character and songs on the radio were the best.

The radio stations are what really tipped the scale for me.....that and Tommy Vercetti's Hawaiian shirt.  I love Hawaiian shirts!   





I wonder what Tony Hawk's stance is on gay marriage.