has everyone who has dysphoria started out cross dressing . for me I started at 4 and after quite awhile of finally perfecting my dressing came to the conclusion that this wasn't the solution and the only way to try to help myself was through hormones , to actually change myself physically to match the wardrobe.

I went through a phase during puberty but it passed, since I realized it did nothing for my personal dysphoria.

Quote from: Tori on July 05, 2014, 07:33:40 PM
I went through a phase during puberty but it passed, since I realized it did nothing for my personal dysphoria.

that's what happened to me it just took longer.

I started cross dressing when I was really young as well. I didn't know why at the time, I just sort of did it. I sorta became a clepto, anything that was cute and girly I had to have, couldn't stop myself. I played around a wee bit with makeup and stuff but was terrified of getting caught so didn't do it very much.

A few years ago I learned how to feminize myself thru stuffs and did that. Didn't really think about it too hard, just sort of had to do it. Then I found this place and read a ton of posts and was like, "hmm, some of this sounds familar"..uh oh lol!

Quote from: LivingTheDream on July 05, 2014, 08:09:09 PM
I started cross dressing when I was really young as well. I didn't know why at the time, I just sort of did it. I sorta became a clepto, anything that was cute and girly I had to have, couldn't stop myself. I played around a wee bit with makeup and stuff but was terrified of getting caught so didn't do it very much.

A few years ago I learned how to feminize myself thru stuffs and did that. Didn't really think about it too hard, just sort of had to do it. Then I found this place and read a ton of posts and was like, "hmm, some of this sounds familar"..uh oh lol!

yea it's pretty amazing the reaction you have when you first start reading all the posts.

I spent over 40 years cross-dressing every day except for the few I found to dress as the real me. Then I transitioned.   

Quote from: stephaniec on July 05, 2014, 08:23:19 PM
yea it's pretty amazing the reaction you have when you first start reading all the posts.

I'll second that! I started reading and this little voice in the back of my head started tapping me on the shoulder saying "HEY! HEY! You see this?! This is whats going on!" Lol it certainly woke me up, I couldn't lie to myself anymore

Quote from: Jane's Sweet Refrain on July 05, 2014, 08:28:22 PM
I spent over 40 years cross-dressing every day except for the few I found to dress as the real me. Then I transitioned.   

I started really early in life but with the denial and purging and finally the money to totally do it right I got to a place I thought I had solved the problem and gave up for quite awhile. It came back with a sledge hammer and hormones.

I don't think it did start with crossdressing for me, aside from shoes. Really my first memories relate to playing make believe/imaginary games where I'd play along to something (like a cartoon) and pretend to be the female character. Then it was makeup, I wore makeup to school but made sure it was just light enough to not be obvious (mostly concealer to hide bad under eye darkness I've always had), until the day my mother caught on and asked why I was wearing makeup. She actually didn't flip or anything and seemed pretty much ok with it, but I didn't do it for a long time again after that.

Actually I think crossdressing makes my dysphoria worse rather than better. It's one of those stumbling points where I feel like I don't "fit in", the problem is with my body and it's just kind of depressing seeing my broad shoulders and narrow hips  So I don't really do it.

Quote from: Erem on July 05, 2014, 08:46:21 PM
Actually I think crossdressing makes my dysphoria worse rather than better. It's one of those stumbling points where I feel like I don't "fit in", the problem is with my body and it's just kind of depressing seeing my broad shoulders and narrow hips  So I don't really do it.

I have the same problem, regardless of how right it feels when I'm dressed I can't look in a mirror at all. Or really at any part of my body that looks "male". If I see myself in a mirror my dysphoria really kicks in and I can freak out pretty easily.

Quote from: Erem on July 05, 2014, 08:46:21 PM
I don't think it did start with crossdressing for me, aside from shoes. Really my first memories relate to playing make believe/imaginary games where I'd play along to something (like a cartoon) and pretend to be the female character. Then it was makeup, I wore makeup to school but made sure it was just light enough to not be obvious (mostly concealer to hide bad under eye darkness I've always had), until the day my mother caught on and asked why I was wearing makeup. She actually didn't flip or anything and seemed pretty much ok with it, but I didn't do it for a long time again after that.

Actually I think crossdressing makes my dysphoria worse rather than better. It's one of those stumbling points where I feel like I don't "fit in", the problem is with my body and it's just kind of depressing seeing my broad shoulders and narrow hips  So I don't really do it.

This is totally me too, even with the makeup at school (and reasons for using it) and being caught by mum lol. I have really high standards and kind of feel like I don't deserve to dress totally female until I look good and passable enough. I currently at least look really good up to my chest, but I hate my male pec's, shoulders and face as it currently is, if see them while dressed (for therapy, endo etc) I really hate it and it freaks me out too. To me it highlights what I'm not, rather than helping with disphoria. I just do a few subtle things to help me feel better and more feminine, and work on my attitude, gestures, voice etc for when I do transition socially and help maybe subtly plant the seed in the minds of others around me in preparation for that, well that's my devious plan anyway lol (cue sinister laugh), and that seems to work for me.

At 4 years of age I began my attempt to wear the right clothes, girls clothes. So I wore my sister's stuff every chance I got.

But my parents caught wind of it and made me crossdress by wearing boys clothes...ugh for years I crossdressed in boys clothes.

No more!

Interesting how many of us started so young.  I can remember somewhere around 4 or 5 wearing a t-shirt like a skirt (I didn't have a sister to steal clothes from), and I actually used a rubber band to tuck.  How in the world does that even occur to a 4 year old!?

When I was little and we played an imaginary type game i always wanted to be the female character... e.g. playing house, i always wanted to be the mommy.

I did not try on any female clothing until i was 14.. i tried on a pair of black pantyhose and loved how it felt.. at 16 or 17, i got a blue cheerleader skirt. i loved wearing that... i still have it.. but it does not fit anymore, due hrt widening my hips.

I was 19 when i wore makeup, shaved my legs, wore high heel shoes and dressed fully as a woman.. i remember how amazing and right it felt for me.. that was the first time really felt.. i am actually a woman. I even got my ears pierced later than same year.. both ears like a lady. I remember how great it felt, to me getting both ears pierced was so feminine. i got them done with a needle.. and when the needle went in, i was so excited.. back then, my shaved legs and earrings were signs of my womanhood.

Also at 19 I began to enjoy wearing panties more than male underwear and would wear panties under my male clothing and I often wore clear nail polish on my toes as i wore socks under my shoes, i needed to feel something feminine the whole time  At 20 i started counseling which lead to hrt and i came out as trans.

When I was five to eight years old I took my mom shoes, but that is how far I took crossdressing. When I turn thirteen my cousins (girls) left behind clothes in my house before they left to another state. I used that opportunity to put girls clothes on at night. At that time I almost got caught by my stepdad. I wore skirts, dresses, jeans, blouse, tops, and anything else I can find. Unfortunately, my stepdad throw all those clothes away.

The next time I crossdress was when I was fourteen and fifteen. That was when I slept in my sister room when she was someplace else. I shouldn't have, but I decided to try on some of her jeans, shirts, skirts, dresses, tops, etc...

When I turn nineteen, I got up the courage to inside target, Walmart, Burlington coat factory, to shop for girls clothes. I wasted a lot of money brought clothes that actually fit. Not like the clothes I sneak around and tried on in my past. By that time at age nineteen I let my immediate family know that I was a transsexual and my intentions to one day transition. So it was not a huge surprise to them. However they were shock when I wore girls clothes in public and around the house. they are still getting used to seeing like this. Its been three years and am 22 now.

Not too long ago I decided to go to an all girl department like JC Penny, Macy and so forth. I was afraid to do so because only girls are suppose to go to stores like that. Plus that where they have the most feminine clothes all for themselves. None of the clothes I had was good enough for me. There were a bit of problems shopping, but my positive experience outweighs my negative experience. Now I have good clothing to wear and been crossdressing for some time now.

its too bad that I did not have anyone to shop with me and help me find clothes. I have no friends or family willing to go with me. Although on a side note I feel more confident going into stores and getting what I want. I had a fun time trying on things that I like.

Hi,
Me, I have started out cross dressing. With make up and all things to give me more feminine. Why ? It is a necessity, it is me, I feel so good like that and I hate more each day my all boy stuff. And yes, I am probably not enough female because of my shape. I am impatient to change all and to get surgeries. I am not 100% time like a girl, but I make progress.
The most important is, for me, how I feel and no how people feel about me.
Take care,
Hannah

Hi Kitty,

Quote from: HelloKitty on July 05, 2014, 10:09:57 PM
At 4 years of age I began my attempt to wear the right clothes, girls clothes. So I wore my sister's stuff every chance I got.

But my parents caught wind of it and made me crossdress by wearing boys clothes...ugh for years I crossdressed in boys clothes.

No more!

Your attitude to this whole journey hasn't gone unnoticed. That in fact is the right answer. You're obviously born with a girls brain and by an inappropriate convention, forced to crossdress as a boy.

You can take that one step further and say you tried to "pass" as a boy, someone you clearly were not. No more passing, no more crossdressing; glad to hear it.

Huggs
Catherine

Quote from: Erem on July 05, 2014, 08:46:21 PM
Actually I think crossdressing makes my dysphoria worse rather than better.

I can relate to this, sort of... 

Crossdressing in itself was such a relief for me, I could hardly stop looking at myself and those times were nice because I really felt relief and was finally happy with how I looked.  I still love how I look fully dressed.  The catch, for me anyway, was the constant de-transition.  Taking everything back off and going back into boy mode was, and still is, soul crushing.

 

I think we all started out crossdressing either by mistake or running out of clean underwear and or a number of things or something we felt we had to do and so on. To me it was not as much a stress relief as much as it felt perfectly normal. No sexual rush at all from it or stress relief. I just felt... normal and natural.

I started as an androgynous genderqueer identified person who wore makeup and girls clothes but made no attempt to pass...