I'm sitting in my favorite Starbucks today waiting for my therapist appointment and I go to the counter to order and notice my reflection in the glass and saw how noticeable my breasts have gotten. I wear a stretch skin tight jacket.  this is a place that I know everyone and was one of the places I don't wear a dress or make up because of the fear of the reaction from people I've know for a long time. I go back and sit down at my computer and see my face in the web cam and start freaking because my face has gotten more feminine then I thought or admitted too. I had a short meltdown. It's for the better though because I need to make that final move in the few places I haven't worn a dress. I just so need to be me. just thought I'd post something more positive and hopeful for others. Changes do happen no matter how small when  you don't expect it.

Lol go for it lol smile be happy

Keep your head up, girl.

I'm so glad that we are apart of this community together. You were one of the first members that drew my eye around this place and I've enjoyed watching your story evolve.

It's interesting how we need a pile of changes so that we can suddenly notice them ourselves. I'm glad your moment came :-) .

Make sure you smile, make sure you smile :-) .

And best wishes for your final move!

Nice thing to read, not the uncomfortable part but the fact that you are knocking down those last barriers to becoming the real you everywhere.  I can only hope I do as well when my time arrives.  Thanks     Dani

I have been being pushed by my body more and more... I mean my breasts are getting like large, I am not sure how possible it will be to hide. Like, right now I am wearing a sports bra with one of those like compression shirts, and a bit 3xl shirt over top of it all at work (I look ridiculous in a shirt that covers most of my thighs) and I mean, it is still pretty noticeable, makes me wonder where I am gonna be at in 6 months, much less the 13 months that would be my original time frame for going full time.

I guess the best thing to do is just roll with it, I certainly won't complain about feminization, especially when there are those who are not nearly so lucky as I have been with HRT.

Quote from: PoeticHeart on July 08, 2014, 01:24:39 PM
Keep your head up, girl.

I'm so glad that we are apart of this community together. You were one of the first members that drew my eye around this place and I've enjoyed watching your story evolve.

thanks

Hi Stephanie.  Good for you! When the time is right the time will be right

Quote from: Hikari on July 08, 2014, 04:20:05 PM
I have been being pushed by my body more and more... I mean my breasts are getting like large, I am not sure how possible it will be to hide. Like, right now I am wearing a sports bra with one of those like compression shirts, and a bit 3xl shirt over top of it all at work (I look ridiculous in a shirt that covers most of my thighs) and I mean, it is still pretty noticeable, makes me wonder where I am gonna be at in 6 months, much less the 13 months that would be my original time frame for going full time.

I guess the best thing to do is just roll with it, I certainly won't complain about feminization, especially when there are those who are not nearly so lucky as I have been with HRT.

Kinds of the same thing for me, Hikari.  I'm doing better from HRT than I ever dared to even hope, ie I expected nothing.  My original FT plan was March 2016, now I'm wondering if I can make it to March 2015 . It's getting harder and harder mentally too.

Good for you Steph. Those final barriers can sometimes be challenging as we always save the hardest for last, but once they're down you'll be completely free to be you. And I can say from experience, it's a wonderfully feminine feeling!

Ally

I second what Allyda said.

It is kind of scary when "that" moment arrives and you suddenly realize that you are skating on thin ice and borrowed time.

I am kind of shocked that no one at work has said anything yet..... but people have been smiling at me and have been going out of their way to be nice to me lately - maybe the only person I am fooling is myself at this point?

I am about at the limit of what my baggy button down shirts + undershirt can hide. Its a good thing that I am about to start the process of changing my name because the gig is just about up.

Congratulations, it can be a scary moment when you realize that you have changed so much you realize that former identity is dissapearing and you can no longer use to protect yourself from the outside world. I was looking at some pictures of me from this christmas when i was not out to my entire family. I was kidding myself to think nothing was noticeable. My breasts were bulging out my shirt even with sports bra and two heavy shirts and even the way I was sitting was overly feminine like I just got out of finishing school.

Changes creep up on people all the time.  Progress photos are important for keeping track of changes.

I looked at a recent family photo and compared my face to older photos - subtle changes are there, even on low dose.

Quote from: luna nyan on July 09, 2014, 08:05:58 AM
Changes creep up on people all the time.  Progress photos are important for keeping track of changes.

I looked at a recent family photo and compared my face to older photos - subtle changes are there, even on low dose.

I have daily photos from my web cam from pre HRT to the present , but I don't like looking at the pre stuff or even any thing before my avatar picture. I'm waiting for as much improvement as I can get to start comparing all the pictures. I've got 9 months worth so far. It's going to be fun when I'm satisfied with how I look and then start comparing the daily voyage

Breasts..!  For sure, lol.  I'm finding it difficult to want to sleep on my tummy now, do to the subtle chest ache from the pressure on them.  I've occasionally brush them against something and ouch! Fking ouch! Lol.  But even still, I absolutely love them.  They may be just a small A cup at the moment, but I am so proud of them.  ^_^ I'm not full time yet, just once in awhile when I'm feeling it.  And omg..I have so many people make the mistake of saying hello ma'am ..(pause) sir.  It makes me blush and gush, because it means I am passing more as a female from looks to mannerisms.  I've finally told most all of my family and being trans and mostly everyone has either agreed I should take this step or at least said they'd still love me no matter what.

Quote from: Eva Marie on July 08, 2014, 11:17:06 PM. . . but people have been smiling at me and have been going out of their way to be nice to me lately - maybe the only person I am fooling is myself at this point?

I'm convinced that there's a point where we don't look female at first glance, but the slight changes that have taken place are subconsciously visible to other people, even though we outwardly look pretty much the same as before.  They don't notice it either, but it causes them to treat us in slightly different ways.  You may well be far further on than that, but it's definitely the case that people's behavior changes long before they're actually told what's going on.