I was working at my computer on a hobby of mine and listening to music with female singers. I saw my skirt, my smooth legs, the spaghetti straps on my tank top. From head to toe I was a girl. It was like all the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle suddenly fitting together. I was a girl and no one could tell me otherwise. Not my penis, not the fact that I haven't started HRT. No I was a girl. It was a very powerful, very amazing feeling. I must have managed to stay in that place (I don't know if that's the right word) for at least an hour.

I've had moments like that too, where it's like a burst of clarity about who I am and why I feel the way I do! It's also reassuring for sure!

To a williams,
   So you are a genetic male but feel like a girl but not yet on HRT. Sexually, what gender do you prefer now and what gender do you think you will want when you transition? Just wondering for my own figuring out.

I see aspects of both in my personality, but I want to present as a girl. As of right now for sexuality I'm a lesbian. I would rather experience lesbian acts than straight acts. I'm even embracing things like sitting down to pee. I was surprised how much of a difference it made to me after fully embracing it. Standing to pee is now gross to me.

It is a wonderful feeling, isn't it? I wish I could feel that way all the time. Maybe if I never had to open my mouth and hear my deep voice or look in a mirror... *sigh*

Can definitely relate. The first time I had that huge click moment was when I realized there was no turning back and suddenly even going to work in male clothes just felt awful. The idea of being a guy now feels so foreign even when I have to go stealth. As far as I know, I cross-dress to work xD

It's a great realization to know you can be yourself as you are without needing validation from others.

Definitely had those times. Not on HRT yet either, but I've had times where I am dressed and it's just such a relief. Knowing I will be going on HRT has helped too, but the wait is such a strain...
Just wish I could dress all the places I go. Oh well, to the future.

I actually enjoy the mirror in the morning. Since I'm trying to hold on to Ashley mode as long as possible, I sleep in my girly outfits. I wear contacts, but not to bed so when I see myself in the mirror, the blurriness hides all my male faults. All I see is a blurry version of the girl I would like to be.

Quote from: Pikachu on July 09, 2014, 02:59:23 AM
It is a wonderful feeling, isn't it? I wish I could feel that way all the time. Maybe if I never had to open my mouth and hear my deep voice or look in a mirror... *sigh*

I haven't quite hit that point yet. I would love to be able to wear skirts and dresses to work, but I still have plenty of guy mode left. I don't like being stealth, but it doesn't seem to unusual. The bathroom is the worst though. Its the wrong bathroom. I can't pee standing up anymore so I have to sit down. I'm a little conscious about not having an excuse to pee sitting down. However I've had plenty of times where I thought I needed to do both and only ended up peeing. So its irrational fear. There is more to it than being caught though. I just don't belong in there.

Quote from: FairyHime on July 09, 2014, 03:38:19 AM
Can definitely relate. The first time I had that huge click moment was when I realized there was no turning back and suddenly even going to work in male clothes just felt awful. The idea of being a guy now feels so foreign even when I have to go stealth. As far as I know, I cross-dress to work xD

It's a great realization to know you can be yourself as you are without needing validation from others.

I would love to do that as well. I saw the women's clothing department and I felt the need to unleash myself in that area as Ashley, but I didn't.

Quote from: ChelseaAnn on July 09, 2014, 07:24:23 AM
Definitely had those times. Not on HRT yet either, but I've had times where I am dressed and it's just such a relief. Knowing I will be going on HRT has helped too, but the wait is such a strain...
Just wish I could dress all the places I go. Oh well, to the future.