When I was trying to find a way forward through crisis point gender dysphoria, an internet search turned up this online book.

I read it and reread it, and I thought about what transitioning would entail, and I continued thinking for about six months.  I am very glad I took the time because I started transitioning with no expectations, aware of what I was potentially going to lose and realistic about what my life will be like on the other side.

Yet I never see it mentioned here.

Did anyone else read it? Don't be put off by the title

http://tgchatroom.com/wiki/index.php/So_You_Want_To_Be_a_T-Girl_(Chapter_1)

Yes, I believe I read parts of it (looks familiar, but I can't be sure).

If it's the book I think it is, I think its view of transition was WAY too bleak and severe.

Quote from: suzifrommd on July 10, 2014, 06:23:42 AM
Yes, I believe I read parts of it (looks familiar, but I can't be sure).

If it's the book I think it is, I think its view of transition was WAY too bleak and severe.

It probably is the one you are thinking of.. I don't agree with it's outlook. I'm a mod on that site and I'm forever talking about it...

Thanks for sharing!

Yes, I did and next chapters are even more severe than the first one. There are many useful points and that approach of "no nonsense, straight true in ya face" has some kind of appeal, but there are other things I disagree with. But yeah, it was a useful read, nevertheless.

Suzi and Emily

I agree it's bleak, but knowing the worst case scenario makes the reality easier.  Transition has been far easier than I had expected it to be in many ways, so I think it's worth a read.

Kelly

Controversial, eh?

Wednesday

Don't mention it!

Wow.  Sped read through the first chapter.

I found the picture bleak, and the tone condescending.  The points made however, are quite valid.

Now bells are going to be triggering...

QuoteAll the girls want to hear is that the life of a transsexual is all roses and laughter, silk and tight corsets, having fun playing girl, and wearing sexy lingerie.

Lol sorry i tried but i stopped reading right there. barf. I don't even wanna be reminded there are people that would agree with that statement seriously transitioning...

A friend of mine sent me a link to that and I read through it.

I found it extremely bleak.

It is one person's experience/opinion. I'm quite sure that the part that sad panda quoted is what some people expect going into a transition, and it is unfortunate that those people may find the experience very different than they were expecting. It is also unfortunate that some people find themselves destitute and having to make hard choices after transitioning.

But not everyone that transitions finds themselves standing on street corners looking for the next meal. The main lesson I took from that writing is to be prepared and to be realistic about what may happen afterward if the chips don't fall your way.

Transitioning is not something that a person does lightly on a lark. I'd hazard a guess that for many of us it is pretty much the last resort we have before pulling our own plug.  No one wants to be a transsexual. No one in their right mind would choose to be a transsexual.

My advice is to take that story with a grain of salt, and go into a transition with your eyes wide open.

Quote from: Eva Marie on July 10, 2014, 08:35:36 AM


But not everyone that transitions finds themselves standing on street corners looking for the next meal. The main lesson I took from that writing is to be prepared and to be realistic about what may happen afterward if the chips don't fall your way.

Transitioning is not something that a person does lightly on a lark. I'd hazard a guess that for many of us it is pretty much the last resort we have before pulling our own plug.  No one wants to be a transsexual. No one in their right mind would choose to be a transsexual.

My advice is to take that story with a grain of salt, and go into a transition with your eyes wide open.

Yes, absolutely that.  I think it's intentionally bleak and intentionally extreme, so you transition as a last resort and with a realistic view of what might happen. 

Then make sure to make the absolute best of it

I skimmed the beginning of it a while back... I felt that it had an "agenda" that was not in line with my goals. I wanted advice, and information, yet it seemed to be more of an argument of why one shouldn't do this. It is easy enough for me just to disregard anything that doesn't fit with what I want. I know what I want, I don't care how hard it is, or how many transwomen never pass, nothing short of death was going to dissuade me, and I felt a little offended that the book seemed to want to.

The irony of course is that the book sets all of this up, by saying that other information is biased, slanted, and "garbage" yet this is the book you have been looking for lol.

I ended up finding the TS roadmap, which presented basically all of the information I had been looking for when I stumbled upon that book. I hadn't really given that book much thought since then.

What I did read before starting my transition were mostly scientific and academic texts intended for doctors. My therapist said this on it: "You're taking your own diagnosis a bit too scientifically."

The only things I did read from our local community were articles about laser depilation, hair multiplication surgery, SRS and recovery... And then of course some stuff here. That's about it.

I don't trust anything that has a title saying that it's a guide to "being something". I'm not sure why.

What a load.  Sounds like someone got really bitter. 

I heard about it, but I didn't read it. I just couldn't be bothered to do it. I was never interested in stuff like that.

Quote from: Laura Squirrel on July 10, 2014, 11:12:30 AM
I heard about it, but I didn't read it. I just couldn't be bothered to do it. Stuff like that never interested me.

You mean reading in general or digesting hit pieces?

Quote from: Jill F on July 10, 2014, 11:13:54 AM
You mean reading in general or digesting hit pieces?

LOL!

Quote from: Jill F on July 10, 2014, 11:13:54 AM
You mean reading in general or digesting hit pieces?

Mostly reading self produced anthro porn and digesting cheese crackers.

When I transitioned in the late 90's, there was no shortage of doomsayers espousing dyer warnings about the potential horrors of transition.  Life is tough enough without deliberately exposing myself to fear mongers with an ax to grind. I am so not suggesting that anyone seriously contemplating transition should put on rose colored glasses and avoid contemplating the tough questions.  What I am suggesting is that immersing ourselves in worst case scenario literature/social situations can be every bit as harmful as burying one's head in the sand and pretending that transition will be easy. 

For the same reason that I recommend against going to trans-phobic therapists who believe that they can cure gender dysphoria, I recommend against giving too much energy to dystopic diatribes that seem intent on filling our hearts with fear.

A good therapist can help us to discover and set our feet upon the path that is ideal for us, whether that path includes transition or not.  Well balanced, illuminative literature should ideally serve the same purpose.  Getting too deeply involved in seemingly anti-transition literature could be enough to push someone who already feels like they're out of options over the edge. 

Anyway, that's how I feel about it.  I believe in balance, support, and self empowerment for anyone experiencing gender dysphoria.  From my way of thinking, fear mongering propaganda is antithetical to all three.

I did read that screed and reread it just now.  It is helpful to know that there are serious risks and the most truthful thing I read was that she is "not an expert."  Bleak and severe are just the beginning.  The diatribe is full of absolutes and even states that every transsexual has the same life story.  Oh really?  So we will all lose all our friends, lovers, homes and jobs?  So all of us must ascribe to the binary or be kidding ourselves? 

If someone wants to further their doubts, read another's strong opinions or question themselves needlessly this is a good resource. 

Quote from: Miharu Barbie on July 10, 2014, 12:09:04 PM
I am so not suggesting that anyone seriously contemplating transition should put on rose colored glasses and avoid contemplating the tough questions.  What I am suggesting is that immersing ourselves in worst case scenario literature/social situations can be every bit as harmful as burying one's head in the sand and pretending that transition will be easy...

Getting too deeply involved in seemingly anti-transition literature could be enough to push someone who already feels like they're out of options over the edge. 

Good points all, and point taken on the last part of the quote.  If the consensus is that the link should be removed I will edit the OP.