I've got it, and I've got it baaad.

I haven't done the name change papers yet, because I'm waiting on my friend whos going to name me (long story), and so I have to use my old name when dealing with official stuff, and I recently had to do a series of aptitude tests (another long story) and the guy doing the tests is like, "Yeh, so just write your name on the front of the booklet" And I couldnt do it. I made him write it for me.

I can't say the name at all, I can't handwrite it, I can barely type it, and I cringe everytime somebody calls me it.

Dysphoria-wise, I'm not to terrible. I have a lot of dysphoria about my chest, but my name is the absolute worst of all of it.

I feel for you, and I remember suffering the same acute pain whenever I had to use my birth name. In fact, I still get dysphoria when I hear it mentioned, even though it hasn't been my legal name since 2012.

Can you go by a gender-neutral nickname for now, until your friend comes up with a formal name for you? Or perhaps just use your initials? And if you're asked to write your name, can you just write your initials and surname instead of writing the whole thing out in full? As a non-dysphoria-inducing example, let's say your name is John Doe Jones. Can you write your name on forms as J.D. Jones, and can you ask people to call you JD?

When anyone asks you for your name, can you psychologically distance yourself from it by referring to it as your legal name, rather than your name?

I used to do the initials thing like FTMdiaries said, and my friend who knew I was trans got people to start calling me "Little Z" instead of my birthname most of the time without them realising it.

Then I came out and it became "Big Al"...

I can't call it mine, not at all.
I was at a barbecue event with my partner and a woman was all I KNOW yOU. I was your teacher in school! Whats your name?
And I told her my name was Rob, but it wasnt always.
And shes like YEH, What did it used to be?
And I told my partner to tell her, and I had to cover my ears.
The closest I can get to anywhere near saying it, is referencing to a tv character with the same name, and even then, its hard.
I dont mind the initial, but even that sound really, really girly  ^.^;;  Can you guys think of any male name that stats with the letter 'K'?

Quote from: Rawb on July 11, 2014, 12:32:59 PM
I dont mind the initial, but even that sound really, really girly  ^.^;;  Can you guys think of any male name that stats with the letter 'K'?

Kevin
Some people spell Carl as Karl
There aren't many male 'K' names, but they're out there. Also I'm sure there are traditional names in foreign countries that start with K.

I'd try the nickname or have your friend speed up the process a bit and try to at least have your close family convert to it.
I too hate typing in my birth name and having to sign it for things right now. I'm looking into changing it this month if I can but until I get it all switched there isn't much I can do.
My dad still calls me by my birth name cause he's having that relapse moment thing going on and I cringe every single time. It's gotten so bad with him that when my husband, daughter and even my brother tried correcting him he ignores us all. I've had to pull back talking to him cause it's almost too much for me to handle.
Hopefully you can get your name sorted soon.

I can relate to this.  I changed my legal name more than a year ago.  However, I'm still not out to my dad.  My brother and sister and I all agree that he simply won't be able to deal with it, and given that he's 86 and always in fragile health, I've accepted that it would be best not to upset him unduly.

So I still have an e-mail account in my old name so I can still communicate with him.  It irks me to no end to still be using that account, and when I send him an e-mail, I don't sign my name.  Note that we live a long, long way from each other, so e-mails are about the only way we communicate any more.

Recently I was sending him a birthday present, and since the parcel was going to go across an international border, there was a little form that I had to fill in and which required my signature.  I couldn't sign my new name, since that would give the game away.  At first I simply signed with my old signature without thinking about it too much--and then all of a sudden I got really mad.  So I wrote my new initials over my old signature, which made the signature illegible, but I decided I could tolerate that.  An illegible signature was better than a legible, old one.

Your name means a lot to you.

It really, REALLY does.
That's why I'm getting my friend to name me instead of my parent. Cause my parent had a freak out when I told him I was trans, and he still has trouble accepting it. So, I dont want to look at my new name and be reminded everytime about the hurt he caused. And my friend has been crazy supportive and just really, REALLY wonderful about it all. When I asked him to name me, I basically explained that... naming myself seemed lonely and sad, like being trans is also a transformation of me being by myself. Me deciding, alone, to transition and go through with it, and stand on my own. But I don't want to be alone. So I wanted him to name me, because it would be out of love, so I could look at the name and know that I wasn't alone.

Fox- I know the feels. I have a grandmother who just turned 80 and there is NO WAY that she would ever understand my becoming a man. She's very still in the old school mindset of "the men do the work and the women do the house cleaning" stuff. And she's homophobic (I'm trans AND gay), and she makes fun of my clothes all the time cause I don't wear girl clothes. She actually very spitefully told me several times that I should have been born a boy. When I came out to my brother, he was like THATS GREAT GOOD FOR YOU I KINDA FIGURED YOU WERE TRANS ANYWAYS, DONT TELL GRAM  xD
Although, I dont quiiite have the luxury of distance, because she's currently my neighbor  >.>   The hope is, that the transition happens so gradually that she doesn't notice.

Sorry to hear it. I can relate and I think it will get better when you don't use that name anymore. I used to criiiinge so bad and hated it whenever I heard my old name, even if it was not in reference to me. Now, I laugh to myself when I hear the name because so few people associate it with me, it feels like a drag queen persona or something.

oh man dod I know that feel!!!!
name dysphoria I have it even know that i use a gender neutral name

but i have an idea
the idea was to have cards with my name on it when people want to introduce...

I dont mind others calling my name , i just hate saying it/writing it for no apparent reason...

:/

I can relate, I can't even hear my birth name on a character or other person without cringing.

I'm not out and I haven't told anyone yet. But I'm slowly preparing for the transition. I'm currently okay with my birth name at home since I'm not yet out. I actually don't plan on making anyone call me anything in particular, I feel that when they are ready they will do it on their own. As far as my name change will go.

My birth name - Nicole
Will be legally changed to - Cole

Reason, I just happen to like the name lol. I feel as though it will match me well.

At work I get called Nikkie. I never asked anyone to call me this they just do and have always called me Nikkie. So coworkers are more than welcome to keep calling me this if they please. It's gender neutral and I'm fine with it.

I've gotten a lot of name dysphoria recently, mostly because my parents are not using my name/pronouns most of the time (my mom almost never and my dad usually only written but SOMETIMES other times) after several months, while many staff at my school (the school I just graduated) despite only knowing for a month or less, are using my name consistently. At least the ones I've kept in contact with. My dysphoria stems more from my parents half-assed trying compared to the staff who if they didn't try, wouldn't bother me since I won't see most of them again. If the staff can get it right my parents should be able to.

I get a bad case of name dysphoria too. ESPECIALLY if I'm out in public with my mother or a family member, I'm passing, all is great, til she has to say my name or misgender me. It's the absolute worst.

Quote from: CursedFireDean on July 12, 2014, 08:39:00 AM
My dysphoria stems more from my parents half-assed trying compared to the staff who if they didn't try, wouldn't bother me since I won't see most of them again. If the staff can get it right my parents should be able to.

I think the closer people are to you, the harder they find it to switch over.  My son, my brother and my sister have all been thoroughly accepting and supportive of me, but of all the people I'm out to, they're the only three who (after a year and a half) still can't use my new name.  I'm not sure why this is.  Perhaps because the image they've always had of us is very deep within them, and it's hard for them to get at it so that they can change it.

Keith
Karl
Kenneth
Kade
Kadin

Lots available

Kale
Kamden

Quote from: LordKAT on July 12, 2014, 02:53:48 PM
Keith
Karl
Kenneth
Kade
Kadin

Lots available

Kale
Kamden

You forgot one. KAT 

Oh, Kelly.

Quote from: Xenguy on July 11, 2014, 10:40:12 PM
I can relate, I can't even hear my birth name on a character or other person without cringing.

Same here. And my parents keep screaming my birth name to call me in public (very italian style) when we go somewhere together.
It makes me want to bury in shame.

Even if legal name change laws are very strict here, I changed the loyalty cards of stores/malls with my male name.
I feel better watching the name printed on them.

Quote from: FA on July 12, 2014, 04:24:05 PM
Oh, Kelly.

Good name but I think most of us would stay away from unisex names.