Hi, Susan's.

I am Fretful Owl.

Me:

It was around two years ago when I had my official "Oh ->-bleeped-<-, I think I'm actually a woman" moment. I can't recall exactly but I think it was because I saw someone's before and after pictures. I've had gender issues since puberty but never really thought of them as gender issues.

I don't know if I can say for certain I am female. It was a revelation at first. I was sure. Seemed so simple. Now I'm so confused. The more I think about gender the more questions and less answers I have. I know if I had the choice when I was born I'd pick female. I am just not certain of what I want to make of my current situation. I am trying to figure out where my happy zone is.

So, for now, I crossdress. The lack of pockets on skirts is a hard adjustment for me. I also am working on my voice. No progress yet.

I am here to maybe hopefully figure out this gender thing. I don't know if I want to transition or not. I just know I need some more feminine expression in my life.

Hey Fretful Owl!

Welcome to Susan's Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

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Cheers

Grace

Welcome Fretful Owl,

Nothing is easy when it comes to trying to understand feelings.

You said 2 years ago, have you seen a gender therapist yet to work with you on these feelings.

That is one thing i feel is so needed. Need that sounding board to help you understand where you might fit in the spectrum of things.

Lots of luck
Isabell

Hi fretful owl, welcome to the forum, and I wish you well in sorting out your feelings; in time you will know for sure.  And don't give up on your voice; it takes a lot of patience and practice, but you can do it!

Karen 

Thank you for your welcomes.

No, no gender therapist. I do know of one who seems to be highly recommended near me, luckily. I actually have looked up many localish support places, just haven't done anything. Yet.

The voice thing is interesting. I've gone from sounding like a squeaky ridiculous uncontrolled mess to a squeaky ridiculous very slightly more controlled mess.

Welcome fretful owl I have definitely known something was going on since approximately four years old or so wanted to play with typical girl things etc it sucked not being able to   I have tried to commit suicide in the past
Good luck trust your gut feeling and explore your options 
Good luck and keep us posted