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Finding Housing: Random Roomates & Disclosure

Started by JessieBirdie, July 14, 2014, 06:00:28 PM

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JessieBirdie

Ok,

I just got a decent paying job last week 2 hours away from my parents place and am currently looking for a place to live near my new job.

Thing is though, there's a dearth of studio apartments around here and the only other way to get cheap rent is through a roommate situation off Craigslist or something.

Now, I know alot of people are really sensitive about the gender and or sex of their roommates and what not.  Thus, given I would be living in close quarters with another strange individual and I am pre-op (but been on hormones for years), I was wondering if anyone could recommend an approach to me on the matter, ie: regarding disclosure and whether I should even bother.

Thanks!
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suzifrommd

Pre-op/post-op shouldn't matter. Your housemate is not going to examine your privates.

However, unless you're deep stealth, you should expect your housemates to eventually find out. Someone's going to spill the beans, they'll notice something, etc.

You're not obligated to disclose, but assume it may come out and make sure you can live with the fallout.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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ChelseaAnn

Well, I'd say if they're going to find out eventually, it's probably better they know up front. You don't want to get into a situation where your roommate is transphobic and does something that will get you hurt.
Maybe you should start by looking for a roommate through people you know. Craigslist can be a VERY dangerous place given people to people interactions. Even selling something can go bad.
Just a thought.
http://chelseatransition.blogspot.com/

MTF, transitioning in 2015
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mm

Yes, Craiglist is a very bad place to find a roommate.  I am ftm pre-t in public I pass very well but could never be slealth in roommate/apartment mate situation.  Just too many possibilities when you are living together.
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JessieBirdie

So, I strategized with my mom who said that I should probably only tell those whose residences I find appealing after the tour of their residence. 

Craigslist is, or well, was at this point nearly my only option.  I don't know many people in this area unfortunately and I really needed to find housing ASAP. 

But regardless, as I alluded to above, I got lucky!

Last night I decided to try looking into a Craigslist post from someone who came off to me as a liberal yogi/vegetarian/organic whatever person based on some of things she mentioned in her description of the room share.  I went over to her place and during the initial tour she mentioned that she had another roommate, who happened to be a gay guy.  She then asked if that was ok with me, and I took that as an opening to say flat out, "Well I'm trans."  She looked at me in an astonished fashion (Given I pass nowadays) and after she said she was quite fine with that as she takes a no harm mindset to everything in life in general.

The whole place was otherwise nice, unless she backs out now it looks like I got a room to rent!  :D
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