Hi everyone, my name is Kayla.
Like most of the people probably do initially, ive been lurking around the forums for a while now and thought I'd finnaly indroduce myself since i believe i will be spending alot of my free time on here.
I'm 30 years old, married, and live in south east GA. I've had gender identity issues for as long as I can remember. I remember never really fitting in with all the boys and wanting to play house and play with the girls. The problem is that I grew up in Texas in a not so tolerant area. Between constant bullying and parents that I wasn't sure how there would react given comments I've heard them make growing up about others, I ended up repressing the majority of my feelings and temptations reserving to let them out only when i was alone, which was almost never. Thankfully the invention of the internet helped alot. Thanks chat rooms!
The long and short of it is that doing that for so long I grew into a self-hating, angry person and a mild alcoholic. I learned to bury anything i had that was masculine and pretty much step on it, than bury it with anger. It didnt help when i got married that anytime it "accidently" came out my SO would state clearly that I married a man not a woman.
This all being said about a month and a half ago I sort of got caught by my SO and after 8 hours of crying and talking got everything off my chest to her. For me it was the greatest relief, I slept the best I had in a long time and felt so much lighter. Well since that time in my private life, meaning anything thats not work, I live as Kayla and for the most part my SO is supportive. She is a supportive person of the human rights and will always respect my decision but as a spouse she is trying to figure out if this will work out. We will know that in time.
Before I close the introduction, that seems to have runaway from me, I'd like to restate that I live in southeast GA and there is limited to no resources out there for this. I have researched all I can as far as gender therapist, HRT etc. and it just doesnt exist around here. The nearest I can find is Atlanta and thats a 4 hour drive for me. So if anyone has any advise on that Id appreciate it.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far, and nice to meet you!
