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psychiatrist session ended in tears, advice needed please.

Started by Nexus, July 17, 2014, 11:27:16 AM

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Nexus

I apologise if this post becomes difficult to understand, but I am finding it difficult to compose myself.

This afternoon I had a session with a very rude psychiatrist, my NHS doctor referred me to him. At the beginning of the session he admitted to me that he doesn't know much about this, so he needs me to tell him and answer his questions.

I believe he may get in the way of me being referred to Charing Cross hospital because he seems to disagree with the idea of a woman becoming a man. Here is an example of the session.

Me "I do not like being called "she", "her" or by my birth name, it makes me feel bad, i like to be called by my male name and male pronouns since I identity as male"
psychiatrist "That's very superficial"

^ Clearly doesn't understand how badly it affects a trans person when they are identified as their birth gender.

Psychiatrist "Women can do anything nowadays, they can join the army, do things only men were allowed to do a few years ago, they have the same status as men now."
Me "I don't care about status, i don't think any gender is above the other, i don't want to be a man because I think men are superior, i just know what i want to be"

Psychiatrist "it is very odd for a woman to want to be a man, If you were to go out into the town after this session and tell them what your plans are, do you think they would think you are odd?"
me "I think they would be very close minded if they would think I am odd, I realise theres a lot of hatred towards transgender people.." psychiatrist butts in "you are not transgender you have gender dysphoria"  (coming from the guy who said he didnt know much or anything about this?) I then went on to say "but I think the world is changing, people didn't accept gay people not even 10 yrs ago, now many accept them, I hope the same will happen for me"

He also repeatedly referred to me as female, writing in his notes "she" "her" asked if I was a "naughty girl" at school, if I'm a "party girl" or not, telling me I am an "intelligent woman" and a "clever girl" I don't know if he was really that ignorant or testing me to see how I would react but I repeatedly told him in the session "I identify as male, i do not like being called a woman or her or she" however, I did not want to be rude to him and tell him straight up "stop calling me a woman!!"



Throughout the session he continuously showed ignorance and somewhat of a dislike towards my decisions, when I got in the car, I just broke down in tears because it was the complete opposite of what I was hoping for. I really feel like this will stop me from going any further and I will have to spend another 3 months trying to see another psychiatrist to be referred to Charing Cross. Any advice on what I should do? I've been told by a friend I should report him for being unprofessional.
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Shana-chan

Hey Nexus and welcome to Susan's. Here are the facts of what you need to do.

1. Report the fool. Not only was he unprofessional, but he was closed minded, wrong and you do NOT disrespect your clients.

2. See a new one. Do not let this stop you from seeing someone else. This guy clearly is going to do you a TON more harm than good and will make your transition take forever. So see someone else, does it suck you have to wait longer? Yes it does. Is it worth it to keep trying till you find someone who is good for you? Yes, yes it is.

3. Don't listen to a word the closed minded guy had to say. Just move on from him and find a new one, if you're able too, try finding one on your own vs. waiting for someone else to do so.

Hope that helps and best of luck.
"Denial will get people no where."
"Don't look to the here & now but rather, to the unknown future & hope on that vs. the here & now."
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EllieM


Outrageous!
He should be reported for being unprofessional, and possibly belligerent and abusive as well. I believe you need to find out which psychs in your region have experience with trans* issues, and get your NHS doc to refer you to one of them.
So sorry you had to be exposed to this nonsense.

hugs
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Hikari

Sounds like a quack, I mean seriously being trans isn't even that odd. Surely common enough where a professional should be ashamed to act in such ways.

In any case, I would report him.
15 years on Susans, where has all the time gone?
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aleon515

I agree that this guy doesn't know anything, and shouldn't be providing "therapy" by the NHS. Surely there is a way to report this??

If this was a "test", I think that's a very demeaning and "mind f**" concept, which I don't believe good therapists participate in.

--Jay
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mrs izzy

Sounds normal for most physiatrist they are very closed minded.

I have had to deal with a few over the years.

As said look for someone who understand GD and not just mock its use.

Best in luck.
Izzy
Mrs. Izzy
Trans lifeline US 877-565-8860 CAD 877-330-6366 http://www.translifeline.org/
"Those who matter will never judge, this is my given path to walk in life and you have no right to judge"

I used to be grounded but now I can fly.
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Jess42

This was a psychiatrist, an actual MD that can write prescriptions or psycho therapist? Either or both are supposed to be non judgemental. Either/or they were extremely very unprofessional. I would definately ask for another referral. Even if you are the very first transgender that this person has even encountered, they have all kinds of information available to them to learn more about it. I mean seriously? Anyone can get on the internet and get all kinds of information. Even this so called professional has collegues that probably know a little more about gender issues that he can consult with.
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crowcrow223

After every appointment with NHS therapist I've had, they hand out feedback sheets that you can send by post. Do it!

I plan on reporting my psychologist, I dunno yet, she's a sweetheart, but she didn't know the difference between crossdressing and TS. Hmm... :?
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Jera

This is what terrifies me about bringing it up to any therapist, much less one I can actually afford. Most of them seem more like pill pushers, with a response to depression as "here, eat these, and see if you feel better." How do you even find one who is actually open to the idea?
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EllieM

Quote from: Jera on July 17, 2014, 02:41:13 PM
This is what terrifies me about bringing it up to any therapist, much less one I can actually afford. Most of them seem more like pill pushers, with a response to depression as "here, eat these, and see if you feel better." How do you even find one who is actually open to the idea?

I found mine through the College of Psychologists of Ontario.
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rosinstraya

What a complete shocker of a "medical professional"  >:(. - go and see the GP again and ask them to refer to someone who has understanding of trans issues rather than a love of power.

All the best, and hope it's back on track soon.
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Ms Grace

Yes, I'd be very upset by that. Tell your referring doctor that guy was a useless jerk, you need someone who understands the issues. Hope you have better luck next time.
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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FalseHybridPrincess

http://falsehybridprincess.tumblr.com/
Follow me and I ll do your dishes.

Also lets be friends on fb :D
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Blue Senpai

I would seriously report him for insensitivity and unprofessional conduct.
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