Hey all! This is my first post here, though I've been reading / lurking for a while, especially on the threads involving the Yeson Voice Center. I'm writing from Seoul, South Korea right now, 4 days post op after receiving VFS from Dr. Kim at Yeson and wanted to post my story here like many of you who came before me as well as to thank all the other brave girls who have gotten the procedure done and shared about it here. The wealth of information really contributed to knowing what to expect during the consultation and post-op. I'm especially inspired by Jenny, Abby, and Sara, (hey girls!) whose pre / post op comparisons blew me away when I first saw them, as well as anyone I showed them to when explaining what kind of surgery I'd be getting. My main motivation was not having to out myself when I spoke, which didn't happen much at all in person as most people took my tomboyish, dykey presentation along with the lower pitched voice but happened every friggin time on the phone. I also didn't want to have to constantly worry about slipping up and dropping down into my natural masculine vocal range, which tended to happen after a few drinks. Finally, I'm hoping to be able to jam out with my guitar to the Indigo Girls more naturally than before.

I arrived in Seoul from San Francisco a week ago today, had my consultation last Wednesday (July 9), and went in for the surgery on Friday morning (July 11). I'll be going in for my follow up and botox injection tomorrow (Wednesday), which is a bit early but was booked that way to minimize time off from work, though I got let go just before my surgery, but hey, I have new vocal chords so who cares??   

So far, the experience has been commensurate with what a lot of the other girls have shared. Everyone at the clinic has been super friendly and helpful, especially Jessie and the nurse. I remember reading someone commenting about the nurse looking like a cute character from an anime, and she totally does, glasses and all! During my consultation, I was told I had a set of very healthy, very masculine vocal folds, and my untrained F0 was at 120, which after the 75Hz increase puts me just shy of the tail end of the female standard of 200Hz. My trained voice was 155, so with vocal training, I should be able to easily reach well within female range. I was also told that I had a tremor that manifested at the lower pitch ranges, which was most likely due to how I feminized my voice using muscle pressure around the larynx and increasing airflow, something Dr. Kim said wasn't the best way to go about feminizing my voice. He said the botox would be for my vocal folds to stay relaxed while I trained my new vocal folds to allow my brain to reprogram my full range without having the spasm inducing muscular tension my brain got so accustomed to while using my trained voice for a year. Then Dr. Kim shared some example results from the surgery, including Jenny, of which I told Dr. Kim I must have seen the video a hundred times. I believe you are their star patient!

I did get anxious before the procedure while waiting in my recovery room (the one at the end of the hallway, farthest from the bathroom too dammit), knowing this was it, I was really doing this! The anti-biotic and anti-inflammatory they mixed in with my IV before the operation made me feel a tad drowsy / dizzy tho, so that didn't last long. It's an interesting feeling being on the O.R. table with the oxygen mask on giving Dr. Kim the thumbs up and then the next thing you realize, you're coming out of a very dark place and you can hear yourself being wheeling you into the recovery room. That sore throat was killer! The anesthesia was still wearing off and I felt super sleepy so I slept another hour or so before they came in with water and juice for me, then later porridge and ice cream. OMG the ice cream was so soothing. I did bump into another (cute lol) trans girl who I'm guessing had the same procedure while wandering the hallway toward the bathroom. Geez, that IV drip made me pee so frequently.

So far, the hardest challenge has been not coughing or clearing my throat. The constant presence of phlegm and the tickle in my throat drives me bonkers, and I did end up being unable to completely suppress a cough several times, though I did so extremely quietly and without phonation. Most of the time it was when lying down or otherwise shifting my position, causing the build up in my chest to move around. I also did whisper a couple times by accident because I tend to talk to myself but checked myself as soon as I heard anything come out of my mouth. I still have a slight sore throat, like one might have toward the end of a cold, and my tongue is numb along one section, but that's temporary. I'm worried that my coughing / whispering earlier might have caused problems, but from what I understand, I would know without a doubt if the sutures tore or something else went wrong as it's supposed to be extremely painful when that happens. I know I'm in the critical stages of healing and am doing my absolute best to follow my instructions to a tee.

Anyway, I hope to post samples of my voice as my voice heals to share my progress. Thanks again for all of you brave girls who went ahead without first having the advantage of foresight from others, particularly Jenny, whose video made my jaw drop when I first saw it. Thanks for sharing your adventures and trailblazing the way for the rest of us!

Quote from: CoderMarissa on July 15, 2014, 07:28:30 AM
my untrained F0 was at 120, which after the 75Hz increase puts me just shy of the tail end of the female standard of 200Hz. My trained voice was 155, so with vocal training, I should be able to easily reach well within female range. I was also told that I had a tremor that manifested at the lower pitch ranges, which was most likely due to how I feminized my voice using muscle pressure around the larynx and increasing airflow, something Dr. Kim said wasn't the best way to go about feminizing my voice.

Wow, thats about the same as I am expecting. I have what my ENT called an assymetry in the lower pitches. My F0 is 110 and trained it is 150 Hz. From ENT analysis I used exectly that technique - pressure on the vocal folds and then use more air than usual. I had this "hourglass" shape in my vocal folds as a result - did you have that too - they did not close completely when I was making a sound but hat 2 "gaps". I want to follow your experience as you seem to be similar to me in respect to voice. I hope you will also provide some recordings or videos?

And definitely Jenny is his posterchild - she was among the first who did videos and her voice really is amazing.

Quote from: anjaq on July 15, 2014, 08:47:03 AM
I had this "hourglass" shape in my vocal folds as a result - did you have that too - they did not close completely when I was making a sound but hat 2 "gaps". I want to follow your experience as you seem to be similar to me in respect to voice. I hope you will also provide some recordings or videos?

I had the same thing. Dr. Kim showed me the high-speed video they took of my vocal folds, and they didn't close completely on the posterior end, the far side of the commissure, during low pitch phonation. When the vocal folds phonate, they're a supposed to form this nice ring-shaped structure, but mine definitely had a gap, as well as the folds "slapping" together very hard and not smoothly, the combination of which led to the formation of a tremor.

I'll definitely be posting samples of my progress, as well as my pre-op videos of my voice or larynx of Dr. Kim can provide those for me.

Well my follow up with Dr. Kim went pretty smoothly. He took new pictures of my vocal folds and saw that things are looking ok. There was still some redness around the suture site, so I was prescribed some additional medication to continue the regimen he had given me after the surgery and an additional week of total vocal rest. Afterward, I received training on the exercises I will be performing at the 2 month mark, and then the Botox injection.

I spent the rest of the afternoon going to Myeongdong for shopping and then going to Seoul Tower at the top of Mount Namsan. It's unbelievable how cheap accessories like bracelets and rings are here! Right now I'm on my way to the airport for my flight home to San Francisco. I'll be posting pics and videos of the pre-op material in my patient medical record package they put together for me when I get home and sleep a bit.

Safe trip home! Thanks for your write up

Oh - one extra week of no speaking. That makes 3 then? Was it because of your condition that you described?

Quote from: CoderMarissa on July 15, 2014, 09:01:53 PM
I had the same thing. Dr. Kim showed me the high-speed video they took of my vocal folds, and they didn't close completely on the posterior end, the far side of the commissure, during low pitch phonation.

Oh ok. I think that is pretty normal in women. My ENT told me that many women have that. I however have done what you did for 10 more years, so I also developed a second gap at the anterior end, next to the commissure (http://i.imgur.com/9vgZc04.png). Basically I deactivated about 1/4 of my vocal chords near the anterior commissure with tension, which obviously is not healthy. Dr Kim wrote me back that this may slow down the healing process, and it seems to be the case for you, but if it stays as severe as it was, it would diminish my result, but I managed to get it to the state you had - only one gap left at the posterior end.

Hourglass with other words, I guess you've also been told that you're using 2 - 3 times more air to produce a sound as well?

Having those gaps between the vocal fold is NOT very favorable, as you state.

Yes indeed. I could not produce an ooo sound for over 7-9 seconds. too much air loss . I am better now. about 10-15 seconds I think. The worst was that with those big gaps, I was getting a sore throat after some minutes of talking because of all the tension. I also dont have that anymore, so I really have to thank my voice therapist for that. however of course she thinks that a surgery is not needed, reminding me of how good her exercises could fix me up to now. but she says IF anyone knows most about this and has realistic expectations among her patients, it is me - so she actually thinks if I would decide with all that knowledge to go for it, she thinks its better than with most that she knows and who aim for it.

Decide, the big action. Well. I have not had any voice therapy earlier, and I had a post. chink which he corrected. Well see how this goes when I heal.

But back to the decision, why are you dwelling? You seem like you've been dwelling over this questions for a very long time. What are you waiting for?

Its the usual me - dwelling forever on decisions. Trying to get all the information I can, make sure I dont make mistakes. - I guess decision day will be about Nov 1st. By then I have hopefully seen how many of the ones in this forum who now say they are dissapointed willcome around, I will have visited Amy and have talked to her about her experience with it, I will know if I can muster up the money needed by spring and I will know if I will have 8 weeks where I do not have to talk too much at work. I also will have another 10 hours or so of therapy. At that point there will be no excuses - I will have to say yes or no. If yes, I would be aiming for end of february.

(why I am dwelling so much on this may in part be because of two things - one is that basically everyone except people in this forum seems to be against it, tell me horror stories, make claims about how restricive and suboptimal the results are and even though I know better, it creates a bit of uncertainty. The other is that I had some really bad experiences with the two trans related surgeries I already had and dont want to repeat anything like that)

Sorry about the lapse in updating! It's been pretty hectic trying to catch up on everything since returning.

Today I got to speak several words for the first time! It felt weird. My vocal folds feel completely different, and they feel noticeably smaller. I suppose that's to be expected because the opening is only 66% of what it used to be, but it was surprising to actually feel that with my body. I did record it, as it's a pretty important milestone and one that I'm sure I'll be glad I to have to reference as I make further progress. I also downloaded Praat and started analyzing the difference using a sample I recorded just before the procedure as comparison. It's worth noting that while speaking I completely relaxed my larynx, and my vocal folds are still recovering as well as hoarse from botox, so this is as low as it gets for me, and it's only going to get better as time progresses. So without further ado, here are the results @ 2 weeks post-op!

Pre-op
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0CMYWWktMHB
Praat mean pitch: 113.042 Hz

2 Weeks Post-op
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0SEL9jWe3EV
Praat mean pitch: 169.315 <- Whoa!

So, yeah according to Praat, my voice jumped over 55 Hz! It's still really hoarse sounding, but I'm sure that'll taper off soon enough. I am really excited with these results this early on.

Also, I promised videos of my vocal folds taken by Dr. Kim. I'll include them below. If you're squeamish about seeing internal organs, I wouldn't recommend watching these.

I can finally talk! Yaaaaay!

I've been making some significant progress since my last update with the first words I spoke post-op. I am very pleased with my results thus far, considering I'm still healing up and will be making even more gains in the weeks to come. I'll post an analysis using Praat when I get around to it later. Here's a youtube of me reading the rainbow passage to show my progress.

Quote from: CoderMarissa on August 16, 2014, 05:58:31 PM
I can finally talk! Yaaaaay!

I've been making some significant progress since my last update with the first words I spoke post-op. I am very pleased with my results thus far, considering I'm still healing up and will be making even more gains in the weeks to come. I'll post an analysis using Praat when I get around to it later. Here's a youtube of me reading the rainbow passage to show my progress.

Wow, I'm impressed, you sound so very female!

While the pitch is still lower than it will be after a year, it's a pass pass pass already for me! You sound cis female!

Glad that you are happy with the results!

Dang, good 'ol Dr. Kim. He's got this down to an art by now

Congratulation!

barbie~~

The first post op audio recording after 2 weeks sounded weak and with some hint of a more male resonance, it was undoubedly hard to do it at all.

The video recording now sounds great - not a lot of hoarseness, a bit breathy and not a lot of volume, but for this stage it sounds great. can you elaborate a bit on what you did to do this passage? Did you apply trained resonance, did you still elevate your pitch, is this what just comes out naturally, does it feel like the pre op recording from what you do and feel when speaking?
I think the pitch is fine and in a female alto range, maybe it will go up a bit later on, but you are not 18 anymore, so you dont have to do a 250 Hz sporano voice - I also have a original pitch of 110 Hz and Dr Kim told me that he can only give me a low pitch female voice, which for me is totally fine. Its a huge improvemtn on that original pitch after all.

Quote from: Shantel on August 16, 2014, 06:03:34 PM
Wow, I'm impressed, you sound so very female!

Quote from: barbie on August 17, 2014, 07:30:02 AM
Congratulation!

barbie~~

Thanks everyone!

Quote from: Jennygirl on August 17, 2014, 06:51:52 AM
While the pitch is still lower than it will be after a year, it's a pass pass pass already for me! You sound cis female!

Glad that you are happy with the results!

Dang, good 'ol Dr. Kim. He's got this down to an art by now

Aww, thanks Jenny! Dr. Kim did is doing really great work. And thanks for inspiring me to take this step in my transition!

Quote from: anjaq on August 17, 2014, 07:36:43 AM
The first post op audio recording after 2 weeks sounded weak and with some hint of a more male resonance, it was undoubedly hard to do it at all.

The video recording now sounds great - not a lot of hoarseness, a bit breathy and not a lot of volume, but for this stage it sounds great. can you elaborate a bit on what you did to do this passage? Did you apply trained resonance, did you still elevate your pitch, is this what just comes out naturally, does it feel like the pre op recording from what you do and feel when speaking?
I think the pitch is fine and in a female alto range, maybe it will go up a bit later on, but you are not 18 anymore, so you dont have to do a 250 Hz sporano voice - I also have a original pitch of 110 Hz and Dr Kim told me that he can only give me a low pitch female voice, which for me is totally fine. Its a huge improvemtn on that original pitch after all.

Yeah, my first recording was literally the very first time I'd spoken in weeks :lol: It was definitely rough around the edges. I didn't really do anything to get more progress, just rested my voice and spoke only a few words a day. For this latest reading, I just read the passage using natural "outside voice" phonation and I didn't use any techniques to raise my pitch at all. It all just came out as I'm reading out loud at volume. When I'm speaking with less volume conversationally, I notice that my voice does drop a bit, but not much and in the exact same way you'd expect any cis-female voice to. What you're hearing is pretty much my "natural" voice. Exciting!