well i been thinking and talking and why does it seem that most ppl say you have to pick something one way or a other guy girl or both why cant i just say i am who i am and tbh i am not fully sure what that is so why do i have to pick and say i am MTF or bit of both or none. yes i feel more of a girl at times and a guy at times and am ok with my male body i dont hate it but i am like overjoyed to have a male body i am ok with it. I know soem ppl born males or FTM hav joy in a male body which i do not, as well as females have joy in thire female body if they are GG or MTF. me i am ok i dont hate it nor do i have joy in it. So why why do i have to pick and say to someone i am MTF or CD or whaterever why cant i just say i do not know and just leave it at that. But, no everyone feels that have to talk to me and see if they cant pick for me and say well your a CD who des not dress or a chould be a MTF who is ok with thire male body or a MTF who is srcaed of comeng out and faceing it. Why cant i just be unsure and be me as Unsure as for gender or sexualy goes it seems even with in the TG comminty ppl like to lable you and if they do not understand you they want to make you come to thire way of thinking. SO why even ask ppl what they are anywho i hate it when ppl ask me what i am. From now on i am not going to say anything, i feel that ppl should not ask and only say what they are if want to say what they are. Why cant i come just as i am and be ok with it? and me i do nto know what gedner i am and i am ok with my male body and tend to feel and act and think liek a female now and then as well as male i do not dress up as female nor do i have a uger to do so. something i dont feel like anything comes to gender as well as for sexauly. the thing is sexualy goes hand and hand with gender so one can not say it does not. Most of the world lable your sexualy by your gender some might do by your brith sex. so in the end why do i have to pick why cant i jsut be me and not sure abotu my gender and sexualy.

To answer the first question first, no, you don't have to pick. Some people would argue that you do, or that you will eventually (after growing out of this phase), and they may be right. Then again, they may be wrong: there certainly are others who are unable to pick either one of the two primary genders. If you look around, there has been quite a bit of debate lately on these forums about just this issue: whether there is a gender identity (or several) other than 'male' and 'female'. Some people can't see it, but others consider it a good description of themselves.

The main difficulty in not conforming to either of the major genders is that the society is pretty much set on having just two choices. As a result, people who don't think about it -- and frankly, most don't need to -- assume that there are just those two options, and assign you to one of them without thinking about it too much. There's not much you can do about it: for instance, it's pretty much impossible to change your legal gender marker to 'undecided'. The best you can realistically do is to be you, not pay too much attention to others' expectations about gender roles or gender-related behaviour, and be prepared to deal with the occasional confusion this causes. It can be hard on occasion, although not in the same way (and likely not to the same extent) as a transsexual's transition, but it can also be great fun. Also, being you may eventually lead to deciding on a gender, so you might as well keep your options open.

Anyway, the bottom line is that you are the best expert on how you feel. Let others tell you what they think, but don't let them make the decisions for you. Especially if you can't make the decision yourself.

  Nfr

Just be yourself - you do not need to choose.

I am right in the middle of gender confusion now. Many believe me to be female (ie MtF TS) but I am refusing that title. I never considered myself a girl even though I like to wear skirts. I am in the middle of the genders and refusing to believe I am TS.

From an article I like to reference.

Quote
There are those who are not driven to complete a full sex reassignment to fit an easily defined,  polarized gender. It should be understood that gender is NOT a simple Male and Female polarity. In actuality, gender is a continuum, a spectrum between the poles of male and female, with an infinite number of possible states of being in between. Even the most polarized individual still contains elements of the 'opposite' gender within their construction and expression. No human is ever completely male or completely female.

Do what you feel is best.

Alice

There are plenty of us who live somewhere in between or outside of binary gender. No need to choose, and even if you do, gender is often fluid, you might feel differently next week, or even in 5 minutes. It's certainly like that for me.  Be yourself and enjoy!

y2g

Hi,

I agree with all that has been said, just be yourself. You don't need to choose one way or the other. I too am in the middle at the moment. It confuses some people and they look at you and try to weigh you up and you may get odd looks, but hay it's your life so live it the way you want.

hugs

Nigella

No you don;t have to pick which gender you are. You just think feel like sometimes act female and sometimes you act like a make and thats ok. As for which gender you are you are it sounds like to me like you are gender fluid and that means somtimes you act male and sometimes you act female and there is nothing wrong with that.

As for your male body in which you say you don;t don't hate it but at the same time you are not overjoyed with it. You have to ask yourself would you be happier if you got female breasts or a female genetalia or just keep your body the way it is right now?

I can relate too you because sometimes I really act male like when I;m watching sports but most of the time as you get to know me the female in me comes out. I am just female brained.