Unfortunately, more than anything else, I still feel ashamed when I have to say it. I almost feel like I have to attach an apology to it, or try to distance myself from it.

I'm not ashamed of myself - if anything, I am more proud of myself as a person than I have ever been in my life. But I still feel that way when I have to tell someone. I wish I could get over it.

I feel indifferent, honestly. It's kind of a chore, but one that I have no feeling about. Like doing my dishes.

I like telling people, but I managed to get into a headspace where it is really educating them about what trans really is, rather than coming out.

Told another colleague today.  Went well and felt really good.  They didn't understand trans* but a good discussion resulted and a deeper or more authentic  relationship has become possible

Aisla

I plan on telling my oldest and closest friend tonight. We'll see how that goes. I'm scared but we've known each other for a long time so I think (hope) we'll be ok.

I'm presenting more feminine at times, androgynous most of the time so I imagine some people I know are starting to get curious. I'm getting my eyebrows done tomorrow so that might get some attention as well.

Quote from: Wynternight on July 18, 2014, 04:36:23 PM
I plan on telling my oldest and closest friend tonight. We'll see how that goes. I'm scared but we've known each other for a long time so I think (hope) we'll be ok.

I'm presenting more feminine at times, androgynous most of the time so I imagine some people I know are starting to get curious. I'm getting my eyebrows done tomorrow so that might get some attention as well.

Winter night

I hope that your conversation went well and that you now have an even more authentic and closer friendship

Aisla

Quote from: Aisla on July 18, 2014, 06:04:08 PM
Winter night

I hope that your conversation went well and that you now have an even more authentic and closer friendship

Aisla

Thank you. I'll let you know how it works out.

Walked in on some guys at a games school I visit quite a bit talking about a trans girl they studied with a couple of years ago (who I taught once).  All positive stuff, but one guy said "isn't it funny how, every year at least one student becomes a girl."  They agreed.  Then one said "no one this year". 

I coughed and put my hand up.

"Uh, that would be me."  I chuckled.

Gob smackage.  It was great.  I answered some questions,  showed a couple of timeline pics (people never stop being amazed at the fact we change so much) and that was that.

There's a bit of apprehension but it does give way to an exhilarating rush. It reminds me of that old Kids in the Hall skit about the man everyone knew was gay except himself. He eventually, in the movie Brain Candy, busts out in a full on dance number through the town and proudly proclaims "I'm GAAAAAY" and the response is a resounding, SO WHAT? I honestly, think I've made a bigger deal about this than a good 80% of my friends. My family on the other hand, is a different story...

Most of my misgivings were more because I don't like attention on myself, and less because I was afraid of any sort of rejection.  I feel lucky that this has been the case.

Mostly relief: lengthy blurb in emails overseas; yabbing, arm waving and more head movements when in person. Maybe it's the coffee or beer effect. Or just the liberation of oneself.

Best reaction I've had was from a good friend who is a very talented drag performer. He couldn't stop saying "omg no way!" for 10 minutes when I told him.