Not sure if this goes to legal matters or what, but here goes!  Mods move if necessary.

Short Version (Cuz I tend to talk too much)
I never told my work I was transitioning, because it's a very conservative atmosphere.  I planned on just leaving but things didn't work out that way financially.  I have gotten harassment / awkwardness even trying to present as that 'old' male self at work.  Things hit a breaking point this month and I had my hours cut to almost nothing, while a couple months ago we had 3 new employees hired that do the exact same thing I do.  They have not let me go because I think they know that would be considered discrimination and I could sue..  What should I do? Could I still sue?  I have some money in the bank but not enough to last me for too long plus I'm right in the middle of the name change process  I look female and am addressed as such even when trying to present as male for legal matters.

Long Version (Mostly to get my feelings out / therapeutic):
So just a little bit of background I began my HRT at the tail end of last october / early novemeber.  I didn't come out to my work at that point for a variety of reasons, but the primary being that many fundamentalist Christians (and a couple Muslims) work there, and I could pick out at least 3 employees that would make my life a living hell if I did.  Things were fine for awhile, because I was at work so often the gradual changes were easy not to see if someone sees you every day.  I was getting bonuses & overtime through the end of last year (December).

But things started to change as the changes to my appearance became more obvious.  I got away with it for awhile because my appearance was already pretty androgynous, (I was gendered female several times before HRT) and I started growing my hair out a couple years prior so I already dealt with a huge amount of harassment just because of that. (Yes, even though I tied it back... it's THAT conservative of a work environment).  But as I mentioned things starting hitting a tipping point in Jan / Feb.  That's when the hormones starting hitting me really hard.  That's when I started passing 100% (I haven't been addressed as 'male' no matter how i 'present' since the first week of feburary... even when I attended court with my old male ID).

I would wear an open jacket to cover them, but this became increasingly less an option when it started to get hot (I'm in SoCal, weather gets above 90-100 starting in April sometimes).  Nevertheless I suffered through it anyways, and I began to bind on really hot days (I had no other choice, I hit a B cup in May).  That's when I started to be told to 'stay home' when work was slow... even though 3 other employees were hired in this time period that do the exact same thing as I do... and they were all working full time.

So, it's been very awkward for me to go to work with this thick jacket on and get addressed as 'he' then leave for lunch and get the flirts from guys... but I've lived with it because I had to (cuz money).  Though even at work I was referred to as 'her' by employees that didn't know me previously.  I repeat this point often just because I have not been directly confronted about the transistion... only subtle harassment / mistreatment and snide comments here and there. Fast forward to this week.. and I was basically told not to come in at all until they tell me to.   Sadly, the HR lady is out on vacation until Monday 7/14, so I can't file an unemployment claim to cover my basic needs just yet.  I'm contemplating suing for a discrimination suit.  Should I go through with it?  Does anyone else have experience in this area?

I suppose I could always just file for unemployment, cut my losses and move on... but it really does feel like I'm being discriminated against- especially when I've tried to keep things on a good term with them and not rock the boat by insisting they address me by my correct name and by essentially binding & cross dressing everyday just to accommodate certain people who would give me hell.


UPDATE!!! Resolved 8/22/14

Ok so I resolved this with them. I sent them a long email detailing everything and telling them I was going to quit giving them a one day notice. I said nothing about suing, but they took the initiative and offered me a settlement / severance package.  So everything turned out okay, the severence / settlement wasn't nearly as much as I would've liked, but it's definately enough to help with my next step (little bit of FFS).  So that plus employment will allow me to just focus the rest of the year on finishing off my transistion & getting all my legal documentation processed. One more push and my new life will be complete! Thanks all for listening here & offering your feedback.

Well I hate to tell you but discrimination is a hard thing to prove. You can bet your butt that they are gonna have all their bases covered. Unless it's just out and out discrimination where things were said and their are witnesses, remember some places don't allow recordings if both parties are not aware they are being recorded. BTW unless it is something that can be proven beyond a shadow of a doubt, they probably have lawyers on retainer and they will just drag it out until you run out of money. I would point blank ask why my hours were getting cut and see what they say and then take it from there. If they lay you off then you are automatically eligiable for unemployment benefits. If you quit I don't think you are and if you are fired, you can still get unemployment benfits but there is a six month waiting period. Unless they've changed the rules that's the way it works with unemployment.

Personally I would start using the freetime and look for another job and if it comes to it let them lay you off and then go right down to the unemployment office. BTW if they tell you not to come in until they tell you to ask if you are laid off or what 'cause you really need to know. To me it does sound kind of iffy and they may have an agenda against you but like I said it is extremely hard to prove and they have a lot more finances to fight it than you do.

It's also like old age discrimination. an old guy was told by his employer that his job was being phased out. However, a couple of month's later, he saw his old friends at work and also saw that his job was taken over by young people. If he had not visited his work place he wouldn't be able to prove that he was discriminated at because of old age.

Quote from: Jess42 on July 10, 2014, 04:16:21 PM
Well I hate to tell you but discrimination is a hard thing to prove. You can bet your butt that they are gonna have all their bases covered. Unless it's just out and out discrimination where things were said and their are witnesses, remember some places don't allow recordings if both parties are not aware they are being recorded. BTW unless it is something that can be proven beyond a shadow of a doubt, they probably have lawyers on retainer and they will just drag it out until you run out of money. I would point blank ask why my hours were getting cut and see what they say and then take it from there. If they lay you off then you are automatically eligiable for unemployment benefits. If you quit I don't think you are and if you are fired, you can still get unemployment benfits but there is a six month waiting period. Unless they've changed the rules that's the way it works with unemployment.

Personally I would start using the freetime and look for another job and if it comes to it let them lay you off and then go right down to the unemployment office. BTW if they tell you not to come in until they tell you to ask if you are laid off or what 'cause you really need to know. To me it does sound kind of iffy and they may have an agenda against you but like I said it is extremely hard to prove and they have a lot more finances to fight it than you do.

Actually I work at a fairly small company of less than 50 people, so to be honest they don't really have the funds to fight a discrimination lawsuit head-on like that. As Janet pointed out, it's hard to make a case on its own, but they can't really say there's been a 'slow-down' or they need to 'phase me out' when they've been hiring new employees left and right while cutting my hours at the same time.  In studying similar cases that seems to be the crux of the matter- and this is where others have won the discrimination suit before... where job performance is not an issue and still your hours are cut while others are hired in to replace you.  I'm in a position where I have a hand in the running of the network / email on top of other duties, so I could snoop into emails & files if I had to.  As for unemployment I've been in this boat before at a different place during the crash / recession of 2008.  Even experiencing a large reduction of hours here in California makes you eligible for Unemployment, which would continue unabated should I be laid off.

I do think I'll take your advice and directly confront them about it when the HR lady returns next week.  I won't proceed with anything unless I can word from a legal professional that my case is good.  Sort of half hoping that it might just scare them into a settlement, I don't know.  A lot of friends / family think I have a case but I totally agree with you Jess that proving discrimination is 99% of the battle.

Have you tried calling Lambda Legal?  If you truly have a case, they are a great organization.

If your company is a Equal opportunity employer you can file with the EEOC.

We are covered under the sex discrimination.

Isabell

Quote from: Jill F on July 11, 2014, 01:19:51 AM
Have you tried calling Lambda Legal?  If you truly have a case, they are a great organization.

Never even heard of them, just checked out the website though and I'm very encouraged!  Thank you so much for this reference I'll see how things go next week when I directly confront them, and I'll contact them to see if I have a case. 

Quote from: mind is quiet now on July 11, 2014, 01:38:24 AM
If your company is a Equal opportunity employer you can file with the EEOC.

We are covered under the sex discrimination.

Isabell

Pretty sure my employer is, they have a huge thing up with workplace laws in the breakroom, and gender + gender identity is definitely on the list of groups they're not allowed to discriminate against.

I would definately ask them point blank and see how they react. If you snoop into Emails and files make sure that it can be used in your area but a lawyer should be able to tell you if it can or can't use them in court. Make copies if you find anything and if you can't use it just hold on to them anyway. If the court subpeanas the files and emails, there will probably be a mysterious computer crash but you will have hardcopies. If you are going to snoop, do it before you ask them anything.

Even small companies have much bigger parent companies and you may be surprised at how many lawyers even small companies have on retainer. It is a tax write off so in reality they pay nothing for the lawyers because they would have to pay that in taxes anyway.

Do your homework. Find out all the laws and what you can do. Pretty much every company is an Equal Opportunity Employer. It makes them look and sound good. But looking and sounding good and actually being ethical are two different things.

If you do find anything go directly to your lawyer and get advice.

BTW just to clear things up a little. At this job are you presenting as male or female? If you are presenting as male what is the dresscode? Is there something about hairlength if you are still presenting as male? Every company should have a hand book or something they give you with all the rules in it and definately take that to the lawyer too. Cover all your bases, just like they will be doing.

This is just me but if I asked the HR person and was told some type of BS and you are still presenting as male I would then tell them I am transitioning since it seems in California that gender identity is covered under anti discrimination policies. If you haven't said anything yet about transitioning and you are getting a runaround make sure it is known. If they do fire you after or lay you off, remember they can fire or layoff for any reason that is within reason that goes against company policy but make sure you tell as many people that you are transitioning as you are walking out the door. Witnesses that can testify under oath. All they really need to know is 2 things 1. you are getting fired or layed off and 2. you are transitioning. The witnesses don't need to know what the company's reason is for letting you go but those two little facts may make a lot of difference in a courtroom or lawsuit. Don't start a conflict though. Don't make assumptions just say something like, "I just got fired and I'm transitioning". Don't say, "I got fired because I am transitioning." That is making assumptions and you can bet that reason will not be reflected in their records of why you were let go. "I got fired and I am transitioning." are just two facts you are stating while walking out the door. Just state it calmly but loud enough so that a couple of people can hear you and then write their names down once you are out of the building..

Remember, if you are gonna snoop, snoop before you tell anyone anything. Once you have that conversation and ask the question, if it is an agenda against you, you maybe be limited to what you can get into afterward or a lot of things may be deleted because they will be expecting you to take some type of action. Remain calm and cool and don't cause a scene or ruckess. That too can be witnessed and could take some legitamcy out of your case. Remember if they let you go the person that will fire you will probably have a witness with them. So if that happens ask them calmly if it is because you are transitioning and let them know you are indeed transitioning just in case they "didn't know". That witness can be just as good as the others.

Update: For three days running now I have been called,texted or email specifically requested NOT to come in until further notice.

Quote from: Jess42 on July 11, 2014, 09:16:25 AM
Even small companies have much bigger parent companies and you may be surprised at how many lawyers even small companies have on retainer. It is a tax write off so in reality they pay nothing for the lawyers because they would have to pay that in taxes anyway.

I should have been a bit more specific - this company has no parent company, they are legit a small business.  I know they have a lawyer on retainer, but I've seen them get hit with a wrongful termination suit a few years ago and they just settled out of court because the legal fees were getting way too high for them.  I can legimately say the person in question who was suing them did not have much a case (it was not discrimination related, but performance related).  If I can get some sort of advocacy group to take my case, I won't be getting money drained out of me like they would.

QuoteBTW just to clear things up a little. At this job are you presenting as male or female? If you are presenting as male what is the dresscode? Is there something about hairlength if you are still presenting as male? Every company should have a hand book or something they give you with all the rules in it and definately take that to the lawyer too. Cover all your bases, just like they will be doing.

At this job I am still presenting male.  I've worked here for five years.  I was hired as 'male'.  I've never said anything to anyone about transisitoning or planning to transistion at anytime.  About 3 years ago before transitioning I started growing my hair out, but I kept it tied back.  There's nothing in the dress code about hair length specifically in the handbook, and other male employees have had long hair (and still do).  Those male employees have beards & facial hair though, and look more male... I've never been able to grow a beard or much facial hair in my life so at the time I started growing my hair out I got harassed a bit and got called 'she' or 'her' in disparaging ways (though of course I didn't mind it, and didn't even pretend to be offended  )  I was told by co-workers with no authority over me to cut my hair because I looked too feminine. I didn't, no boss ever told me to cut my hair. (Should mention by now my hair is almost down to my waist).

I began hormone treatment @ end of October 2013 (last year).  I do not know how convincing my male presentation still is to them... that's the thing.  Hormones have made a LOT of changes to my appearance (both face and body).  I have B cup breasts now.  I didn't think they would hit me this hard and fast, but I guess it's genetics + I'm still in my 20's and was feminine enough already to be gendered as female from time to time before taking hormones (once I had grown my hair out a little). My body type's always been very scrawney / skinny, etc.  I'm also paying a lot for a very high dosage of hormones... so that could be it I don't know.

Our work environment is business casual (office job).  I used to wear exclusively 'male' attire, but as hormones have changed my body type I can't wear men's pants with any degree of comfort, so I've been switching on and off between my really old men's pants / jeans and my newer women's jeans.  I wear a sports bra (or 2 sometimes) to pack in the boobs, but it doesn't entirely work.  So I wear a coat over, and unbuttoned because if I buttoned it the boobs would be visible.  They've been turning off the AC a few days in the summer and it gets very hot though, so sometimes I've not been able to stand it and take the jacket off... this happened a few times the past couple weeks which could've ended up being a big mistake.  Though I've gotten people making suspicious comments to me before like 'why the jacket? it's summer' or just 'take off that jacket, it's hot'.  The coat I'm wearing is a nice $100 pea coat too btw, definately not against dress code

My upper body (shoulders, neck, collarbone, arms) have shrunk considerably thanks to little muscle mass I had going bye bye, so my old men's dress shirts hang off me like I'm wearing a pajama shirt.  I've worn women's flannels a couple times, about once a week... but these dress decisions don't really scream 'female'. I'm still technically wearing shirt + jeans hehe and I'm not wearing a dress / skirts / heels  Though if i think about it harder the women's jeans are a little obvious... pretty tight and all lol.  For shoes I just wear converse, either a new pair of girl's or an old pair of guy's they don't look that different.  I can definitely say I understand the difficulties FTMs or female crossdressers go through It's so uncomfortable to bind!!!

So all in all no matter how I'm dressed as I pointed out above, I'll go into work and get addressed by older co-workers as my old 'male' self, though sometimes they have stumbled on referring to me with male pronouns, or have used female pronouns.  If I go out to lunch or on an errand, I will still get addressed as female outside the office consistently.  Sometimes to the point of being flirted with / hit on.  Newer employees were confused when the bosses introduced me to them under the old male name.  They talk to me more gentle as guys generally do to girls, and don't include me in 'guy talk' in the cubicles next to me (this doesn't offend me, just pointing it out).  I've been avoiding using the bathroom when I can because at work I'd still have to use the 'men's' bathroom.  If it's an emergency (cuz estrogen makes u pee) then I'll use the stall part.  It's a small bathroom, and if I walk in guys usually look uncomfortable.  (Outside of work I've been going in women's bathrooms for five months now w/o problems). Some employees have either harassed me with comments (see above). Others who used to talk to me a lot whom I consider 'friends' before are awkward and don't talk to me anymore unless they have to.

QuoteThis is just me but if I asked the HR person and was told some type of BS and you are still presenting as male I would then tell them I am transitioning since it seems in California that gender identity is covered under anti discrimination policies. If you haven't said anything yet about transitioning and you are getting a runaround make sure it is known.

This is going to be a hard step for me, but I'm just going to have to take the plunge and do it.  As I said before, many in the company (bosses included) are strongly fundamentalist.  I've heard a few owners / bosses say they consider it a 'christian company'.  Even the HR lady is hardcore Christian.  But I think I'll just take your advice and come out... I can always start out by leading up to it and saying 'is there anything wrong? performance? appearance?' And then if I still get the run-around I'll just come out and say it and see if anything's been sad to her.  I can think of a couple co-workers that have remained nice to me (only a couple) since the early part of this year I could confide in as a witness.

QuoteIf they do fire you after or lay you off, remember they can fire or layoff for any reason that is within reason that goes against company policy but make sure you tell as many people that you are transitioning as you are walking out the door. Witnesses that can testify under oath. All they really need to know is 2 things 1. you are getting fired or layed off and 2. you are transitioning. The witnesses don't need to know what the company's reason is for letting you go but those two little facts may make a lot of difference in a courtroom or lawsuit. Don't start a conflict though. Don't make assumptions just say something like, "I just got fired and I'm transitioning". Don't say, "I got fired because I am transitioning." That is making assumptions and you can bet that reason will not be reflected in their records of why you were let go. "I got fired and I am transitioning." are just two facts you are stating while walking out the door. Just state it calmly but loud enough so that a couple of people can hear you and then write their names down once you are out of the building...

This is really good advice, as I said I feel extremely inhibited at this place but I'm sure I can at least do that or confide in a couple of people before exiting the building... god knows I'll never see them again.  And I like your advice of just stating the facts, not making a scene or conflict.

Over all thanks a LOT for your advice and your time listening Jess I know I type a lot of info XD I have my plan going forward basically once I'm set on the unemployment I can start my inquiries and the process of a lawsuit if neccessary, and at my next job I was going to have to be out anyways as my old job references are all under my old name... but thank God my next job I'll be able to be myself and not have to cross dress as the guy I used to be instead of the girl I am today  So it's a rough time of transistion and anxiety right now but I'm sure I'll be okay!!! Thanks everyone for your support <3

First off go file for un employment claim. That will give you a idea of why when they get the answer back from work.

Lots of luck.

Izzy

Anytime Kristina. Just do your homework and cover all your bases. It really does seem since you said they a "christian conservative" company that they may indeed be trying to force you to quit to keep from drawing unemployment or anything else you may be entitled to.

That kind of sux that they are telling you not to come in. Sounds to me like they are trying to force you to leave. Don't let 'em until you come out and at least let a few people know for sure that you are transitioning especially Human Resources.

Like I siad just remain calm and cool and give them no reason to paint you as the bad person in the dispute. Or any legitimate reason on their part to let you go. And document everything. Do not delete the texts from your phone. If you can record the phone call, remember it may not be admissable if you do not tlet them know they are being recorded but it may give your lawyer ideas on how to proceed. Don't delete emails that they send telling you not to come in until further notice. Document times, dates, what they said, who said it, what you said, and so on. Again document ever freakin' thing. It does sound like you have a possible if not actual case of discrimination.

Thanks Jess & Mind I feel a lot more calm about it today.

I've been thinking the same thing for a long time now since this treatment's been going on at least since Feb. They know they can't outright fire me so they'll instead just make it an uncomfortable working environment & cut hours until I just leave on my own. 

Feel better that I have a case too.  One more little factoid- the supervisor telling me not to come in was the same one that made sure I got a Christmas bonus last year and not too many people got one.  He went out of his way to say it was because I've always had great work performance.  If that isn't a huge 180 to now I don't know what is.  Plus the hiring of more people who are then given the work I used to have and I'm told to stay home.  As I said before I used to partially take care of the technical / computer side of things but even that they've been outsourcing lately w/o telling me.  Unemployment & savings will keep me afloat though for the time being, not worried at the very least if I can get a case they may get scared into doing a settlement.

Quote from: Kristina77 on July 11, 2014, 05:45:49 PM
Thanks Jess & Mind I feel a lot more calm about it today.

I've been thinking the same thing for a long time now since this treatment's been going on at least since Feb. They know they can't outright fire me so they'll instead just make it an uncomfortable working environment & cut hours until I just leave on my own. 

Feel better that I have a case too.  One more little factoid- the supervisor telling me not to come in was the same one that made sure I got a Christmas bonus last year and not too many people got one.  He went out of his way to say it was because I've always had great work performance.  If that isn't a huge 180 to now I don't know what is.  Plus the hiring of more people who are then given the work I used to have and I'm told to stay home.  As I said before I used to partially take care of the technical / computer side of things but even that they've been outsourcing lately w/o telling me.  Unemployment & savings will keep me afloat though for the time being, not worried at the very least if I can get a case they may get scared into doing a settlement.

Yeah that is a big 180 degree turn that you work perfomance was that good to get a bonus when others didn't and now practically forcing you to quit.

Quote from: Jess42 on July 12, 2014, 09:08:55 AM
Yeah that is a big 180 degree turn that you work perfomance was that good to get a bonus when others didn't and now practically forcing you to quit.

Yep it is. Well, told not to come in now four days running. I was told by the HR lady that she doesn't know why the owners do what they do, and she could only guess why I wasn't being called in... and her best 'guess' was that work was slowing down at the moment.  So, no big surprise they aren't owning up to it.

So they're intentionally keeping me in this gray area.  They're not officially firing me or laying me off... only encouraging me to get unemployment and wait to see if they need me again... without guaranteeing me they'll ever call me in again ugh  So I cannot even say that I'm being fired / laid off.  My hours were just cut to 'we'll call you when we need you'.  Is that even legal?! It's like they want to fire me without actually firing me.

Quote from: Kristina77 on July 14, 2014, 04:03:49 PM
Yep it is. Well, told not to come in now four days running. I was told by the HR lady that she doesn't know why the owners do what they do, and she could only guess why I wasn't being called in... and her best 'guess' was that work was slowing down at the moment.  So, no big surprise they aren't owning up to it.

So they're intentionally keeping me in this gray area.  They're not officially firing me or laying me off... only encouraging me to get unemployment and wait to see if they need me again... without guaranteeing me they'll ever call me in again ugh  So I cannot even say that I'm being fired / laid off.  My hours were just cut to 'we'll call you when we need you'.  Is that even legal?! It's like they want to fire me without actually firing me.

I don't really know if it is legal or not. It would depend upon your state, what is in you contract if you signed one, what the true work load is if you are a Union Employee what is in their contracts with the company. In trucking it is legal, if there are no loads you don't work but that is trucking and falls under a whole lot of other laws and rules.

Yeah it is disapponting and disgusting, I know I have done an on call job, thank God no more though. I really don't know how you could go about it, just hang in Limbo and draw unemployment for the time being. Do you have any friends that you work with that you talk to off the clock? Maybe ask them if your job position is as slow as they say.

Quote from: Jess42 on July 14, 2014, 04:16:01 PM
I don't really know if it is legal or not. It would depend upon your state, what is in you contract if you signed one, what the true work load is if you are a Union Employee what is in their contracts with the company. In trucking it is legal, if there are no loads you don't work but that is trucking and falls under a whole lot of other laws and rules.

Yeah it is disapponting and disgusting, I know I have done an on call job, thank God no more though. I really don't know how you could go about it, just hang in Limbo and draw unemployment for the time being. Do you have any friends that you work with that you talk to off the clock? Maybe ask them if your job position is as slow as they say.

Well I'm not a trucker lol and not in a Union soooo yeah... I think in my state it does qualify as 'intolerable working conditions' or something and I could still draw unemployment if I left.  I'm filling out the unemployment forms now and citing 'lack of work/laid off' with 'put on indefinite unpaid on-call' as the reason for unemployment.  I think legally I'm still de facto being laid off.  I still have keys to the office though presently so theoretically I could snoop for written evidence  / emails during a sunday night or something when no one's around.  Again though it's going to difficult to find hard evidence. I'm going to have to do that anyways as I've a few personal effects there.

I've contacted Lamba Legal, I'll see what they say.  Thanks again Jess! 

Quote from: Kristina77 on July 14, 2014, 04:50:35 PM
Well I'm not a trucker lol and not in a Union soooo yeah... I think in my state it does qualify as 'intolerable working conditions' or something and I could still draw unemployment if I left.  I'm filling out the unemployment forms now and citing 'lack of work/laid off' with 'put on indefinite unpaid on-call' as the reason for unemployment.  I think legally I'm still de facto being laid off.  I still have keys to the office though presently so theoretically I could snoop for written evidence  / emails during a sunday night or something when no one's around.  Again though it's going to difficult to find hard evidence. I'm going to have to do that anyways as I've a few personal effects there.

I've contacted Lamba Legal, I'll see what they say.  Thanks again Jess! 

Your welcome but careful there Hon, those keys may not work anymore. Ask your legal adviser. Even if your keys do work don't go there when no one is there or at night. Even though you may still legally work there it could constitute breaking and entering or they could claim coporate espionage. Go during business hours to get your personal stuff.

California is an "at will" employment state. Technically they can fire you at any time and not have to have a reason.

That sounds really crappy, but it's telling in my opinion that they haven't fired you.

I'm going to have to respectfully disagree that you should go digging into anything you wouldn't normally have access to. You definitely should document as much as you can. Print out emails, save text messages and voicemails. You can stop answering the phone when they call to force them to leave messages.

First thing before you start worrying about getting a lawyer is to contact the EDD. I'm speaking specifically about California here. File your unemployment claim. The first thing the EDD does is contact your employer to let them know that you filed. If they're a crappy company, they'll dispute the claim and then have to explain why. That will be their first mistake.

Also specific to California is that the EDD will do an investigation and if they find reason, use their own lawyers to fight for you. The stuff you see on TV where Gloria Allred or whomever is suing a company on a former employee's behalf is a lot of times a case where they quit first. I'm not saying you won't eventually end up with your own lawyer. Just suggesting you start here and don't get ahead of yourself too much.

P.S. don't discount the harassment that you have been the victim of since you started growing your hair out. That speaks to a hostile work environment and sexual harassment. Read this for reference: http://digitalcommons.law.scu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1287&context=lawreview

The opening of it is pretty extreme, but kind of skim through the whole thing.

Oh yeah! And absolutely do not get your stuff from work. Do not do anything that would give the impression that you're quitting or you feel like you do not work there anymore. If they don't call you, check in with them. Keep in touch with them. You are still an employee. They have not fired you and you have not quit.

Thanks again everyone 

Well, it's a bit tough to explain but I have technically 6 bosses as there are 6 owners to this company.  I have an immediate supervisor though who usually is the one who dictates when I come in etc.  Another boss began to contact me and tell me to come in independently to do work for him, so I may not go forward with this.  He's the only who's continued to be nice to me and I'd hate for him to get burnt by my lawsuit... I'm still not getting nearly the hours I used to though (closer to 1/3 of them), because this guy has the least sway in the company.

I'm in a position where I used to help administer email stuff, so I can (and already did) get into the email, but there was only a couple telling emails and they didn't have any context around it that would make it conclusive evidence to an outside viewer.  I did not get into another's computer or get into any files or anything. I know discrimination is happening, finding evidence is another matter. 

I did however go about filing the EDD claim.  The HR lady encouraged me to do so and emailed me the financial info I needed to file the claim, so they aren't going to dispute my hours slashed to nothing.  I would just start looking for another job, but I'm in the process of a name change so I'd rather kind of wait until I get my papers straight & new ID... I've heard stories of employers refusing to refer to you by your correct name just because it isn't your legal name at the moment... I'd rather not go from one bad situation into another.  I've talked about the situation to a couple co-workers about 2 months ago and all they said was that 'i had better leave soon'.

You made a good point Jessica in California you can be fired for anything- so they could just lay me off, and say it's for an entirely separate reason completely unrelated to the transistion.  It doesn't matter that my work performance has improved- they could come up with something because they've been making other excuses for the hours cut... never mind the fact that there's this increasingly large silent bias / awkwardness constantly around me these past couple months or so.  It's also funny that when I do come in they tell me to come in later in the afternoon when people are filtering out, rather than at 8-9 like I used to.

Wow, that's really interesting though in that link, I had no clue I could have complained because of that. It really pays to know your rights.  One of the employees that harassed me the most is no longer there as of about 7 months ago or so.  A lot of the stuff on pages 268-270 sounds pretty familiar even before transistion time... though in the past few months the fact I'm transistioning has become impossible to ignore soit's just this quiet awkwardness &  bias (kind of hard to explain). I used to generally talk to everyone there but everyone stopped talking to me about a couple months ago.

In any case if they call me I'll come in it's just not as much and I'm getting unemployment now to somewhat cover the gaps... my income has fallen to a fraction of what it used to be but I'm just trying to coast by until my legal stuff processes and I can safely get out of here.  Then again things have taken a sudden turn for the worse before and may do so again- we'll see.  Thanks for your help again everyone.