Hi all,  I'm new here and this has probably already been covered and I'm sorry if this is a repeat, I'm just really freaked out and would like some support/answers.  I am in Seoul and am having my surgery tomorrow morning at 8AM.  I would have posted this sooner but I just got my activation code, so sorry for the lateness of this.  I had my consultation with Dr. Kim on Friday and found out that my vocal cords are asymmetrical, and do not close causing me to only be able to put out a note for a very short period of time.  He also stressed that I will need professional voice training to reprogram my brain so that my voice sounds natural.  Oh, and I have almost no resonance with my voice too.  I was hoping to have this surgery to get a natural feminine sounding voice and now I'm really scared that this is all a mistake and that I will end up with some sort of bad result.  I know that going off of the HRT has really messed with me and that I'm in a huge city and am not used to that, being a country girl and all.  I'm 48yrs. old and just want a favorable outcome.  At least my pitch is in the middle male range so that the end result was supposed to be in a good female range.  Any thoughts, knowledge or advice would be greatly appreciated as like I said I'm really scared and have spent half of my time here crying and wondering if this is all a big mistake.

Hugs darling we are here, you are not alone. I hope some of the Yesson girls come on.

Best of luck and a million hugs!

Thank you both for your support.  I forgot to add that Dr. Kim also told me that I have a tremor and use five times as much force to make sounds as a normal person does.  I never even have tried too hard to talk feminine because it always sounded really bad.  I feel like someone has it out for me and doesn't want me to have my dream come true.  I'm going to basically demand to talk to Dr. Kim tomorrow before I agree to move forward with the surgery.  He said he could fix the asymmetry and the lack of closure with the surgery (don't know how?), but without the professional coaching it would not sound right.  I'm hoping some of this is just me misunderstanding what he is trying to say due to a slight communication error.

Hi! Wow you're just before me, I have my pre-op on Tuesday (so the day after your surgery) and my surgery on Wednesday. I wonder how many Dr. Kim does in a week.

I just arrived today and am also terrified of this city, but if you are in a pinch and need help, or would like me to go down tomorrow and be with you to provide moral support as you recover (I plan to go down anyway to "discover" where it is), even though I'm bad at moral support, and am probably not allowed to be there nor will make it on time for the surgery, feel free to drop a line. Best wishes!

Jessray, if you would like to show up by all means feel free.  I will let Jessie know that you might be there.  My surgery is at 8AM and is supposed to take about an hour.

Okie dokie. Could I have a name that I can say asked me to be there, or do you suspect you are the only patient there?

I will almost definitely not be there before 8am - I have not figured out the train system yet and I haven't slept in a full 24 hours, with the jet lag and all from an intercontinental flight that hasn't kicked in yet. I will try to be there at some point though, for a couple hours before I look for groceries, and if not I'll be sending best wishes anyway! I think it will be nearly evening before they let you go?

Amy Whitaker is my name and I'm pretty sure you are right that I will be there for probably seven hours or so.  I FULLY understand about the sleep. lol  I don't know what your schedule is like but maybe I can be there some for you as well if you want.  My follow up is Friday and I leave Saturday morning.

If you like, but no worries if not! Most of my anxieties come from thinking of surgery in general itself, so it will mainly be tomorrow night, Tuesday night and Wednesday morning that I will have trouble, I think, even though I know that this surgery is safe and pretty darn effective. Though I can't answer the concerns in your original post. My pre-op appt is on Tuesday, surgery on Wednesday, and post-op is next Wednesday on the 30th. I fly off on the 31st.

Amy
It sounds like we have about the same issues with our voice. Dr Kim also showed me that my vocal cord were asymmetrical and did not close all the way. He also told me that it took more air to produce sound then it should have, but the surgery seems to have fixed everything. And a bonus is that with the incomplete closure of the vocal cords I might be able to have insurance pay for some of the surgery. 
As far as the surgery goes your in great hands. I don't think I've ever seem a more professional office then Dr Kim's. I can say from what little I've spoken so far is that it doesn't seem to take as much effort as it did to speak. My voice is weak yet but it's getting better every day.
I'll post the time line graph Dr Kim gave me for recovery. I think it gives a very realistic outlook on what and how long recovery will take. I'm also in my late 40s so maybe we'll have to work on this together. 

Thanx Apollymi.  Does your voice sound okay now, and more feminine?

I would say do not not worry too much - you will most likely have benefit from the surgery in terms of pitch but I think it is true that some voice training is always beneficial - with or without surgery. This is because there is more to a female voice than pitch, but surgery can only adress this. I heard that it is easier to get this trained post op though as you then can concentrate on those things instead of pitch. I would not be scared about voice training though. At least for me, voice training is always also fun and if I can, I will continue it for more time, especially when I can be post op. Basically it is a lot about discovering your voice, using it properly and in new ways and playing and experimenting - it really can be fun.

Something like this could definitely be scary, but my best advice is try not to look at it as there's that small percent that something could go wrong, but rather that there's a much bigger chance everything will be fine, and come out to your wanting. It's like flying for example. There's that small percentage that the plane could crash, making one scared to ride, but that is in severe rare cases, that almost never even happen. Everything will be alright.

I remember their was a Hanna Montana episode I saw, you know, when she was normal, on her getting a voice surgery. Same situation. She was really scared, but they told her not to be, and it turned out just fine for her.

Well it's Tuesday here in Seoul and the surgery went well.  When Dr. Kim re-scoped my vocal chords it looked like one third to one half had been sutured.  I did not have fun with the side effects of the anesthesia.  Dizziness, nausea, headache and almost completely freaked out when I woke up.  Thank goodness I didn't say anything.  Can't wait to eat more ice cream because it feels so good on the throat, and it tastes pretty good too.  Though they where a little mean when they told me no chocolate for three weeks. lol  Thank you so much Jessray for stopping by, it was really great to see you.  This not talking thing is going to be harder than I thought, I have already almost started saying something a couple of times before I caught myself.  Oh I got a chance to talk to Dr. Kim before the surgery and he very nicely explained everything to me and put my fears to rest. Yay!

Nice, glad to hear everything's (assumedly) going well and thanks for staying strong. Was the dizziness, headache and nausea gone by the time they discharged you? What time did they let you go? Are you feeling almost back to full strength now in terms of general activity level? And hey, any excuse to have ice cream is great! I already have a small box in the freezer in anticipation.. taste tested and all too.

I was released at six and the symptoms where still there but better.  I still have a slight headache and am a little worn out, but other than that not too bad.  I'm guessing that by tomorrow I will be back up to 100%.  This morning in the shower I coughed up some phlegm and tried to make sure I coughed right.  At first I was scared that I might have done something, but when there was no increase in pain I figure all is good.  If your ice cream is chocolate make sure you eat it now, because I found out (much to my dismay) no chocolate for at least three weeks. :-(  Oh I also have a little bit of a sore throat and think I can feel the sutures too.  When Dr. Kim re-scoped me prior to my discharge it looked like somewhere between one third to one half got sutured up.  He expects my increase in pitch to occur between two to four months with a gradual improvement after that.

Awesome, glad to hear

Nope it's vanilla, but noted! I wonder why not chocolate, and what other flavours/foods aren't allowed! They just said spicy/salty as far as I could recall in the notes, hmm..

I would guess it is because of the caffeine in it.  I know they say no caffeine for 2 months also because it will dry out the vocal cords.  I went out for a walk around the city some today too.  When I got back I was watching a show and accidentally laughed just a little before I caught myself, no increase in pain but I hope I didn't hurt anything.

Quote from: northcountrymassage on July 22, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
I would guess it is because of the caffeine in it.  I know they say no caffeine for 2 months also because it will dry out the vocal cords.  I went out for a walk around the city some today too.  When I got back I was watching a show and accidentally laughed just a little before I caught myself, no increase in pain but I hope I didn't hurt anything.

Hey congrats on the surgery! I'm right at 2 weeks post-op myself. Don't worry about messing up your vocal folds. From what Jessie and Dr. Kim mentioned, the sutures don't come out very easily, and to do real damage (which you'll know you've done from the searing pain), you have to do something serious like sustained shouting. Just keep following the post-op instructions as best as you can so you get the best results and don't sweat the small stuff. 

Thank you CoderMarrisa, that is really nice to know as I have already spoken a couple of times softly, and then catch myself thinking "oh god, I hope I didn't just mess something up."  So far the only thing I would say that they lied about was saying the Botox injections don't hurt.  I don't know if it was because I couldn't watch the needle like I usually do, or that I was so worked up about having a needle stuck in my throat, but it didn't feel too good.  So far things seem to be going well, still a sore throat but I had swelling at my follow up on Friday and was given additional medication to take for that.  I'm probably like most girls and now just can't wait to try and see what my voice will sound like, but I'll be a good girl and wait.