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Questioning my gender

Started by Dargoon, July 21, 2014, 07:32:25 PM

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Dargoon

I've been questioning my gender identity for awhile, mostly because of some things that have been happening to me. One of them is the strange need to conform to the male gender role even though I'm FAAB, I feel uncomfortable playing video games with female characters and find very difficult in relating to them, I've been feeling jealous of my brothers, I used to always think that I'd know how living in a male body feels like and the only moment I felt completely in the real world(I'm usually "sleeping" most of the time) was when I thought of myself as a boy, I even thought about a future in which I was happy with this in mind. So them here comes what makes me think otherwise: I don't hate my body, I'm okay with female pronouns and find awkward when people use male ones for me and I don't want to transition(mostly because of fear).

Do you have any opinion or advice for me to figure things out?
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androgynouspainter26

Hey,

I read your post, and though I have transitioned, I understand where you're coming from completely!  It sounds to me that you might be what you could call "gender nonconforming"-that is, you don't like society's imposed, constructed rules about gender and the things you like doing seem to fall across gender lines.  I think the first step for you would be to act in a more traditionally "masculine way"-see how you feel doing that, and if it makes you at ease.  It might just be that you feel more comfortable living as a butch woman, one who doesn't care about the societal constructs around gender. Or, you might be trans.  If you feel like you'd be happier living as male, you almost certainly are!  I didn't experience body dysphoria until later on in my journey, I had buried it under so many layers of self-resentment.  But slowly moving into a role you're more comfortable with is certainly the first step.  You'll find an identity that suits you in time-just keep exploring who you'd like to be.
Best,
Sasha
My gender problem isn't half as bad as society's.  Although mine is still pretty bad.
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gennee

Find where you are comfortable then go with it. It will take some but you will find what is right for you. It took me awhile to find where I'm comfortable. I'm not transitioning but I'm very happy where I am.

:)
Be who you are.
Make a difference by being a difference.   :)

Blog: www.difecta.blogspot.com
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