This was a while back but I've wanted to talk about it on here since I had the dream.

In the dream I was very unhappy with my face and I thought I was very ugly, then I went to a plastic aurgeon and I could choose which girl face I wanted him to make me look like.

So I chose a face, it looked nothing like me at all. I think it was an asian face, but it was very pretty and I was aparently happy for while.

But then I became very depressed and I wanted my own face back and suddenly the new face I had wasn't pretty to me at all anymore.

I have a feeling this means something, but I don't know what? Any ideas?

I dont know what it means... never been good with interpreting dreams. But... this is Your life and You can be whoever You wish.
Still, You look gorgeous in Your avi - no matter what .

Quote from: melanie maritz on July 21, 2014, 03:50:37 PM
This was a while back but I've wanted to talk about it on here since I had the dream.

In the dream I was very unhappy with my face and I thought I was very ugly, then I went to a plastic aurgeon and I could choose which girl face I wanted him to make me look like.

So I chose a face, it looked nothing like me at all. I think it was an asian face, but it was very pretty and I was aparently happy for while.

But then I became very depressed and I wanted my own face back and suddenly the new face I had wasn't pretty to me at all anymore.

I have a feeling this means something, but I don't know what? Any ideas?

I don't know ,but maybe being you is more then your looks

I would say that it is telling you that your self esteem doesn't come from your appearance, doesn't matter what you look like you will always be the same person inside. If you want to change about how you feel about what's on the outside work on the inside, once you feel better about yourself on the inside you care less about the external expression.

I have thought a lot about FFS, what would it make me feel like? How might surgery change how I see the world?  When I started to transition I was told to chill for at least a couple of years and see what happened.  Next month I will be two years into HRT.  Now what?  What your dreams says to me is that surgical transformation pales in relation to spiritual transformation.  If I choose the former will that make me happy?  I don't know, I actually kind of doubt it.  I think that beauty radiates from the inside and if that is so, I feel beautiful.

I am not particularly pretty, but I have a lot of friends who make me smile.  When I began to seek out who I was, I could no longer authentically smile. I was a sham and a shell.  That isn't how I feel anymore, and I am beginning to believe that were I to radically alter my outside, my inside would be confused.  I would not willingly change anything that threatens who I authentically am, I would not willingly lose my smile.

Psychic integration came hard for me.  It comes hard for a lot of us.  What would I see in the mirror?  A prettier girl, probably? but happier?  I truly do not know, but I suspect not.

Acceptance is a lot of my answer.  I need to allow the beauty within to shine until it becomes the beauty without.  Perhaps then I will be the Julie that I need to be, and long to be.

Peace,
Julie

Firstly, you are super cute.  Very jealous.

I think the root question you are exploring here is... Which is it you hold dearest-  To be a cis woman, or to be your true self?

For me the trans journey is about becoming more me- matching my outside to my inside so I can be myself and be judged in context.

Wow, those are some very good answers I didn't think of any of those things but now that I think of it I'm thinking one or more of them could be the meaning of my dream, thanks everyone again that was really some awesome and deep thinking, I liked it a lot

Quote from: melanie maritz on July 21, 2014, 03:50:37 PM
This was a while back but I've wanted to talk about it on here since I had the dream.

In the dream I was very unhappy with my face and I thought I was very ugly, then I went to a plastic aurgeon and I could choose which girl face I wanted him to make me look like.

So I chose a face, it looked nothing like me at all. I think it was an asian face, but it was very pretty and I was aparently happy for while.

But then I became very depressed and I wanted my own face back and suddenly the new face I had wasn't pretty to me at all anymore.

I have a feeling this means something, but I don't know what? Any ideas?

I think it means something powerful. It is clear that the dream is telling you that you put yourself down because you subconsciously still think of yourself as less than the other girls, who symbolize beauty, and this why you seek out a totally different face, because you believe a new face, prettier face would make you happier.

In the end, the dream tells you are fine just the way you are and you don't need to become a totally different person to transition, you're still you, you transitioned to be, not to be imprisioned/trapped in your own body once more. This because, despite your 'new face' being prettier, it felt alien to you, it wasn't yours to begin with.  It also tells how little do looks matter. All that matters lies within your heart

Yes it was as if the pretty asian face didn't just look ugly to me , but it also became ugly and distorted but I'm guessing that's how I started to see it

Is that you in the avatar?

I agree, the dream is your Self telling you to not change your body to fit some external vision of beauty...all people are beautiful in their own way, and most (even TS people )don't need an entirely new face. Maybe small changes here and there, but that's all.

imho

I don't think it was ever my goal or my plan to change my face entirely, I just want the small changes that most trans girls have done like the forehead and maybe my nose and lips

oh and yes that is me in my avatar picture

Quote from: melanie maritz on July 22, 2014, 08:42:34 AM
I don't think it was ever my goal or my plan to change my face entirely, I just want the small changes that most trans girls have done like the forehead and maybe my nose and lips

oh and yes that is me in my avatar picture

OMG girl, you do NOT need any ffs...I'd love to be anywhere close to looking like you...as it is I look sorta like Fred Flintstone, except my nose is bigger, and veers to the left side.

Count your blessings!

It's funny, I want to also say you are stunning and don't need ffs... but I totally understand it doesn't much help with hating our misaligned secondary sex characteristics.  I have like zero bossing compared to most tgirls but I still want it shaved off.

but hey Mel... have a big bag of self esteem- you are super cute!

I'm no dream expert, but I know that usually dreams are actually telling you something due to something that's been going on, or happened during that day. Like if you were really getting freaked out thinking there was someone who wanted to kill you, you could possible get a dream or nightmare where they found you! So bassed off of looking at it with that mindset, it really seems like inside you are not happy with yourself for some reason. But you did say this dream was a while ago, so perhaps it's not true anymore, or ever was true. But think about it, cuz I want to know, have you ever had any feelings (real life) of not liking your looks? Have you ever felt you looked different? If this is true, I personally think what your dream is trying to tell you is to stop thinking that way. It's telling you that you ARE beautiful just the way you are. You want to "change your face" but your personality deep down doesn't want that. It wants to stay the same. Perhaps you were thinking you don't look how you wish you might have, but other people can tell you, that you don't need to change who you are, because you are beautiful just the way you are.
That's what I think the dream was saying at least.