Quote from: Lara1969 on July 23, 2014, 07:22:31 AM
I had FFS in March and two weeks ago SRS. FFS was by far the larger step for me. I know pass nearly 100%. My largest challenge is still my voice but I work on it.

SRS is by far the more painful event. :-( For me it is like the dot on i. I am not finished until I had SRS. In three months when everything is healed I can just take a shower in the gym. With a feminine face and a vagina I will pass even with my maleish body, I am only a few months on low dose HRT and only one months on full HRT.

Lara

Yes, it would be great to be able to shower in the women's showers and to be able to use the women's restrooms.

You can use the women's restroom a lot sooner than that.

(I actually even showered in a women's gym pre-op. Emergency situation [literally, it was a tornado] and I was panicky as heck, but I did just fine; women's rooms only *very* rarely have those open showers where everybody's in the same room. In fact, my situation was about as bad as it gets, since it was a high school gym and they'd taken the shower curtains off... still nobody noticed anything because I was paranoid-careful.)

Quote from: Samantha007 on July 22, 2014, 09:14:55 AM
Well, those ones are called ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s, not straight guys who would appreciate you for your femininity. They are guys who like mtf's just because of their love for penis. I am a  post-op woman, and I don't get any of the ->-bleeped-<-s (thank god for little favours!). A guy who likes me for my hated parts can have a hike, but again, I don't have any hated parts right now. I have something -among other things- that attracts the right guys for me. If a guy likes me, then it would be a straight guy. I never tell them about my history, and that is my choice and prerogative.

hugs,

Samantha xx

Well I want what's between his legs.  Does that make me a ->-bleeped-<-? 

This is something that crosses my mind every now and again, the amount of variety of opinions and desires between us always surprises me. For me, it just seemed so cut and dry. "Do you a penis?" No, easy question. "Do you want a vagina" yes, easy question again. However the levels of annoyance the anotomy causes kind of fluctuates, but ultimately it's just a question of ho much pain (and money) am I willing to deal with to get the end result I desire. I suppose I could live without it if it just never became an option for me. But it would always nag at me and be a constant bother. So if I can find the money, and mental fortitude to deal with the pain, I believe I will go through with it.

The pain is really an issue for me. I did not expect that it is so painful. But I avoided to think too much about it vefire the surgery. Because I do not wanted to make a descision based on fear. I am very sure I will be lucky woman in the future, I identify myself as a woman.
I am happy that I had SRS two weeks ago. I am pretty sure in a few weeks the joy will be much larger than the pain. Currently my feelings are mixed. After having FFS I wad euphoric during the next days and weeks. I think SRS will have a positive long-term effect on my mood.

Lara

Do they give you prescription grade pain killers for that?

Yes but I do not want to take too much painkillers. Two weeks after surgery I am pain free when I wake up but dilation causes much pain. Tomorrow I will be released from hospital and I am pretty sure to feel better when I am at home. I will be more relaxed which makes dilation more comfortable.

Lara

Quote from: Lara1969 on July 23, 2014, 12:15:50 PM
Yes but I do not want to take too much painkillers. Two weeks after surgery I am pain free when I wake up but dilation causes much pain. Tomorrow I will be released from hospital and I am pretty sure to feel better when I am at home. I will be more relaxed which makes dilation more comfortable.

Lara

thanks for the information

Quote from: TaoRaven on June 21, 2014, 04:49:57 PM
Vital. I have never felt like the equipment I was born with belonged there, and it causes me no end of grief.
I want to be whole, and to have a chance at a normal life like any other woman.

Perfectly said.

Quote from: Lara1969 on July 23, 2014, 07:22:31 AM
I had FFS in March and two weeks ago SRS. FFS was by far the larger step for me. I know pass nearly 100%. My largest challenge is still my voice but I work on it.

SRS is by far the more painful event. :-( For me it is like the dot on i. I am not finished until I had SRS. In three months when everything is healed I can just take a shower in the gym. With a feminine face and a vagina I will pass even with my maleish body, I am only a few months on low dose HRT and only one months on full HRT.

Lara

My gender markers have been changed to female on my driver's license and all my other documents so I'm now safe in doing so but I've been using women's rest rooms for years now. This doesn't negate my desperate need for my SRS which I'll be having before the end of the year most likely in December. My level of genital dysphoria demands I have SRS. I've not only waited long enough, but have been alone far too long, and it's impossible for me to have the level of intimacy I need from a relationship without it. So for me despite how I look and how far I've come SRS means everything.

Allie

Quote from: Lara1969 on July 23, 2014, 07:22:31 AM
I had FFS in March and two weeks ago SRS. FFS was by far the larger step for me. I know pass nearly 100%. My largest challenge is still my voice but I work on it.

I am only a few months on low dose HRT and only one months on full HRT.

Lara

I am curious about this. I thought you needed a year of hormones before you could get SRS.

I'm really glad that I had the orchi.  I feel like the dark cloud that once followed me everywhere has been completely obliterated.  I can't believe how happy I am, and knowing that this feeling will never go away is nothing short of amazing.

Here's the thing though- I'm now 99% sure about needing SRS. 

Funny, this is something I've been thinking about a lot of late.  Particularly since next year my health insurance will probably cover it.  I will have it done.  Not because of any deep hatred for my penis, but it comes down to this.  Girls are not so equipped.  I am a girl.  Surgery will validate that.  Have the surgery.  Kind of a butchered syllogism, but one I can relate to. 

Oddly enough FFS which was my obsession is no longer a show stopper.  I have been accepted by my peers as Julie.  That is becoming just a non issue.  Nobody kicks me out of any bathroom.  The occasional misgender that happens is more annoying than deflating.  I dunno, I guess I'll see how I feel in a few months.  It will take a while to put the money together, maybe I'll buy a car instead.

Quote from: LordKAT on July 23, 2014, 02:45:13 PM
I am curious about this. I thought you needed a year of hormones before you could get SRS.

If she went under informed consent and paid out of pocket, or, went out of country to say for example, Thailand to have her surgery done she wouldn't need two letters or have to be on hormones for a year. In fact, some Doctors here in the US only require one letter even if insurance is footing the bill. They are however few and far between. Also, surgery is most often based on the needs of the individual such as in my case. My IS condition negates the need for two letters or the 1 year on hormones waiting period. I'll be having my SRS this December, possibly even in November depending on scheduling availability which, for me will be just shy of the 1 year mark on hrt.

Allie

It has and will always be very important to me. I dream of the day when my appointment day has arrived and all my things are in order, my checklist complete. I know there will be great discomfort afterwards, and I purposely tell myself it will be so painful that I will want to pass out each day. I do this so that when the day arrives, the actual discomfort will be nothing like what I blew it up to be and I will say "oh pooh that was easy!". And then I will have a brand new spanking whatever year model Kitty. I will be able to comfortably wear all my swimsuits, panties, jammies, all and everything without fear that I am exhibiting a bit of camel toe cause I refuse to 'tuck'. And if I am showing camel toe, it will be a real camel toe! I also know I will be visiting the Korean health spa and go fully nude for my massage because I can; and I'll look at the girl next to me and tell her not be shy because we all have the same thing. And then the sex... wowee wow -- my imagination is always in full throttle for those thoughts. So what's keeping me from it? Money for now, but not for long. I often wonder how my husband will handle it. He always felt I was so 'special'.. and after GRS will I be extra special or ordinary? I think it will be extra extra special, but he just won't say so 'cause he loves me for me... silly ole me!  Sometimes I wonder if I could love him the same if he had a vagina... oh girlfriends... I don't know.  Crazy huh?   But the question is how important the surgery -- it is very important. Especially as one ages. Health issues arise, doctors need to see everything, accidents can occur, emergency rooms loom before us...  these things scare me a bit. My worst nightmare is having an accident and I am unconscious and my clothes are being removed without me being able to preface anything verbally.  Yup, its important.

Really important. However I try not to think about it and focus on my other road blocks right now because my lower dysphoria sucks. Plus tucking sucks. I don't think I'll ever be able to have sex comfortably with a penis. Let alone comfortable around a guy with it.

Dear LordKAT,

Dr. Schaff (my srs doc) required me to be in the HRT for at least six months. My health insurance wanted to take over the cost after my legal sex and name change. Therefore the short time since starting HRT was not an issue.
Surpringly I managed to start HRT, apply for and finish change of name and sex , have FFS and SRS within 7 months. Now I need time for recovery and find myself.

Lara

Quote from: Lara1969 on July 24, 2014, 12:44:27 AM
Dear LordKAT,

Dr. Schaff (my srs doc) required me to be in the HRT for at least six months. My health insurance wanted to take over the cost after my legal sex and name change. Therefore the short time since starting HRT was not an issue.
Surpringly I managed to start HRT, apply for and finish change of name and sex , have FFS and SRS within 7 months. Now I need time for recovery and find myself.

Lara

I don't know if my being IS might negate the need for two letters. I'm having a hard time finding a therapist close enough to me for my 2nd letter. So I'm thinking seriously about using one of the online gender therapists that hold your appointment over Skype because the nearest gender therapist is 2 hours away. I can't afford that kind of fuel expense monthly, let alone bi-weekly or weekly. Has anyone used one of the online gender therapists?

Allie

It's very important to me.
When I was younger, I didn't mind my genitals. Wasn't really something I ever thought about. When I got to my early-midish teens, I came to the conclusion that I'd been somewhat shafted with regards to my sex, including my genitals. Didn't think there was anything I could do, so I just accepted being unhappy.

As I went through my teens I tried to make the most of it, but in the end found myself generally trying to ignore/deny its existence and explored other avenues sexually. A few times I tried playing mind games with myself with a crude application of psychology and makeshift aids. The goal being to temporarily adjust the way I experience sensations down there. To sort of twist my perception so that it somehow felt closer to a vagina than a penis. Came close enough that for a few minutes on one occasion, I could actually believe it was a vagina.

Before starting transitioning I knew that this is the route I would probably be going down. Now, 8 months in to hrt (just E, no T blockers currently :/ ) it's perhaps the most distressing issue I have. As some aspects of my body have changed, now that I've been full time for a while, I feel like I've made some wonderful progress. But the total lack of change regarding my genitals and the fact that grs will probably be 4 years away minimum, due to money, it's wrecking me.
Like I was just starting to get some speed with building a life and then BAM! Ran smack bang into a spiked brick wall. I can only move forward so much without it. I'm certain that exploring relationships for the first time in my life would be unbearable in this state. Both because of my genitals and that I'm lesbian so my partners genitals would be a painful reminder of my own state. So I still feel that parts of my life that are very important to me are passing me by/still off limits to me. heck, these two points and the intersection between them has probably been making me *feel* worse than I did before. Definitely crying instead of sleeping more than before.

So yeah, the TLDR of it is that as I'm transitioning, it's becoming even more important. As some of my dysphoria about my body eases, my genital issue just shine brighter with less distracting me from them. And cause relationships can't happen like this.

For me it was very important

I started with HRT with the plan to have SRS... I needed to complete the transition and SRS.

I wanted to be complete, and pass 100%.... HRT gave me curves, breasts, softer skin and feminine features... I am a real girly girl, love shopping, shoes (especially 4inch heel boots or sandals), clothes, makeup, painting my nails and grooming myself. having a penis .. well sounded so wrong. Plus I wanted to gym and be able to shower at the gym.. or have a steam with the girls... wearing nothing but a towel.. its hard to hide a penis.. and.. be able to sunbath by the pool in a g-string bikini was a challenge to hide.. I was tired of trying to hide my penis.. so practically the thing was a pain.

plus I want to be a wife to a man someday and I want to be able to give him a good sex life and you need a vagina for that, oral sex, which i love giving, can only take you so far

I am post-op and I am very happy with the results, my vagina has passed the realism test as I have slept with a guy since surgery.

I do feel complete and I am a real woman.. the only downside.. I cant have kids. I would love to be pregnant and feeling the baby growing inside me.. but that not going to happen and I have accepted that.. when the time comes I will adopt and give some child a very happy home.

But then who knows... medical science is evolving.. they are experimenting with transplanting uterus's, without real success.. just maybe... in 10 to 15 years it might be possible to transplant a uterus into a post-op t-girl... I am only 24 now.. so in 15 years.. I will be 39.. and still young enough to carry a child... but this is me dreaming.