Quote from: Edge on July 23, 2014, 08:32:15 AM
Huh. That's odd. I choose my friends based on personality rather than orientation. I'd much rather be friends with guys whose personalities are compatible with mine and for whom both of our orientations are a non-issue than gay guys who I have nothing in common with.

Of course. My personality is often very compatible with gay cis guys, and why shouldn't it. Ideally, I go places where I meet gay guys that have the same interests as me. If I can't find any in my area, that's problematic (happens mostly when living in smaller towns. In the big cities there are groups and networks for anything and everything).

Quote from: Edge on July 23, 2014, 04:06:51 PM
Maybe. Honestly though, I met my boyfriend through something that I was invited to by a straight friend and it was an event that had nothing to do with orientation, so again, I fail to see why it matters.

That's an ideal situation when you know lots of non LGBT people who are 100% understanding and open to LGBT issues.
It's probably also an age thing. When I first came out, straight and gay were mostly segregated, nowadays it seems a lot more mixed. As was said: if your whole environment is non-gay though, you won't find someone to date there.

At the moment, for technical circumstances, I'm mostly surrounded by straight people. They are nice and non-homophoic, but dating has become a huge problem. I'm not into online dating, so I'm really depending on meeting people through friends etc. But most straight people I know don't know that many queer people.

xsmittyx, you write you're an athlete. Do you maybe have gay sport clubs in your area?
Living in smaller towns and dating can be problematic for cis gays too, but totally hear you. There are some gay men who are into a more natural lifestyle. A trans friend of mine recently found his cis partner online, and they've gotten a house in the country now. I don't know how it's in the US, but over here we have interest groups on dating websites.
Generally, it's much easier to date when you have common interests, instead of going into a situation with the sole purpose of meeting someone.

Another thing about cis men- it seems that gay men who have had a later coming out, then dated men for maybe ten years or so, are very happy with trans men. They generally prefer men, but find it easier to mentally adapt to trans men than those who have never come near a woman and feel they might loose they gay cred or be swallowed by evil vagina . Several long term partners of trans men I know fall into the first category, so I think that's no accident.

solexander- I'm older and I've made the same experience (so have my friends who are age groups 25-50). The only exception would be the older generation that grew with really transphobic politics in the 1970s.