I am a ->-bleeped-<- (27 years old)..As usual I love wearing women clothes,Makeup Wig etc..I am very much turned on when I dress in female clothes..I masturbate..The thing is I want to evaluate myself and please ..i want your help...I am really terrified that I might be a transexual (no offence). When I watch a video where a  male switches body with the female and enjoys that body...and videos in YouTube a male transition to female via hrt I really get turned on..when that end result of female is convincing but I get disgusted When I see the final result is not convincing as to say a masculine female( no of fence plz understand). I live my life normally when these things don't happen.

When any of these episodes like cross dressing and watching transgendered videos I really get turn on that's where MY FEAR STARTS that I might be a transexual.

I don't want to transition I want to marry a girl ..father a child and die like a man..but the thoughts when I'm turned on by watching these videos or cross dressing my thoughts were different they slide towards becoming female and wear a dress and feel sexy...the MAIN EROTIC HERE is Wanting to wear female clothes and so changing to female would make it more erotic...But if I am out of erotic zones like these. My feelings were different..I was really stressed and depressed for the last two years that I might be transexual...It's a disgusting nightmare changing to girl and attracting to male..I know orientation will not change..but I saw somewhere according to autogynephyllia a heterosexual can change their orientation  while they transition.

I know if I don't want to change then don't change..BUT MY UTMOST FEAR IS I HEARD AUTIGYNEPHYLLIA IS A LATER TRANSEXUALITY WHERE THEY CHANGE THEIR SEX AROUND AFTER THIRTY FIVE AND ABOVE YEARS.I Don't want to Transition ..I am having aniexty,OCD issues what will I be when I'm 35 and above..plz plz plz I don't want to be transexual. Please tell my condition. Can I have normal male life or my alter ego takes over me.I'm facing these issues for about 2 years. I went to psychiatrist but I didn't get much help...plz tell me my condition..

If you look in the reference library on this websight in the psychology section it will explain a lot about what you do and why you do it. Some of it may indeed be a little dated but it will explain the specrums of transgender from crossdressing all the way to being transexual to going full SRS. But definately what Emily said, seek a good gender therapist. Not psychiatrist but a therapist that specializes in gender issues.

Since it turns you on in a sexual way when you wear female clothing, I am not the least bit turned on when I wear female attire I just feel normal, you may just be dressing as a form of stress releif.

You said this has been going on for two years. You don't have to say but think of anything that happened that was really significant about the same time in your life as you started dressing in women's clothing.

I personally think you are working yourself up into a tizzy over nothing. Either you are trans and desire to be your preferred gender, androgynous, non binary or just be your birth gender and escape the stress of the real world for a while and be someone else for a short time.

Seriously though, the reference library here especially the part about psychology can explain a lot to you and where you fit into the spectrum.

Thanks everyone for the answers....I will check those links

And jess I'm facing anxiety and ocd issues from last 2 years..but I started wearing women clothes at age 15...even though I never came out and the episodes are not so frequent may be once a year... Iam 27 and haven't settled yet so may be stress is also an issue..I will look into that psychology section..thnks

Quote from: sarathchandra on July 25, 2014, 12:32:57 PM
Thanks everyone for the answers....I will check those links

And jess I'm facing anxiety and ocd issues from last 2 years..but I started wearing women clothes at age 15...even though I never came out and the episodes are not so frequent may be once a year... Iam 27 and haven't settled yet so may be stress is also an issue..I will look into that psychology section..thnks

The anxiety and OCD issues just one day popped up? Or was it like a slow build up over time? OCD is indeed a strange demon to battle. Personally I have never experieced OCD. Anxiety yeah. OCD could be leading you to dress more and more. Since you have been crossdressing since you were 15 and have experienced the anxiety and the onset of OCD when you were 25. Think back of any experiences that could have brought it on. It probably isn't crosdressing unless you have felt guit or shame over that and it grew into a monster. You don't have to say on here but only to yourself.

What do you mean you are 27 and haven't settled yet? Are you talking about settling down and getting married and having the kids, the McMansion in the suburbs and so on? Or haven't settled on what you want to do or how far you want to take it and so on? The word settling actually bothers me a little because it has two meanings, settling down and having a family or settling for less than you capabilities.

Hell I'm in my forties and even though I settled and locked everything away for a while got married, never had children, I am back to being unsettled and free. And I love it. I can take off today and hit the west coast or head out to see the big apple. But I do have some priorities and need to be here but no really binding comittments.

Even if you are transgendered, it's not the worst thing in the world that could happen to you. the worst thing that could happen in my opinion is to be in an explosion of some kind and losing both legs and arms, sight, hearing and speech. Like the Metallica song, One. That would be my worst nightmare.

Quote from: Jess42 link=topic=170014.mstar73#msg1481773 date=1406311991
The anxiety and OCD issues just one day popped up? Or was it like a slow build up over time? OCD is indeed a strange demon to battle. Personally I have never experieced OCD. Anxiety yeah. OCD could be leading you to dress more and more. Since you have been crossdressing since you were 15 and have experienced the anxiety and the onset of OCD when you were 25. Think back of any experiences that could have brought it on. It probably isn't crosdressing unless you have felt guit or shame over that and it grew into a monster. You don't have to say on here but only to yourself.

What do you mean you are 27 and haven't settled yet? Are you talking about settling down and getting married and having the kids, the McMansion in the suburbs and so on? Or haven't settled on what you want to do or how far you want to take it and so on? The word settling actually bothers me a little because it has two meanings, settling down and having a family or settling for less than you capabilities.

Hell I'm in my forties and even though I settled and locked everything away for a while got married, never had children, I am back to being unsettled and free. And I love it. I can take off today and hit the west coast or head out to see the big apple. But I do have some priorities and need to be here but no really binding comittments.

Even if you are transgendered, it's not the worst thing in the world that could happen to you. the worst thing that could happen in my opinion is to be in an explosion of some kind and losing both legs and arms, sight, hearing and speech. Like the Metallica song, One. That would be my worst nightmare.

At first I thought it was just pleasure But when I saw about autogynephyllia I was worried And went to depression for about 3 to 4 months.then I went to psychiatrist he diagnosed me with ocd.I didn't know when it started

I felt guilt after cross dressing I can't push everything on ocd.You are living in a free and open minded country. But here in my country its different...transexuals only occupation here is prostitution...believe it or not here women above 25 years rarely wear skirts they wear saree's and chudidhars....if she wears a skirt they see her lil different ....imagine the position of transexuals..but these are not the reasons for my fear...I want to live normal male life..worry is don't know where these things take me in the future.

And settlement I mean no job and haven't married yet.

In my personal opinion, you need to see a therapist instead of self-diagnosing yourself. From what you've said, it sounds like your feelings are purely sexual in nature, which is not the same as having gender dysphoria. Again, I'm not a professional, which is what I believe you need to be seeing, specifically one trained in these issues who can help you figure out what's going on.

Quote from: sarathchandra on July 26, 2014, 03:06:50 AM
At first I thought it was just pleasure But when I saw about autogynephyllia I was worried And went to depression for about 3 to 4 months.then I went to psychiatrist he diagnosed me with ocd.I didn't know when it started

I felt guilt after cross dressing I can't push everything on ocd.You are living in a free and open minded country. But here in my country its different...transexuals only occupation here is prostitution...believe it or not here women above 25 years rarely wear skirts they wear saree's and chudidhars....if she wears a skirt they see her lil different ....imagine the position of transexuals..but these are not the reasons for my fear...I want to live normal male life..worry is don't know where these things take me in the future.

And settlement I mean no job and haven't married yet.

First off I really agree with Declan that you need to see a therapist that specializes in gender issues.

Second. I would not worry too much about autogynephylia. When I looked it up I saw a lot of keywords like psuedoscientific theory and so on so I would chalk autogynephylia up as a BS theory.

Third is that there is nothing wrong with escaping from the stress of the real world for a while. Nothing wrong with masturbation and what turns you on. *unless it is something nonconsensual between two adults or hurts someone and so on. There is absolutely nothing wrong with crossdressing, you are not the only one and you may be surprised at what some of your neighbors do behind closed doors. Or anyone for that matter. Even our illustrious leader or the FBI in the 50's I believe was a supposed crossdresser. There are people that like to dress in diapers and be treated like babies. There are people that like to relinquish control and be submissive with a dominate partner. A lot of these people are in high power positions, high stress jobs or just high amounts of stress in their lives. And they are all completely normal people in every sense of the word. It is way more normal than what you think it is. It is a form of escape, transforming into something else and getting out from under the pressure for a while.

Dressing female does not turn me on the least little bit. But I can kind of understand why it does some people. Womens clothing is generally softer, more form fitting and wearing the right combination gives a more sensual feeling about yourself. I feel more normal wearing it and it actually fits me way better than male clothing.

I know you have a fear of becoming transexual, meaning living as your opposite gender than your birth gender but how normal are we all that are talking to you? I bet if you stick around you will find out that we all are just as normal as any cisgender person you will meet. Definately more accepting than a lot of them and just as varied in thoughts, ideals, lives, backgrounds, education, politics and anything else you can think of as anybody else.

But seriously though if it is causing such a conflict in your life or guilt or making your OCD and anxiety worst, you need to see a professional therapist perferably knowledgable in gender issues.

BTW, this country isn't as open minded as you may think. Sure there are places but there are other places that are just as close minded as the country in which you live. But the times are changing though and hopefully for the better.

The  ->-bleeped-<- diagnosis is highly suspect. It's only a handful of scientists who made it up, and they have a very bad repuation. Where I live no scientist has ever heard about it and nobody is taking it seriously. So don't believe everything you read.

It you dress for the sexual thing and don't feel like a woman in daily live (in all nonsexual situations) why should you be transsexual?
Wanting to feel a female body during sex can be just a kink. You really don't have to transition for that.

Relax, take a deep breath. First find a good gender therapist. He/she can explain it better.

If you dress for erotic reasons (and there's nothing wrong with that) but you don't want to be a woman for all the mundane times in life, chances are good you are not transsexual. Your anxiety seems more about not wanting to be a transsexual than Gender Dysphoria having to live as a male when you feel female.

The theory behind autogynephylia is that you are so in love with women you want to be one. While it may be a reason for a small number of males who wish to transition, it IS NOT the norm and doesn't really fit the description of most transsexuals, but a good gender therapist can help you sort that out.

Chill,

Do you enjoy being a man? If you do, then you are probably not trans. You sound like a normal guy to me.
And i'm pretty sure autogynephylia was debunked as total BS.

Quote from: sarathchandra on July 26, 2014, 03:06:50 AM
At first I thought it was just pleasure But when I saw about autogynephyllia I was worried And went to depression for about 3 to 4 months.then I went to psychiatrist he diagnosed me with ocd.I didn't know when it started

I felt guilt after cross dressing I can't push everything on ocd.You are living in a free and open minded country. But here in my country its different...transexuals only occupation here is prostitution...believe it or not here women above 25 years rarely wear skirts they wear saree's and chudidhars....if she wears a skirt they see her lil different ....imagine the position of transexuals..but these are not the reasons for my fear...I want to live normal male life..worry is don't know where these things take me in the future.

And settlement I mean no job and haven't married yet.

I used to be like you, except I started at like 5 yrs old. I had feeling of not being in the right body though. When I turned 12 or 13 it changed to wear I started getting turned on by the clothes, I guess bc of puberty. I finally accepted that I was transgender, but to this day I still get turned on wearing clothes, I know I am not a crossdresser just trying to fulfill a fantasy. I am lesbian bc I am mtf, I am attracted to females. I don't get turned on everytime I dress, I actually have to think about it in order to get aroused.
Other than that I feel normal when dressed. But I am a little freaky lol. Transgender does not fit into a mold, we are not all gay men, we are not all misguided crossdressers, I know cigs ended females that get turned on by wearing thigh highs, heels or lengerie in general. So if your turned on by dressing doesn't mean your not transgender, however if your feeling guilt and regret after wards then your probably not trans, or is it religious reasons? Also a lot of men get that regretfull feeling after ejaculation, that's testosterone for ya. I had depression and anxiety, even tried to eat a shotgun at one point, until I accepted I was trans, and I didn't want it for a fetish or fantasy, but wanted it bc it was what I knew deep down. Listen, your not going to hell for being a crossdresser or transsexual, you have to come to a point where you honestly know who you are. It took me 27 years. And another three to say screw it I'm transitioning no matter what. Now I'm probably gonna lose my wonderful wife, my family, and half to move, but it's worth it, bc I can't be fair to my wife by not being happy and staying in this male form, also she didn't sign on for this.she thought she was getting a man. I turned out to be a woman, she is gonna let me take hormones, but she thinks it's just for my mental health, it is but it's also to transition, I even told her I wanted to transition, but she only would agree to it if I don't transition. So I know more than likely after 6 months or more when I start looking more fem, there is gonna be a problem. My point being is if you marry a woman who does not know that you may have gender issues, and you get caught croasdressing, or you figure out that you are trans then you're going to hurt her in the long run. Trust me I am in this boat, and now we are about I have a baby in about a week. So I am going to have to deal with split custody, child support and everything else that goes with. What I am saying is yoire no good to anybody like that, and when you meet a girl that you want to date, be upfront that your trAns or you think you might be. And if your honest with her it will work out better, don't have kids right away, don't marry her right away, be with her a few years to see if she is gonna stick around, bc she might think she is okay with it now but if you are trans and once you know it you'll want to transition she might not stick around for that. I hope you can figure yourself out, it's the hardest thing anyone can do.

I say just enjoy being who and what you are and not put a label on it. I know that is hard to do but you can do it. I consider myself very transgender because of all my inner feelings that I want to be a woman, I do get aroused wearing female clothes as well and I love to go shopping for female clothes as well. I am not in a hurry to make choices that I might regret and I am happy for the most part as a male but I am also happy dressing up and acting feminine and going onto chat rooms and losing myself as a woman. This winter I am going to go see a gender therapist as well as go to a couple transgender meetings and just get a hold of who and what I am.

I do know that I want to eventually dress as a woman and go out in public and to just see how that goes without worrying about how total strangers view me. Getting the confidence to do what we want is the hardest thing I feel and you just have to go with how you feel about things and go from that, sorry if thats not the advice you are looking for. Good luck