Quote from: YinYanga on July 25, 2014, 03:43:03 PM
Good luck with the funeral Julia, that will be tough event to sit through

Oh, and I forgot having to assist to church. God damn it.

Julia my heart is there with you. I'm very sorry to hear about your Grandmother. And more so to hear of how your family is treating you during this difficult time. Best of luck to you with the funeral and with dealing with the church.

Allie

Panda Express just opened today, which means that I didn't get the job.

This isn't all bad news since here is some good news https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,161722.msg1482064.html#msg1482064

now to the bad news

My neighbor accidentally called me he while I was out as myself with my purse, female voice and lip stick on. This was at said fast food joint and I just tried to ignore it and act as if nothing was wrong, she of course stopped herself after saying he but, yeah.. good thing I don't at there too often..

In addition to that, maybe this is the med but, been feeling kind of down today, just haven't been feeling well and, certain things have triggered some depression for me in regards to me and transitioning. I wish I could be more happy with the trip to town and what all I bought/eat today but, I just can't, again thanks to depression and such but, trying to stay positive, I do think its the med which I'm not going to take after somewhat being informed by nurse and a different doc not to take it.

My laptop charger not arriving yet.

Someone I knew said about me, that I was a " desparate, pathetic unpassable gay guy" and afterward they said, "you're welcome."
Recently a woman who I thought a friend lost my number and was  asking people if they had seen me. Her description "a man with epic boobs and hair like someone who gave up on life"
A trans person told me to give up, get my boobs cut off or just kill myself as I was wasting my time.
I have a file of hurts and slurs.
It's why I defend myself viciously. 

Quote from: Wynternight on July 25, 2014, 11:19:57 AM
I have TMJ and my jaw locks and clicks all the time. About 10 years ago I was at a punk show and someone kicked me in the face stagediving and knocked my jaw back into place. It lasted about a year. Best kick to the face at a punk show EVAR!!

Haha how convenient. I wouldn't mind a kick in the face if it solved my problem, even for a little while. My jaw has been doing this on and off for the past year or so, and it's really annoying 

Quote from: StevieAK on July 25, 2014, 09:36:38 PM
Someone I knew said about me, that I was a " desparate, pathetic unpassable gay guy" and afterward they said, "your welcome."
Recently a woman who I thought a friend lost my number and was  asking people if they had seen me. Her description "a man with epic boobs and hair like someone who gave up on life"

I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you.You don't need friends like these Stevie. A friend who can't or doesn't respect you isn't a friend.

Allie

Quote from: StevieAK on July 25, 2014, 09:36:38 PM
Someone I knew said about me, that I was a " desparate, pathetic unpassable gay guy" and afterward they said, "your welcome."
Recently a woman who I thought a friend lost my number and was  asking people if they had seen me. Her description "a man with epic boobs and hair like someone who gave up on life"

If I ever found that person on the street, I would kick her face in.

Quote from: Allyda on July 25, 2014, 09:52:45 PM
I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you.You don't need friends like these Stevie. A friend who can't or doesn't respect you isn't a friend.

Allie

I know they aren't friends. They pretend they are, hang with me as I'm kind of like the circus. Pretty fun to go see once but once you've seen the show....well how many elephants do you need to see. 

Quote from: Neospector on July 25, 2014, 10:11:06 PM
If I ever found that person on the street, I would kick her face in.
Back in the day...I may have felt that way. I've been in jail for stuff like that...I like me better now. What hurt is that I knew both of these people and not just passing comments. The guy was trying to get me to whatever and I wouldn't.

You look great by the way, congrats on your progress.

Thanks for your support.

Quote from: Neospector on July 25, 2014, 05:11:00 PM
Panda Express just opened today, which means that I didn't get the job.

Exciting then as better things await! I wish you success in the hunt.

Quote from: Neospector on July 19, 2014, 08:26:48 PM
Yeah, that's what I was thinking but they made me second guess myself in saying such things.
I can't afford to be picky anyways having no actual work experience anyways.

Would it be bad if I just omit having a Bachelor's degree on my resume for places like McDonald's, Starbucks, etc?

I hire alot of people and have for thirty years. The only draw back I'd have is I'd think " am I going to invest time and training on this guy and have him leave when something better comes along"  tell the truth but give a commitment.  Say I will stay at least this or that long, always give good notice, always be on time and never leave early. One may think they get away with stuff, they dont. Ive hired guys just because they never gave up and kept trying to get hired and i got sick of telling them no. Just my two cents.

Seems like you are really giving an effort, it will happen.

Quote from: StevieAK on July 25, 2014, 10:49:22 PM
I hire alot of people and have for thirty years. The only draw back I'd have is I'd think " am I going to invest time and training on this guy and have him leave when something better comes along"  tell the truth but give a commitment.  Say I will stay at least this or that long, always give good notice, always be on time and never leave early. One may think they get away with stuff, they dont. Ive hired guys just because they never gave up and kept trying to get hired and i got sick of telling them no. Just my two cents.

Seems like you are really giving an effort, it will happen.

I don't know, I feel like I don't know whether to omit the Bachelor's Degree or just saying I'm still in college. Maybe my interview skills just sucks and my answer for why I want the job isn't adequate enough.

Quote from: StevieAK on July 25, 2014, 09:36:38 PM
Someone I knew said about me, that I was a " desparate, pathetic unpassable gay guy" and afterward they said, "you're welcome."
Recently a woman who I thought a friend lost my number and was  asking people if they had seen me. Her description "a man with epic boobs and hair like someone who gave up on life"
A trans person told me to give up, get my boobs cut off or just kill myself as I was wasting my time.
I have a file of hurts and slurs.
It's why I defend myself viciously.

I really hate people like that. That's beyond just discrimination. It's not just hating someone for a reason they disagree with, but treating them as if not a human for it. It really irritates me. Please don't ever think about believing it though. People like that will never go anywhere in life if all they can do is ruin others. But I know it's not true about you, and you should know that too, because those who can overcome it, are the ones that get better rewards.

Quote from: Neospector on July 25, 2014, 11:20:16 PM
I don't know, I feel like I don't know whether to omit the Bachelor's Degree or just saying I'm still in college. Maybe my interview skills just sucks and my answer for why I want the job isn't adequate enough.

Tell the truth so you can look them in the eye.  Explain your financial needs, If I know someone needs the job I will choose them over someone that seems arrogant. I want to know the guy will be on my team and support my goals...Idk

I'd have to see you in action to see what if anything you are doing wrong.

Try and be confident and be yourself.

Quote from: Sam314 on July 26, 2014, 12:19:07 AM
I really hate people like that. That's beyond just discrimination. It's not just hating someone for a reason they disagree with, but treating them as if not a human for it. It really irritates me. Please don't ever think about believing it though. People like that will never go anywhere in life if all they can do is ruin others. But I know it's not true about you, and you should know that too, because those who can overcome it, are the ones that get better rewards.

Hey thanks, 
When i was hit with the "desparate...." I thought about checking out and but for the love of my wife I would have....I did not choose this path for my life and fought hard against the need to do change. All it takes for me to survive is just a hint of encouagement but very hard for me to get. 
Im not man enough for the world and not trans enough for trans people. Im too old ugly and hopeless but yet I go on.  I really dont know how some days.

Quote from: StevieAK on July 26, 2014, 12:33:12 AM
Hey thanks, 
When i was hit with the "desparate...." I thought about checking out and but for the love of my wife I would have....I did not choose this path for my life and fought hard against the need to do change. All it takes for me to survive is just a hint of encouragement but very hard for me to get. 
Im not man enough for the world and not trans enough for trans people. I'm too old ugly and hopeless but yet I go on.  I really don't know how some days.

The world may see what you describe. But I don't see looks. I see personalities. I see someone who had to go through a lot, and was so strong to keep going. I see someone who has true beauty, because true beauty only lies withing. That's why the world will say those things. They can't see it because they are afraid to look. I see it though. And if I can see it, how much more so can your wife. I can certainly feel you have a very strong love. Something that is hard to find. You do have a purpose, and are important. At least to that one woman. And you only need one. You only need one to give yourself meaning. So so what what others say. They will never have what you have. They will never have inner beauty.

Quote from: Sam314 on July 26, 2014, 12:39:20 AM
The world may see what you describe. But I don't see looks. I see personalities. I see someone who had to go through a lot, and was so strong to keep going. I see someone who has true beauty, because true beauty only lies withing. That's why the world will say those things. They can't see it because they are afraid to look. I see it though. And if I can see it, how much more so can your wife. I can certainly feel you have a very strong love. Something that is hard to find. You do have a purpose, and are important. At least to that one woman. And you only need one. You only need one to give yourself meaning. So so what what others say. They will never have what you have. They will never have inner beauty.

Well said ^^___^^. There's been a lot of hype on this site lately surrounding looks. But true beauty lies within as Sam said. No matter how beautiful someone is on the outside, if they aren't a loving caring person they're ugly on the inside, which, makes them just plain ugly be they cis or trans it doesn't matter. You have a wife who loves you Stevie and also it sounds like you hire people who really need work and your not afraid to give someone a chance. You have qualities that these days are rare. So just ignore those ugly people and move on. Your better than them.

Allie

Stevie

Wow  I felt so angry just reading of your treatment by your 'friends'.  You are quite an inspiration.  Suspect that there would have been some serious consequences if these comments had been made about me... which isn't very classy and definitely not a good thing.  Well done.  Its one step at a time and you can always choose which comments to take onboard and which friendships  to invest in.

Aisla