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Uh.....Okay?

Started by echo_artist, July 25, 2014, 10:35:40 PM

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echo_artist

I noticed my partner and I have WAY better connections when we're the opposite sex.
My only problem is that when I'm on masculine terms, I feel more possessive over them.
I know it's from previous experiences and me fearing someone harming my baby.
Any advice on how to relax that anxiety and me fusing them to my hip?
I feel like I don't let them breathe when we're out.
It's okay.

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EchelonHunt

If you haven't already, communicate with your partner about your feelings, especially from previous experiences and the fears you have of someone harming your partner.

Whoever hurt you or your partner in the past cannot hurt you or your partner again. The risk of being attacked will always be there but if you are together in public, the risk is significantly lessened than if one of you were to walk alone in the dark. This goes for anyone, regardless of identity. It's normal to feel protective of your partner but when protectiveness crosses over into the line of possessiveness, you need to step back and have alone time to carefully re-evaluate yourself.

If you don't already, learn to trust your partner and have coping methods in place to fight against the anxiety. If thoughts crop up, try not to feed into it as it will make it worse. Distractions can help and expressing yourself also helps to lessen the severity. Keeping it bottled up and festering into it will only make matters worse (not implying you are, just speaking from personal experiences).

Hope this helps, I wish you luck!
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echo_artist

You're right. I always kept my gaurd up and I would wind up pull them around because of the
people I've encountered. Holding them in a more comforting manner would probably help the
both of us. We're not running from anyone.  So I can relax on that note.
I think it was the fact that last month(Before and after Pride week) and growing up, I was being told
I was going to hell and other nasty things everywhere I went.
I've always had that situation that made me clothes up completely.
But, they went to places that welcomed anything but ordinary. So their outlook is way different than mine's when it
comes to being out about it.
Think I should learn from them. ^_=;
Thanks for that eye opener.
It's okay.

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