Hello everyone.  My name is Skye.  I am a woman.  It seems strange to type it.  My body is male.  When I was a child I was comfortable with myself. I played with the other girls at school.  For Halloween I went as a witch one year. I played with some of the boys too. In 4th grade we moved and I changed schools.  I got beat up for acting like a girl. The next few years were hell. I didn't know how to act.  I retreated into books.  I didn't know what was wrong with me.  After high school I went into the army.  I jumped out of airplanes for a living.  I got married to a great woman.  I have suppressed who I am. I suppose it would have been easier to know what was going on with me if I was a straight woman.  Being attracted to women masked the dysphoria.  It makes sense that most of my close friends are lesbians.

I'm scared.  I know I am going to have to have a courageous conversation with my wife.  I have a year before I have to have it because I'm getting ready to go to Afghanistan.  I'm in a Barracks with 30 people and I feel alone.  I'm glad I found this place.

Hi Skye 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

I can relate and feel for you on many levels

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Hugs

V M

Skye

Welcome to Susans.  Many of us share similar narratives and we wish you well.  It may be tough to find therapy while posted overseas but there are plenty of folk here and a lot of useful information that should be helpful.

Normally recommend that you spend the time to really understand who you are, how you identify, your options and your preferred path before opening up to your SO.  Early on it can be in part overwhelming, confronting and certainly confusing so take your time and do the work.

Hope the tour goes well.

Safe travels

Aisla

Welcome to the site! Really hope everything ends up going good for you. Hope you find your courage. And just so you know, there are many trans people who still like girls, I being one of them. Being trans doesn't mark you as to the gender you like.

Welcome Skye to Susan's

Thank you for your service to your country.

I sure would ASAP talk to a Gender Therapist and come up with a plan of action.

I know will be hard in military. Just do what you can for your health.

Wish you a safe tour.

Hugs

Hugs!

There are many girls here with prior or even current military experience.  Ask them.  I haven't served in any military in my life, although I took Army ROTC training in college for more than a year, so I know at least something about it.

I concur with the other girls here...do your homework before you "come out" to important people in your life...

I live in Latin America now as a University Professor.  I have a beautiful genetic (cis) girlfriend who is 26, and she likely will move into my apartment about August 15 she tells me she wants to.  She accepts my developing breasts.  I am only 6 weeks into strong HRT (female hormones), but just in the last few days both males and females have started staring at my rather obvious small breasts and protruding nipples.  Wow is it amazing I feel great to have people stare at my breasts!



If you learn that you are if fact female, these hormones are very powerful, and will MAKE you even more female, both physically and mentally.  The changes are truly effective and amazing, and beyond my dreams -- especially the mental happiness and euphoria, for me at least, and maybe for you.

If your female significant other is accepting, then it is fine if you transform your body into a girl you can still be attracted to her and love her.  I speak from my own experience that I still feel attractive to, and love, my beautiful 26 year old genetic (cis) girlfriend.  Just note that my sex drive went WAY down just 3 weeks into HRT (taking female hormones), so be ready for that, if you decide your are female gender.

A big hug, and welcome to our family here!

Johanna.

Hi Skye, welcome to the extended family

I concur with Aisla and Isabell, you need to sort out a few things for yourself before taking further action. You have a year before your tour, try to find a therapist now, get in some time on the couch. In the meantime, be careful about letting any of this out "in the barracks".

fair winds and following seas...

Quote from: EllieM on July 30, 2014, 12:41:27 PM

Hi Skye, welcome to the extended family

I concur with Aisla and Isabell, you need to sort out a few things for yourself before taking further action. You have a year before your tour, try to find a therapist now, get in some time on the couch. In the meantime, be careful about letting any of this out "in the barracks".

fair winds and following seas...

I concur with Elle, Skye...some environments are so "macho" male, such as military barracks, that you might have significant ridicule if words were to get out before you were to be totally prepared.  That said, ASAP as Elle says to determine if you are female gender, before you are in a pure military barracks situation.

I don't know for sure, but in the US military and maybe the military of some other countries, they may not accept trans-girls, entering.  You would have to investigate this more.  Does anyone else know anything about this?

I don't know what military policy is if you are ALREADY conscripted or volunteer for the military, and then start HRT female hormones...does anyone else know the rules about this point?

Embraces,
Johanna.

I'd face not just ridicule if I was outed. I'd loose my career, and my retirement and my health insurance.  Being trans is an instant discharge.