Apparently, drinking when you're in the midst of depression is a bad, bad idea. Don't do that, people.

Not sure what made me think this was a GOOD idea.

Definitely not a good thing.  Alcohol is a depressant so it will only make the depression worse.  Suspect it isn't a good time to mention the hangover either!

This thread actually made me a lot happier than I was when I clicked on it. It's not schadenfreude, I think I just was getting into a bad headspace where it felt like I was alone in having problems at all.

My main problem right now is just that it's late. I know I'll be tired tomorrow, but I don't want to wind down because I know I have to be a perfect person again during the day and it feels so nice to not be that person right now.

Quote from: StevieAK on July 26, 2014, 12:33:12 AM
Hey thanks, 
When i was hit with the "desparate...." I thought about checking out and but for the love of my wife I would have....I did not choose this path for my life and fought hard against the need to do change. All it takes for me to survive is just a hint of encouagement but very hard for me to get. 
Im not man enough for the world and not trans enough for trans people. Im too old ugly and hopeless but yet I go on.  I really dont know how some days.

You're comments sure seem like my own echo! Hang in there Stevie, it's obvious that you're a good gal with a kind and loving heart for your spouse and those that really matter. Friends are always few and far between, keep in mind that the rest of the crowd are nothing more than acquaintances whose thoughts, comments and opinions will always be meaningless five minutes later anyway as they have no hold or sway over your life and who you are to those that really matter.

Brat with a BB gun

i accidentally headbutted my dog. she was asleep. i was cuddling her. suddenly she wakes up and jerks her head right to where mine was. i apologized to her profusely and checked her for head injuries.

now i kind of have to laugh. this is typical for her.

Having to buy a new pair of guy jeans because I need new jeans and I'm not ready to present female at work yet. Also, my wife suggesting the more male of two options for just about anything that comes up. She's still in denial.

  I am broke for such a long time , yet I managed to survive . The last period was too difficult , I am struggling to get a meal , and I am off Estrogen for more than a week already  ,  just on AA  ,  so I feel terrible and I am so bitchy  .  I am trying not to post some things other users would be offended of  . 
  Yet I still maintain some hope , it is a weird and sad hope and optimism sensation , but at least I didn't give up completely yet  .

I'm trying to work on getting my voice to a proper range while still keeping it sounding natural, but it hasn't even been close for me. I used to be in choir, so I'm used to controlling my voice. Unfortunately, that's only worked for singing with me. If I try talking there, it sounds like an unnatural falsetto voice no matter what I do. These training videos I've been trying haven't been helping either.

So yeah, that's bringing all my happiness from earlier back down again. I hate my deep baritone voice.

Quote from: big kim on July 26, 2014, 10:25:11 AM
Brat with a BB gun

Hearing this without context made me smile. I hope it turned out okay, though.

What made me unhappy today was realizing that my arm might not heal. I had bad carpal tunnel problems after a couple of falling injuries where I landed on my hands, and maybe it was made worse by using power tools at work, and it was definitely made worse by testosterone increasing the blood volume in my tiny wrists, so I had surgery on my left hand a few months ago. Surgery on the right hand needs to happen next, but the first surgery went badly.

The doctor said he "bumped into" the median nerve, and that it was no problem and I didn't have to worry about it. He pointed out how difficult it is to work in such a small space and said that complications are common. Even when it took weeks to regain sensation and motor function in my hand, and the majority of the postsurgical pain I had was in my upper arm, he said it was fine. He kept saying it was fine no matter what I said or asked. He tried to refer me to physical therapy but my insurance doesn't cover it, and I don't see how that could help now even if I could get it. I currently have good strength and range of motion in my hand, much better than before the surgery, but if I use my left hand much my forearm burns like fire for days. I don't know how to accept living like I only have one hand.

Hope your doctor is absolutely sure and not disinterested in your worries (Sounds a bit like it)

Fingers crossed for you Felix

I'm sorry to hear that you're in this situation Felix
Perhaps you could go for a second opinion on the effects of "bumping into the median nerve" before you consider surgery with this person again.
Right now my right shoulder is playing up, so that it's painful and draining to even lift the arm (when the shoulder isn't popping out of it's socket)
I hope that your arm recovers soon *awkward one armed hugs*

What made me unhappy today?
I woke up after very little sleep in order to try and make an appointment with my GP practice.
This involves having a phone in hand by 8am and hitting redial until you get through (in practice 8-15 minutes).
This morning I got the message "Your surgery is currently closed..."
I've checked the calendar and it's not a bank holiday so I have no idea why they're closed

I hurt my hand.  Also, I got a philly cheesesteak and fries but I didn't like it.  What a waste of $6.47.  I should have gotten Chik Fila.  The price of a Call of Duty: Ghosts game I was looking at on ebay went up.

There I was having a beautiful sail on the Sound when a loud bang (like a gunshot) broke the calm and the mainsail and boom start bouncing around like crazy - Seemed like forever to get the boat turned into the wind so I could determine the problem - A block had shattered releasing a control line - Certainly pulled a dark shade down on a delightful day

be well
jennifer

Realizing that if I want to afford my surgery in 6 months, I need to work 200 hours per monthly pay cycle.

It's a week into the pay cycle and I've worked 44 hours already...as long as there's a lot of work freed up I will be able to achieve my goal but frick. -_- I hate that everything is so expensive and I hate being a man with such large boobs. It could be something I'd deal with whether I was cis or trans, my brother has quite bad gynecomastia...so that's a small comfort but it's still a slap on the face.

I spoke to my mother today, not really knowing why, since her advice is and has always been "Quit feeling sorry for yourself." I wish I could.

It's strange how six months can feel farther and farther away with every day that passes.

Won't be doing the trip now.

Oh well...life sucks and then you die.

Absolutely nothing.  It was a wonderful day.  Couldn't find a single thing to complain about.  Will try harder tomorrow.

Aisla

Quote from: Aisla on July 29, 2014, 02:34:09 AM
Absolutely nothing.  It was a wonderful day.  Couldn't find a single thing to complain about.  Will try harder tomorrow.

Aisla

Count me with you on that, if ever I'm unhappy it's because I made myself feel that way, so I don't ever bother to go there.

I, I, I think I might have a bald spot on the back of my head near the center but still visible to the public view. Not sure if it is or not but, I don't recall it being there before, thought it might just be where the hairs divide to the left, right etc. Still not sure but, if it is a bald spot then..

Also, I have been losing like 30 hairs a day, especially when I shower, I wasn't losing but half this amount, now that my hair is longer, it doubles.. is this normal? (I'm not on E btw)