Ciara,
I know how it feels like being in a dark place alone. Personally, I first connected online with the early trans groups on IRC, then I finally made the appointments for therapy. Letting it all out to someone felt like lancing a boil - oh so painful to open up, but I felt so much better afterwards.
You have your release, and that's great, but it sounds like you are looking for more. I hope you find your path.