hello, just checking in and saying i'm still alive. i limit my post to one a day or every other day. so i'll check in later.

Why are you limiting your posts?

I apologize if I have upset you with my previous posts.

i try not to hold grudges so its not anything anyone did. its me really. i limit myself for personal reason really but i do owe an explanation or at least a short reason. after the whole blow out, i decided to space myself for now and i'm finding it helping that i do. in other words, separation is keeping me alive. so  just post to say i'm alive, other than that, i'm off hiking  mountain

Just breaking my silence and saying i'm alive. Doing a hella lot better than i was before. Well back to my silence. Laters

Well my dad took away my internet for 3 days for not getting a hair cut so I didn't notice, but hope that for whatever reasons you are doing this it helps you.

Quote from: Sam314 on July 29, 2014, 01:49:55 AM
Well my dad took away my internet for 3 days for not getting a hair cut so I didn't notice, but hope that for whatever reasons you are doing this it helps you.

well i dont feel like i shouldnt be here right now. after what happened, i find myself to be a triggering factor so until i get myself together, i should just stay away. but yea. for an update, i finally met up with my actual primary yesterday and she is on board with whatever i need done so i squared that away. just had to give that update. well, cya

Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on July 31, 2014, 08:39:28 PM
well i dont feel like i shouldnt be here right now. after what happened

Exactly what happened? 

Glad to hear things are progressing.
Don't flagellate yourself - anything we post here could trigger.  You need support as well you know, and isolating yourself isn't going to help.

Sometimes isolation can be good in the right doses, for the right reasons.

Do what you need to do, and I hope that you can feel comfortable in places of support and in general.

Aren't you also riverstrong? I though so cuz you look like each other but maybe I"m wrong so I'm sorry but it's all very confusing.

@Emily29: No, we are 2 totally different people but i do kinda see what you mean
@pianoforta: i'm well aware that isolation isnt good in excessive amounts. the only reason i do it is because i want to forget and if i take myself out of it, i'll eventually forget about it. i have a very very sort memory capacity so if its not constant, it'll leave me like it was never there.
@Jessica: well than its better left unsaid and not mentioned than.
Update: well, there's not much to say. all i feel is a blah feeling. those types of blah you feel when you just dont care anymore, but yet again, my sig is totally what is describing me. oh well. thats all for my update. laterz   

if you just want to let people know that you're alive, without involving yourself much in whatever's going on in people's lives, or having to write about your own... the thread that can't be derailed will be good for that. drop us something off-topic once in a while. write something sensible in other threads only when you're not about to be triggered.

well, that works for me though. maybe not for you.
but i'm glad to see you keep visiting once in a while, and that you've started to look for a balance that works for you.

#1... You manage to answer the easiest of questions.
#2... You show an awareness and then disregard it as if it doesn't exist.
#3... You totally fail to answer the real question asked. Are you afraid of the answer?
#4... You write a signature that is nothing more than a woe is me, again.
#5... An even worse feeling must be the illusion you are working under, another invitation to a pity party, one that isn't moving forward, it is standing still and hoping that someone will pull you out of it, when that has already been done, been handed to you over and over. If it is all that you are thinking about, then act on it. It's time to stop thinking about it and think about moving forward.

Once again, you are being given good advice and yet choose to ignore it and wallow in self pity, asking others to help when doing so is a trigger for them.

Stop it.

You're talking about how YOU trigger yourself, when you are triggering others by making them feel guilty because no matter what they say, you turn it around and place the blame of yourself on them.

Read and learn, stop expecting others to magically help you when you resist helping yourself.

Nobody can help you if you don't start to help yourself move froward in a real an tangible way.

Nobody can support you if you don't accept the help you are given. Look back and you will find every thing that you have been asking for, explained in more detail than wallowing in self pity deserves. Stop talking about it and start walking forward, we are patiently waiting for you, not another update on how you are unwilling to move forward.
Life can be tough, it's even tougher when you do nothing about it.
It's so much easier when you accept the help that is being offered, the help you have asked for.
Ativan