Hi, I'm Chris and I'm a guy who looks like a woman on the outside.  (And it took me about a thousand typos to get that out. Feeling exposed much? Yes, I am.)

I'm older (like over 50) and just now consciously looking at all the pretending and faking I've been doing all my life to fit in.  I've been researching FtM transitions and a lot of my searches bring me back to this forum.  So, as I'm getting past the research stage and into the 'what/when/how' stage I'm hoping to ask questions and take reassurance from those who've made it through transition.

Thanks to everyone who shares so generously through this forum.  Even through lurking, I've got a lot of comfort and hope as well as information.
Chris

Hey Chris!

Welcome to Susan's No need to feel judged or ashamed here, we're all in the same boat and 100% supportive of your journey of self discovery. Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

Please check out the following links for general site info...

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Cheers

Grace

A big warm welcome to the family Chris! This is a very special place that you just might find yourself calling home. I know I did. Do not be afraid to ask anything that affects you at all. We are here for the good AND bad days so come to us anytime! 

Thanks for the welcome, Grace and Jessica
I checked out the links before I registered and found some excellent guidelines there.

Not feeling judged and being accepted is going to be a good thing. 

I'm only out to about three friends and they are half in denial and the other half worried I'll do something I'll regret--even though my friends know I'm not the impulsive type. So, not complete acceptance there.

I'm worried more than anything.  Life is going to change in a drastic way when I  come out to my spouse--who is not going to be okay about this.  So, big dramatic family/friend changes are going to happen before I can get on too much further with my personal changes.  I think it's going to be a dark and scary ride for a while.  Seeing all the people who have taken that same rollercoaster ride and who are happy now gives me great courage.
Chris

It's not easy a lot of the time - but the pay off of feeling like yourself and being true to yourself can be very rewarding.

I will admit it took a lot of pain to get to the happiness. I lost a 16 year marriage and a daughter to transition. There will be a lot of dark days ahead, but that is what we are here for, to help you stay on the path safely by providing an outlet. I will say a lot of the drastic changes were more built up in my mind than actuality. I had coming out as a big King Kong type monster, but when it came down to it the situation was not half as bad. Sure you may lose some family or friends, but what I personally gained was far greater than the losses. It will show you who are true friends versus false friends. Personally I went from a handful of friends when they needed something to a lot of friends who will drop everything for me. It is not a cake walk, but living as the true you will be a wonderful life giving event. 

Hey, Chris -- welcome.

It's great to see another older guy here. (I started transitioning about a year ago, and I'm over 60.)

I've also spent a lifetime pretending to be a woman, and it feels fantastic not to have to do that any more. I feel incredibly lucky to have a supportive partner and friends, but oh, lor', it was scary when I was just coming to terms with the idea of transitioning. I was so afraid of being rejected by everyone and ending up completely isolated.

Quote from: Jessica MerrimanI had coming out as a big King Kong type monster, but when it came down to it the situation was not half as bad.

Exactly.

This place really is a family. There are a lot of kind, wonderful people here, so you've come to the right place.

Thanks, Ty, for joining in the welcome.  It's good to know I've got so many people with so many answers and experiences.  I really appreciate such a warm reception from everyone here. 

Chris