irl it's more women. it's mostly because of my curves, can't connect with men who see me as an object of sexual desire. though there are a couple guys that i can connect pretty well with.

online, i feel much more at ease talking to guys. online, i can choose to be me, and i've found that insults taste a whole lot better when they're directed at the real me, than at this person everybody sees me as irl. i much prefer being called tiny and weak over dumb and blonde.

I've always been more comfortable around guys.

Even being raised as a girl, their culture eludes me. I never did fit in well with them.

Quote from: Arram on August 01, 2014, 11:35:25 PM
I've always been more comfortable around guys.

Even being raised as a girl, their culture eludes me. I never did fit in well with them.

Arram,
      My spouse has told me the same thing about herself when I questioned her about her not wanting or caring to have girlfriends like so many other born females, as it turns out any female acquaintances she has are initially friends of mine that I chat with. She sees me as her androgynous guy and it seems to work for both of us since I'm not into labels and gender boxing.

Quote from: Shantel on August 02, 2014, 12:55:18 PM
Arram,
      My spouse has told me the same thing about herself when I questioned her about her not wanting or caring to have girlfriends like so many other born females, as it turns out any female acquaintances she has are initially friends of mine that I chat with. She sees me as her androgynous guy and it seems to work for both of us since I'm not into labels and gender boxing.

It's always nice to be reminded that I'm not the only one

I'm glad it works for you guys. Labels can have their uses, but they're rather limited when compared to the vast complexity of human experience.

I have tended to get along with females alot more, I only have one long term male friend whom I have known for 23 years and counting, but our communication is very sporadic like we will talk on the phone every few months now. I went to his wedding a few months ago and in away viewed it as my letting him go as a friend so he can focus on the new chapter in his life. I should add he is supportive but I worry that I would be seen as the freak friend by his other friends and so I am drifting away from him abit as a way to protect him I guess. But yes most of the time my friends have been and are women. I have have one or two online male friends and a tonne of female online friends.

I've always been able to and prefer to connect with females on a much deeper level. I became phobic of talking to girls around puberty and felt inferior to them. My social phobia was much more intense back then but I found it extra hard to talk to females or would just freeze. I don't feel inferior any more and I'm able to socialise with anyone that I want to talk to.

In general with women more than with men. I find it hard to have a 'loose' conversation with men, not sure what to talk about. With women I just tend to go with the flow and would starts a conversation much easier

That said there are exceptions, the way someone expressed themselves is important, Ive met women that gave me shivers and men I'd want to hug in admiration

I've always been more comfortable around women than men. I was never shooed away when my female friends had "girl talk" and my opinion was asked frequently. My eyes have been asked for on more occasions than I can count when it came to outfits and matching shoes/jewelry/accessories, even with the women in my family. Aside from a few very close guy friends, most of my closest friends are female and they were excited when I came out.

Even romantically, I just...can't date men. I don't know why, but I can't find that connection. It doesn't help that as a woman I identify as a tomboy/Xena type, but will still dress the way I want (not in typical tomboy clothing, more akin to "girly girl" clothing, I love skirts and dresses) while still liking what I like (eg: wrestling, action movies, war/military movies, etc). I'm a walking paradox of sorts.

i very rarely have male friends and generally don't connect with men at all. i also feel very uncomfortable around them because i want to be read as male, but i know they don't see me that way.
the vast majority of my friends are girls. i enjoy the company of women a lot more. i think part of that is because i was socialized as female and that's something that's hard to change.

In theory I connect equally well with men and women, but in practice the majority of my friends have been female.

Who I connect with more really isn't gender-specific; I don't think. If they are male then we'll get along best if humor stays constant between us and we don't discuss sexual escapades (of which I have none), the "joys" of having dangly bits, and they are not trying to swindle me into watching football or going to a strip club. It's important to keep things intelligent, funny and emotionally relatable. If they are female then it's the same deal: no sex talk, keep things funny and intelligent, and no drama. I guess I do find it a lot more comforting around women. I always have, really, but everyone still gets equal opportunity. We either have chemistry or we don't. The more shallow your attitude on life is, the less we're going to hit it off.

Quote from: sororcaeli on August 18, 2014, 02:21:06 PM
Who I connect with more really isn't gender-specific; I don't think. If they are male then we'll get along best if humor stays constant between us and we don't discuss sexual escapades (of which I have none), the "joys" of having dangly bits, and they are not trying to swindle me into watching football or going to a strip club. It's important to keep things intelligent, funny and emotionally relatable. If they are female then it's the same deal: no sex talk, keep things funny and intelligent, and no drama. I guess I do find it a lot more comforting around women. I always have, really, but everyone still gets equal opportunity. We either have chemistry or we don't. The more shallow your attitude on life is, the less we're going to hit it off.

Another excellent response Arin, you're batting 300 today!

Quote from: Shantel on August 18, 2014, 02:41:04 PM
Another excellent response Arin, you're batting 300 today!

Hehe, thanks! Sometimes I just have really good days. Plus, my creative juices are starting to flow again, and that kicks my wordplay in high gear. I also have ADHD meds these days which have slowed my brain down to a tolerable speed, so my clarity of thought is also in full force. I have a feeling I'll have to give them up, though, once oestrogen starts to dominate.

I enjoy a wide circle of friends and acquaintances but feel closer to folks living over the rainbow.  Some straight and cisgender people get it but those of us who have lived in a marginalized minority status get it even better.  I find gender mostly irrelevant to friendship and love.

I prefer to hang around people who are emotionally mature regardless of gender, but women tend to form an emotional attachment to me easily because I lead by example (since I have a male presentation). I seek people who are able to receive and give back on a balanced level.

I avoid people who:

• Are conversational narcissists
• Are unable to take critical feedback
• Are energy vampires
• Are emotionally abusive
• Have poor boundaries

I like to talk to people who know how to ask questions and like to get to know me. I like people who can take critical feedback so we can work on our relationship (regardless of whether its a friend or significant other). I like people who give back positive energy to me in various ways and make my life brighter. I like people who respect me and do not emotionally abuse me. I like people who have good boundaries as they tend to be more emotionally stable.

Because of varying and changing emotional maturity levels, we sometimes outgrow our friends or other people we know, including our parents possibly. We therefore need to always reach out to find friends who are on the same wavelength as us, who support us, and who help us to live sustainable lives. I always try to guide my friends down the right path when they're having troubles. In essence, I like to reach out to people regardless of gender and make meaningful relationships that are beyond the superficial.

Quote from: tatiana on August 19, 2014, 11:51:55 PM
I prefer to hang around people who are emotionally mature regardless of gender, but women tend to form an emotional attachment to me easily. I seek people who are able to receive and give back on a balanced level.

I avoid people who:

• Are conversational narcissists
• Are unable to take critical feedback
• Are energy vampires
• Are emotionally abusive
• Have poor boundaries

I like to talk to people who know how to ask questions and like to get to know me. I like people who can take critical feedback so we can work on our relationship (regardless of whether its a friend or significant other). I like people who give back positive energy to me in various ways and make my life brighter. I like people who respect me and do not emotionally abuse me. I like people who have good boundaries as they tend to be more emotionally stable.

Because of varying and changing emotional maturity levels, we sometimes outgrow our friends or other people we know, including our parents possibly. We therefore need to always reach out to find friends who are on the same wavelength as us, who support us, and who help us to live sustainable lives. I always try to guide my friends down the right path when they're having troubles. In essence, I like to reach out to people regardless of gender and make meaningful relationships that are beyond the superficial.

You win the Lovliest Person Of The Day at Susan's Place Award for that fantastic post. I would totally hug you if I could. I thought I was alone.

Quote from: Lyric on July 27, 2014, 10:57:24 PM
I've never been comfortable befriending males who do the overly masculine stuff, nor have I really ever hung out with women who do the totally girly thing. Luckily I've never had much difficulty in finding people whose personalities are not strongly gender influenced.

I can relate somewhat.

Generally, I have no issues connecting with people of any gender.

EDIT: tatiana said is best.

Quote from: Lyric on July 27, 2014, 10:57:24 PM
I've never been comfortable befriending males who do the overly masculine stuff, nor have I really ever hung out with women who do the totally girly thing.

Same here. It's all about balance, and those two extremes just feel uncomfortable. I have a room mate who is the epitome of hyper-femininity. Here's her Tumblr: http://riacatherine.tumblr.com She's an odd combination of histrionic personality, child-like immaturity and meme-worthy adorableness. She's almost constantly in Princess Mode. And then there's one of my guy roomies who isn't really "macho", but he's full of testosterone. He listens mainly to thrash and punk music, wears a spiked vest, and always plays with swords or his crossbow. Neither personality really vibes with me enough to want to hang out with them, but we get along well enough to coexist.

I've always been drawn towards femininity with an edge; the kind of personality that embraces and expresses their femininity with grace, but speaks their mind with ferocity and stands up in the face of oppression. The masculine form and personality doesn't appeal to me at all. It's not something I've ever resonated with. I have very "manly" friends, but we don't hang out if they're going to watch a game, go to a sports bar, or go to a strip club. And yeah, they'll talk about the typical stuff around me, but all I can really do chuckle or roll my eyes with a grin.

If I'm hanging out with any of my female friends I definitely feel a lot more comfortable, but they don't really go into super girly mode. We just talk about life, personal goals, dreams, relationships, TV shows, food, art and make each other laugh as much as possible.

It's really kind of weird to me to relate so much more with women and not have any romantic or aesthetic interest in men. I'm not saying it is weird as some kind of absolute. It just initially seems a bit contradicting when you're transitioning MTF; except in my case I'm far less feminine in demeanor. It outweighs any masculinity I have, though.

So, basically, I have the brain of a lesbian. I wish more people could understand how that's possible instead of saying, "so you're basically just an effeminate straight dude, then." I'd say there's a huge difference between simply being more emotionally receptive + less testosterone-powered and feeling/knowing that there's a girl inside who is grudgingly piloting a Teselecta that's stuck in the form of a male. (By the way, that's a Doctor Who reference. The Teselecta was android spacecraft that could shape-shift into any life form convincingly. Sorry, it was too great of an analogy not to use.)

An effeminate cis male isn't going to suffer dysphoria, peruse the internet for everything trans related, join a trans community forum, and decide that HRT is something beneficial for their mental health. I also highly doubt that an effeminate cis male would create a blog for the purpose of viewing and reposting trans and lesbian subject matter, women's goth fashion, androgynous and feminine portraiture, and artistic photographs of flowers. But who has the time to think about all those specifics, right? If your hips are animated when you walk, your posture isn't all over the place, your personality is far left of manly, Monday Night Football sounds like a great excuse to hide away with a book and a cup of tea, and yet you find women attractive, then you're just a straight guy who just spent a little too much time with your mommy as a child. 

Anyway, sorry about the tangent. I never fail to have a novel's worth of thoughts.