I am thinking of going full time as a female but I have children two boys ages 11yrs. old and 6yrs. old and one girl 4yrs. old and I am afraid of the possible negitive impact this could have on them. I am afraid that I would be putting my happiness ahead of thier wellbeing and i don't want to do that! but I also try to teach them to be honest and live thier lives in an honest way and I feel like a hypocrite telling them that and not doing it myself. I love my children and I am sure that they would come to terms with it very quickly but I am just not sure the right thing to do! any advice or insight would be very much appreciated! THANKS!!

Hello Jessie,
   I am IS and my children are 7, 5 and 4 and are well adjusted to my real self (woman). I am happily married and my wife and I answered their questions without hiding the facts from them.  My children tell me they love me and still hug me as much as possible. Lately I noticed our 4 yr old crossing between the term daddy and the term mommy for me. We force nothing on them in terms of my title (mom or dad). We feel our children will actually be more well adjusted to the world for the simple fact that they see any struggles I ram into trying to be accepted and how it hurts when people turn against me so that when they meet someone who is 'different' someday somewhere they will remember and accept easier rather than follow the 'crowd'.  It is actually probably better to explain it to them first before they see you dressed the way you feel comfy, just less of a shock hazzard. Especially your 11 year old. If you came out in a dress he is liable to run screaming out of the room. Explain it to him then let him adjust to the reality of what you are saying. If need be, counselling may have to be an option as well. Good luck-it can work out,
        Kim 

Quote from: Kim on September 17, 2007, 07:44:04 PM
Hello Jessie,
   I am IS and my children are 7, 5 and 4 and are well adjusted to my real self (woman). I am happily married and my wife and I answered their questions without hiding the facts from them.  My children tell me they love me and still hug me as much as possible. Lately I noticed our 4 yr old crossing between the term daddy and the term mommy for me. We force nothing on them in terms of my title (mom or dad). We feel our children will actually be more well adjusted to the world for the simple fact that they see any struggles I ram into trying to be accepted and how it hurts when people turn against me so that when they meet someone who is 'different' someday somewhere they will remember and accept easier rather than follow the 'crowd'.  It is actually probably better to explain it to them first before they see you dressed the way you feel comfy, just less of a shock hazzard. Especially your 11 year old. If you came out in a dress he is liable to run screaming out of the room. Explain it to him then let him adjust to the reality of what you are saying. If need be, counselling may have to be an option as well. Good luck-it can work out,
        Kim 

hello Kim

Thanks for the reply!! I have already explained everything as best I can about me being TS to my 11yr. old he has known for a little over a year now we have talked a few times about it and he doesn't seem uncormfortable with it but I do think that the counseling is a very good idea. If my son does have issues with any of this he may not want to tell me how he feels because of being afraid of hurting me so that would at least give him a netural person to confide in!
Thank you so much!!

I transitioned 5 years ago when my children were 12, 8, and 5.  We're still together as a family, and they haven't suffered.  I talked to each of  them individually (even the 5yo) before starting.  Even the very young can understand and handle it.

QuoteIt is actually probably better to explain it to them first before they see you dressed the way you feel comfy, just less of a shock hazzard. Especially your 11 year old. If you came out in a dress he is liable to run screaming out of the room.

Maybe you could show him some pictures of you in your natural state (feminine outfit, makeup, etc.).

Doesn't it make you wish that there were a book for the young children of transsexuals? We have picture books about gay parents, divorced parents, etc. but no trans parents! I'm an illustrator -- anyone up for writing it?

Quote from: Andrew on September 17, 2007, 11:17:08 PM

QuoteIt is actually probably better to explain it to them first before they see you dressed the way you feel comfy, just less of a shock hazzard. Especially your 11 year old. If you came out in a dress he is liable to run screaming out of the room.

Maybe you could show him some pictures of you in your natural state (feminine outfit, makeup, etc.).

Doesn't it make you wish that there were a book for the young children of transsexuals? We have picture books about gay parents, divorced parents, etc. but no trans parents! I'm an illustrator -- anyone up for writing it?

The only real problem I can see with this idea is if the pictures are drawn well how would the children be able to tell the differance between a trans-woman and a gentic woman? you wouldn't want to show a masculine person in a dress because that is a stero-type we are trying to stay away from!

Quote from: Andrew on September 17, 2007, 11:17:08 PM
Doesn't it make you wish that there were a book for the young children of transsexuals? We have picture books about gay parents, divorced parents, etc. but no trans parents! I'm an illustrator -- anyone up for writing it?

Carly: She's Still My Daddy

FWIW, Jennifer Boylan's book, "She's Not There," touches on this subject. She transitioned while raising two children.

~Kate~

Quote from: Jessie_Heart on September 17, 2007, 07:32:02 PM
I am thinking of going full time as a female but I have children two boys ages 11yrs. old and 6yrs. old and one girl 4yrs. old and I am afraid of the possible negitive impact this could have on them. I am afraid that I would be putting my happiness ahead of thier wellbeing and i don't want to do that! but I also try to teach them to be honest and live thier lives in an honest way and I feel like a hypocrite telling them that and not doing it myself. I love my children and I am sure that they would come to terms with it very quickly but I am just not sure the right thing to do! any advice or insight would be very much appreciated! THANKS!!

I've never been married or had children but I have had two or three very long term girlfriends but wasn't ever able to produce enough testo to make children. I envy people who have children and it breaks my heart sometimes....

But it's a double edges sword and I imagine those who do have children and transition must find it difficult to deal with..

Quote from: Berliegh on September 19, 2007, 06:21:23 PM

I've never been married or had children but I have had two or three very long term girlfriends but wasn't ever able to produce enough testo to make children. I envy people who have children and it breaks my heart sometimes....

But it's a double edges sword and I imagine those who do have children and transition must find it difficult to deal with..

part of what scares me is i hear alot about discrimation of trans-women or trans-men and I am worried that if someone is close minded and calls cps because they think it is harming my children in some way will cps discrimate against me and try to take my children because I am transsexual?