I am kinda getting fed up, 10 year lesbian relationship. And all of a sudden hostile attitudes again.

My girlfriend is mtf, she moved in six months ago she has been on T blocker Testosterone blocker before. She has been fine other then when she first had it we had some problems.

I am so mad right now I actually HATE that injection. After six months of her not taking it because she is too scared to talk to the doctors on the phone and me being UN-AWARE she wasn't taking it. I finally got her an appointment, our sex life was just getting back to normal and I was finally getting affection. And yes I do give it to her, I spoil her on love and affection and I just get pushed away. Apparently its not me it's her.

Everything great no fights for months. Then she has her T blocker and oh my ****ing GOD. She is demanding I do all these things for her and when I forget or am too tired because you know- I work, Am trying to get us a new flat, trying to get my own medicine sorted out for me. Or spending time with friends she loses her **** like three days after she had the blocker she starts being completely unreasonable.

I am tired of telling her to take her medicine, I am tired of doing EVERYTHING in the relationship. I always find us somewhere to live, I always get the doctors sorted out and I wouldn't mind God I would not mind if I just got a THANK YOU. I didn't get that before and now I get had ago at because apparently T blocker makes her crazy. And you can tell me it's spose to make her calm and blah blah blah, but srsly this is the second time this has happened with this stupid injection. I'm not allowed to by food for myself either now apparently and you have no idea how mad that makes me.

Bye bye sex life. Bye bye reasonable girlfriend. I shouldn't have to deal with my gf losing her **** because I won't make her a sandwich I am not a house wife. If she wants me to be maybe she should I dunno actually marry me, instead of like moaning she doesn't want to get married till she's had surgery, bare in mind she won't loose weight to have the surgery on the NHS anyway. SRSLY all she needs to do is loose weight and she can go on the list. Sometimes I wonder if she even wants this at all. She assures me she does but then does nothing for herself.

Sorry way over due vent.   

T blocker kills erections and kills libido, end of story!

Sometime some need to put there big girl panties on and take responsibility for there own life.

I have seen it time and time again where girls or boys that have GD put the blame on those who love them and not make the changes to there lives. The poor me i get tired of hearing.

So many of us have pulled up our panties and forged ahead and started to take blame for why our lives are the way they are.

Everyone needs to take responsibility for there own actions and own up to them being right or wrong.

So me i would talk to her and tell her how you are feeling. Also lay out what you expect of her.

Not knowing but a lot of the time we become enablers because of love.

One can only give so much with out getting the same back in return.

Not always a answer but sometimes we must move on with our lives to be happy. Not saying it is where you should go but always keep your own health above hers.

Hugs
Wishing you the best. Not easy being TG or someone who cares for one. Hard on everyone.

She needs to take care of herself that's true. Blaming you and not trying to sort out out herself is just plain cruel.

I don't know what kind of T blocker she has and if she is on E (female hormones), but myself and other mtf I know here in the Netherlands normaly get Androcur and that often I hear stories how badly people react to it (depression, severe lack of energy and sleeping alot). A mtf where I'm good friends with went on just the T blocker and she spiraled in a major depression in just 2 weeks (again Androcur).

I'm not blaming any of you or saying that her behavior is acceptable, but GD (gender dysphoria) can be very hard on everone in the transgender's life and taking hormones or getting the surgery doesn't magically make your life perfect if it's crap before. Everyone need to work to make their life good and GD isn't an excuse.

Talk with her about everything. Say what's bothering you and listen to what's bothering her. Do your best to make it work, but of she has to change and take charge of her life.

Quote from: Shantel on August 03, 2014, 08:59:39 AM
T blocker kills erections and kills libido, end of story!

Really? I wish people around here would stop harping on this fallacy.. The fact is, it doesn't do it to everyone and I'd be willing to bet for some that claim it has, that it's mostly in their head..

Quote from: Shantel on August 03, 2014, 08:59:39 AM
T blocker kills erections and kills libido, end of story!

Hmm I wonder why the thing gets hard and I get all hot when I'm intimate with my boyfriend (and I'm just talking about making out with him and cuddling we aren't kids anymore). Trust me, I get excited and I'm 1000% sure there are others that get excited and get an erection.

Quote from: meganB on August 05, 2014, 02:55:54 AM
Hmm I wonder why the thing gets hard and I get all hot when I'm intimate with my boyfriend (and I'm just talking about making out with him and cuddling we aren't kids anymore). Trust me, I get excited and I'm 1000% sure there are others that get excited and get an erection.

I still get erections after 4 months HRT (T-blocker pills and E patches) but it's not as reliable and my libido is a fraction of what it was so yes its definately possible.

KawaiiKoneko, you're more than welcome to vent. I rarely post here because this is the SO's part and you should all have your space. Have you talked to other spouse about this aswell?

http://www.->-bleeped-<-.com/r/mypartneristrans/  is a pretty good place if you want more active interaction about issues

Quote from: meganB on August 05, 2014, 02:55:54 AM
Hmm I wonder why the thing gets hard and I get all hot when I'm intimate with my boyfriend

Hahaha you just sound like my girlfriend (she's mtf and i'm just a non-transgender guy).

My girl doesn't have that high of a libido, but when we are kissing and I caress her she certainly gets aroused. If she sits on me while she's aroused I do feel something hard that's normally not there (that was hard for me in the beginning, but not anymore). So I must say that at least for her her libido isn't gone and she still get erections. It still feels very weird to say and think that she still has a penis and gets erections (actually I can't imagine it).

Quote from: KawaiiKoneko on August 03, 2014, 07:02:07 AM
Everything great no fights for months. Then she has her T blocker and oh my ****ing GOD. She is demanding I do all these things for her and when I forget or am too tired because you know- I work, Am trying to get us a new flat, trying to get my own medicine sorted out for me. Or spending time with friends she loses her **** like three days after she had the blocker she starts being completely unreasonable.

I don't know if it's related, but my girl told me that if she feeling bad she takes 1 pill to stop the testosterone instead of the 2 pills she normally takes. I always notice it when she's taking 1 pill instead of 2. I don't quite know how to say it, it just like she's a bit different, more calmer when she only takes 1 pill a day.

To be honest, if she doesn't starts to treat you better, like you deserve, she isn't worth your time. She doesn't get a free pass to treat you like crap just because she's transgender. She needs to pull her weight around just like every other person needs to do.

Quote from: KawaiiKoneko on August 03, 2014, 07:02:07 AM
Sorry way over due vent.   

This is a place to talk about these things. And if you have it vent it's better to do it here than vent on her or your friends as we know how it feels and most of the time we can help you.

Quote from: kelly_aus on August 05, 2014, 02:30:38 AM
Really? I wish people around here would stop harping on this fallacy.. The fact is, it doesn't do it to everyone and I'd be willing to bet for some that claim it has, that it's mostly in their head..

It does for many if not most, you are no doubt an anomaly to the norm, but just because you don't experience the same thing others do does not invalidate other people's reality. I resent you're implications about my truthfulness and my mental state btw!

Quote from: kelly_aus on August 05, 2014, 02:30:38 AM
Really? I wish people around here would stop harping on this fallacy.. The fact is, it doesn't do it to everyone and I'd be willing to bet for some that claim it has, that it's mostly in their head..

I try to be as supportive as I can here with my personal responses to HRT, so I was a little offended as well. Blanket statements like these hurt those of us who are truthful in our reporting. To state a personal response is fine, to condemn others with different responses to HRT are not.

Quote from: kelly_aus on August 05, 2014, 02:30:38 AM
Really? I wish people around here would stop harping on this fallacy.. The fact is, it doesn't do it to everyone and I'd be willing to bet for some that claim it has, that it's mostly in their head..

It still happens in my case and I've been post-orchi for a few years. BUT it's probably a tenth of the intensity and frequency that it was in the past. It doesn't really bother me. When it happens I just go with it since I have to maintain the tissue anyway since I'm stuck with it until I croak. It doesn't really cause any dysphoria anymore. I just kind of drift off in my mind until it's finished. It's more of a "diagnostic" thing than anything else.

Quote from: Shantel on August 05, 2014, 01:27:51 PM
It does for many if not most, you are no doubt an anomaly to the norm, but just because you don't experience the same thing others do does not invalidate other people's reality. I resent you're implications about my truthfulness and my mental state btw!

From what I've read, that seems to be right Shan.  I'll let you know how it goes with me in a few months I guess...

Quote from: Shantel on August 05, 2014, 01:27:51 PM
It does for many if not most, you are no doubt an anomaly to the norm, but just because you don't experience the same thing others do does not invalidate other people's reality. I resent you're implications about my truthfulness and my mental state btw!

You want to know something Shantel? This is the only trans space where I regularly see people get told 'HRT will kill your libido and your ability to get an erection.' Seriously.. Neither my therapist or gyno make the claim - they do mention it as a possibility, not as something that will happen. There was no comment about anyone's mental state - merely a comment that perhaps the lack of libido and ED are somewhat of a placebo effect.

And I'm not an anomaly - there were several other posts in the thread from people.. I also know quite a few both out in the real world and from other online trans spaces.

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on August 05, 2014, 01:33:52 PM
I try to be as supportive as I can here with my personal responses to HRT, so I was a little offended as well. Blanket statements like these hurt those of us who are truthful in our reporting. To state a personal response is fine, to condemn others with different responses to HRT are not.

Great, be offended. Be offended as I am, every time someone trots out the blanket statement of 'HRT will kill your libido and your ability to get an erection.'

I've tried suggesting in the past that this statement is not 100% accurate, but get shouted down and told that I know nothing - I guess actually having studied endo means nothing. Also, it seems that the opinions and experience of my medical team is also dismissed - seemingly because it doesn't agree with the 'group think'..

I'm not going to waste my life's energy arguing the pro's and con's of anything here because everyone is different and each is affected differently by hormones and by anti-androgens and that is an indisputable fact. Many lose their male powers due to the effects of anti-androgens and some do using estrogen alone over a period of time and that's indisputable also. If people want to argue and bicker over some small point then you're dealing with the wrong person because I refuse to go there and be drawn into any drama.

Quote from: Shantel on August 05, 2014, 07:48:36 PM
I'm not going to waste my life's energy arguing the pro's and con's of anything here because everyone is different and each is affected differently by hormones and by anti-androgens and that is an indisputable fact. Many lose their male powers due to the effects of anti-androgens and some do using estrogen alone over a period of time and that's indisputable also. If people want to argue and bicker over some small point then you're dealing with the wrong person because I refuse to go there and be drawn into any drama.

You made a blanket statement, all I've done is refute it. I've never said that HRT doesn't effect the libido of some/many, simply made the case that it is not that way for all - as a direct response to your blanket statement.

Male powers? lmao Nice try.

Enough is enough.

Topic locked.