I understand the OP, but at the same time, I find some of her list 'odd'. Not wrong, just odd.
Oh I wish I could arrive home at the end of a long walk and look forward to taking off my bra. But I don't have breasts as of this moment. I sure hope I have a need of a bra, but, I don't currently. I think I will in time arrive at a need for an artificial enhancement solution, but, that won't be to feel feminine, it will be to make the outfit look better. Because nothing wrecks most female upper body items of attire like have less than nothing in a bra inside the item. It's ok to be 'flat' but, even a flat female has breasts. I have less than no breasts currently.
Pads? Pads are a curse, ask any poor cis female that bleeds into them monthly for several days. I am likely to feel no small amount of joy for not having that curse. I mean sure, I'd like to need to carry condoms so I could avoid getting pregnant if by some chance I caught the eye of a male and fate had me end up having sex and being in a position to get fertilized and all of that. But the thing is, none of that will ever be part of my life, nor will any of the other part of menstruation.
I would expect a cis female to think I was right friggin insane to wear pads. And considering I have suffered from hemorrhoids and I actually DO know what it is like to experience bleeding and discomfort of a sort. And I have had an operation on my backside that forced me to actually need a form of pad for 6 months, and that was 6 months entirely too. Nope, there will be no pads welcome in my life 'just for the notional idea they are a part of feminine existence'.
I actually know more males that like shopping than I do females.
And most of the cis females I know (my wife included) SUUUUUUUCK at housework

I snuck back to the wargame forum, and the last portion of that wretched thread reveals pretty much that older male gamers likely think the average female gamer is dumber than them when it comes to complicated games of strategy. But nope, I have no plans to act stupid to feel more in line with how they think it will make me appear more feminine that's for sure.
I have more in common with Catherine the Great, or Joan dArc or Elizabeth the 1st or any of countless great women leader of the past, than I do with any of the runway models out there or the women in media that so many expect us to look like. Sure I wish I could be back in the 50s and seem more like June Cleaver (even if I had to do it in a period of time not nearly as receptive as today). My mind is from the 40s-50s even if my body wasn't here before the 60s.
To feel feminine, I need to look like my mental image of a woman. For me, that means a dress, maybe a skirt, and jeans only when I am working in the garden. You can say what you like about right of choice, but that is it for me. I dislike pants on females. Rosie the riveter was only asked to don the coveralls, because they ran out of men to make the machines in the factories eh. The boys were all busy out on the battlefields. My mom has told me of the shorts she wore as a young woman. My mom was quite the looker when she was young too

Likely as much a problem for her dad, as my sister's too girls. You are NOT going out wearing that young lady

I will never have the proper shape for Victoria's Secret. I feel it sucks I can't walk into a lingerie store, as they only sell articles for barely well fed looking 16 year olds. Thongs? hell no, they look massively uncomfortable.
I AM a woman though. I just try and look decent, while trying to look nice.
The effort, would be trying to look manly. I have realized, I might look like your husband, but, I have no idea how to feel like one.