I agree with both comments; it seems that those who knew us longest have the most problem not seeing the old person.

Quote from: genopunk on September 18, 2007, 08:05:37 PM
I have found that friends and family will have the hardest time seeing your new self because they already have a previous image of you in their heads.
(BTW Valerie ... you should be aware that you are using a very derogatory term.  I work with adults with developmental disabilities who would take great offense to that term.  We really consider it a slur. Please consider this next time you post.)

On the second part; I am sure there probably was not intent to be derogatory (though it tis). As a disenfranchised group we should be aware of how we refer to others.

Hi Genopunk,

If ur gonna get all politically correct with me, and give me grief, the least that u could do is answer my question; U know, the whole two wrongs don't make a right. BTW, does this mean that Im not allowed to refer to myself as queer? Does this also mean that all those African American rappers need to stop calling each other the "n" word? Is this the reason why that show is called the "L" Word? Sorry, but I've never been a fan of being politically correct, all it does is get people to hate each other behind their backs rather than to their faces. It also prevents people from engaging in intelligent dialogue about things that they do not understand. I do NOT consider "developmentally challenged" people to b retards... but I DO consider MYSELF to be a computer retard. Deal with it. I have.


Valerie x

If you'll note, genopunk doesn't have her picture posted either, so she might not know the answer. And she pointed out quite nicely that the word is a slur. If you don't belong to a group, you can't be part of reclaiming language for them. It's not political correctness, it's courtesy, and we expect it on this board.

And the answer is you need 15 posts before you can post your picture.

Dennis

Hi Dennis,

Thanks for answering my question.

My use of the "offending" word was not intended as a slur in any respect. I'm quite aware of when I'm using a slur to insult a person or a group of persons. I belong to enuff marginalized groups of my own. As far as needing to "belong" to a certain group in order to reclaim a word or term... I DON'T agree with that AT ALL. I have no use for anyone who uses the "n" word... and this includes above all... people of African origin. Too many people have suffered for the use of this word for there to be any justification for its use.

On the other hand (and in my opinion)... certain words need to be redefined already. Terms such as "social retard" are NOT meant as disrepect to the developmentally challenged. When people refer to something as being "gay", I don't freak out. However, your point is valid in that what is ok for me might not be acceptable (or even offensive) to others. Since I am not close friends with anyone on this forum yet, I will make sure to refrain from the use of any language that some might find offensive. I apologize to those that were offended.

Hopefully... we can now get back to the actually topic and spend more time discussing what I said, rather than how I said it.

Valerie x

Quote from: Steph on September 05, 2007, 06:09:41 AM
One of the issues that our families have is that their expectations have been dashed somewhat.  Right from birth our parents and relatives have plans or are already planning our future(s).  They start college funds, tell their friends about how their son or daughter "The doctor", the "Fire fighter", will be following in their footsteps carrying on family traditions etc. you get the idea.

We're nurtured and moulded as our family sees how we will turn out, and then wham!  They find out we are not as they had raised us, their hope and dreams can be dashed, they sometimes see that they have some how failed, they even sometimes think "What will the neighbors think".

They don't understand that it's not their fault.  They can think that they have wasted all that time and effort, they can't admit we are other than what they brought up.  Family often have much time and effort invested in us, whereas our friends, acquaintances, and strangers have not, so it really is of no consequence to them who or what we are.

Just my thoughts.

Steph

I know its not their fault...And that they invest only THEIR time in raising me and shaping me. I appreciate the effort...

But...

I freaking hate stuff like that! I cringe in my head whenever my parents introduce me to strangers and tell them my full name and everything. Like...I stay inside all the time, and barely interact with my town (which is dumb and football EFF YEA facism incarnate. It was the original place chosen for the Stepford Wives.)
And then I'll travel out with my parents...And they'll introduce me as some great cartoonist or something, when I still think I suck, and most of my work is questionable if anything. So NOW the stranger has an expectation, and my damn brain still cares about them for some reason...So I cringe even more when I'm forced to give out my website that just started out. So now...a thing with potential for UTTER freedom of creation is gonna have old fogies trolling it on their AOL trying to view content on their dial up. It loads slow-mo and to their horror they might see what I actually make and think I'm sort of sicko...Well...I KINDA AM! THATS WHY I DO ART! So I'm thinking I'm just not gonna censor anything I think of, but I'm gonna have quite a time explaining it to my Conservative Vet Grandpa who can't tell the difference in characters cause its Animeish, and has written his children rite of passage letters which accuse them of being a "->-bleeped-<-got". Not to mention the fact he'll live forever, and we JUST started being on good terms...And he's got money that can help out Art  School MAYBE. So if he found out what I really wanted to be, hell no would I get support from him.

So I think I'm gonna alienate the hell out of these people...And I never wanted to really give a crap, but I might. CWAP.

As for my friends...I almost wish I did this forever ago so I could start them anew, but If I were a full time girl at that time...I doubt the relationships would've progressed so far, cause I act like an older brother to a lot of these guys, and its a rarity that they confide their deepest thoughts in a girl. It may sound reverse shallow, but no matter what, getting close to a girl and confiding could get dangerously close to further than friends. So I'm happy they see me as a "Smart and Nerdy...And Weird, but nonetheless Doood, Dude"

I pretty much was more dudish and typical in school. So one of my best friends probably notices a change in me anyway...Even if its just "Maturing".

*breathes.....*