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Name changes when kids are involved

Started by wolfduality, August 09, 2014, 09:06:46 PM

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wolfduality

I have two kids. I birthed them and my female name is on their respective birth certificates. I'm starting the slow process of getting my own name legally changed and as soon as that's done, getting the respective documents changed in order of importance. I know the "big" stuff is things like my driver's license, my own birth certificate, my SS card, and so on. However, is there a huge risk to being slower to get my kids' birth certificates changed? My oldest isn't enrolled in school yet but I hoped to take care of most of this stuff before then (2-3 years). At this time, I'm only doing a name change as my state has stricter requirements for gender marker changes.

Lawyer is in the works though I'm having a hard time finding someone to even talk to me.

ETA: I'm from Oklahoma.
Yours truly,

Tobias.
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tgchar21

I'm not sure what the rule would be on a parent's legal name change AFTER the child was born, but I do know from some research I did a little over a year ago (when I was debating another member's claim of what he thought) that name changes (for non-marriage-related reasons, more on that below) done BEFORE the birth of said child do change how the name should be reflected on the child's BC (in most states).

The typical protocol is that name changes arising from a marriage (or other domestic partnership) should NOT be reflected with how the parent's name is entered (this is done because the name may change again later on due to divorce or remarriage, and if married names were entered both parents would usually have the same one and using the "maiden" name provides more identifying information). The rules are different if the name was changed for another reason (including gender changes) - here they usually DO want you to use the name after the legal change (a few states, including Oregon, want you to use the changed name only if it amended the birth certificate - contrary to what the aforementioned member thought it doesn't matter whether the old name is visible or not*, but just that the change was reflected on the parent's BC). *Removing the old name, if done, is for our personal benefit and does not affect the "validity" of the change for this purpose. The instructions can be a bit ambiguous for those with atypical name changes, and if you have any doubts you can ask someone at the vital records department (do not ask hospital staff as sometimes they aren't aware of the rules in special cases, as I rebuffed to the member I mentioned). If they ask for your "birth name" in this context that usually means the name as shown on your BC (accounting for any changes) and not necessarily the one given at your birth (which is the context usually used on these forums), although sometimes names changed for a reason that qualify for a BC amendment in that state (whether or not yours was actually changed) count as well (e.g. Wisconsin's policy). "Maiden name" means what your name would be without any marriages (so any changes to your first name would be accounted for). I noticed the majority of states phrase the question as something like "name prior to first marriage" or something similar - if you later changed your name for a non-marriage-related reason you probably ought to ask like I mentioned above about your case, but usually if you changed your first name that would be accounted for (I know a cisgender woman who changed her first name for personal preference and had to get this clarification).
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wolfduality

Thank you for the reply but I have a few more questions you might be able to answer.

I understand that, most of the time, name changes are amended on a person's birth certificate due to a clerical error or to add/remove a father. However, I've heard conflicting things from my state's vital records about the "what ifs" when we got down to the actual act of altering the kids' birth certificates. I have no intentions of changing my last name at this time, both the married or the "maiden" name, so the alteration is only to the first and middle. I would think that would make this less contrived and far less obnoxious as then I would have to change the kids' last names and whatnot. So, if I'm understanding correctly, I would still have to use my old name when it called for it? I know my birth state actually makes a new birth certificate when an alteration is made so unless I had a copy of the old one, it would be like I was two different people with little verifiable documentation that they are one in the same.

I'm really trying to wrap my head around all this, which I know a lawyer would really help with. I just don't want there to be a situation arise with my kids and suddenly I'm having to fight tooth and nail to prove they are mine. Or similar.
Yours truly,

Tobias.
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tgchar21

Similar to what I said, your best bet is to contact vital statistics of the state the children were born in, tell them you plan on legally changing your first/middle names (you don't need to give the reason, just say that you're going to be changing them) and ask what their policy is on amending the BC of an already-born child.
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ainsley

Just an FYI, I live in Missouri and obtained a court order for the dept. of vital records to amend my children's birth certificates with my new legal female name as the father, replacing my male name.  I took the order to the vital records office and they made the change within 30 minutes.

2ez

My other son was born in Washington State, so I am working on that one now.  Will update when I get info on that.
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