This isn't a "what gender are you in your dreams?" question... it's more like do you have dreams (nightmares) about trying to pass? Or dreaming that you know you are failing spectacularly to pass and no one is aware but you're petrified you'll be found out? Or passing really well and yet no one even recognises you as your identified gender?

I seem to vaguely recall all versions of these scenarios. The most nerve wracking was being on a bus in a dress but without Hillary (my wig!! yes, that's her official name) and really worried someone would point me out. I got off the bus as fast as I could but then realised I had gotten off too soon and was nowhere near to where I wanted to be... it was before I had gone full time and was really unnerving.

I still dream that I'm him in situations.

After spending a weekend with two incredible trans psychotherapists I have easily seen why.

When you go into Gestalt theory of image it doesn't make anything easier but you can see a way through.

Well I did, but it was intense.

I have always thought psycho-therapy was largely rubbish, especially for me. Ye I had problems from gang-rape, abuse, prostitution etc. But I'm incredibly strong (not boasting), I carry the baggage we all have.

But 48 hours living with two psychotherapists who love you as a human being and care is one of the most enhancing experiences you can have.

You can deal with the dreams, the screams. Seeing you as the past not the future can be dealt with.

We just need to accept sometimes some of us do need help.
That is the hard bit to deal with.

I've had all sorts of messed up dreams, from de-pantsing and gaff fail to my voice being low like it was before VFS. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to it, but it still does happen even being FT for about a year and a half

I have a combination of dreams, sometimes I'm one gender or the other, other times I'm both and in some I'm neither

Sometimes I wake up feeling pretty tripped out about it, but either way, male or female I am still me, I just happen to self identify as female

Yes, I get those occasionally (once every six months or so) and they leave me quite unsettled. I had one last week in which everyone around me perceived me as female again and I felt forced to play along with them. That was the most difficult part of the dream for me: feeling that I had no choice but to force myself into a female role to satisfy other people so that I could keep the peace.

Of course, this is only natural, considering I spent almost four decades of my life doing precisely that. You can't live your life that way for so many years and not expect it to crop up occasionally. So I acknowledged my dream, cut myself some slack for reliving a past trauma, and moved on. It took me two days to get over the emotional turmoil.

As long as this is something that only happens occasionally, I don't think it's a problem. I think it's just being human.

I equate this with taking an exam naked in a dream (well, I think hope it was a dream).  I think it's about feeling most vulnerable, and what one worries about.  I have had a few dreams in which someone is "telling me like it is" and pointing out all lingering "male" characteristics, ones I can't change. I get that after a day of self doubt when those characteristics come up (rightly or wrongly.) I don't have "fail" dreams, so I expect for me it's about what I feel insecure about.


I am not aware of dreaming that I am living a deceit anymore, that I'm having to put up a front, which I did when I started full time. I think that fades as full time morphs to "reality".  I no longer dream as "him" that I am aware of.

You had another thread about "looks" and how to interpret them. That sets it off for me I think and it gets neatly filed in the obsessive archive which is my brain, ready to be pulled out and thrown in my face at any time. 

I had a strange dream where I was a female, and everyone around me was like I had just married or.... maybe I had just graduated from college, or maybe I had just transitioned, the details of the dream are all hazy. So, I was passing big time .

In my dreams, I'm a faceless, featureless 'entity', since everything is in first person, I have never seen my own face in a dream,

I've had naked dreams where I both worried about not passing and that I'd get in trouble for indecent exposure.

Quote from: Edge on August 10, 2014, 02:20:48 PM
I've had naked dreams where I both worried about not passing and that I'd get in trouble for indecent exposure.

When I was 12-13, I had dreams like that, but in those dreams, I had breasts, I was hiding them under my shirt, hoping bullies won't notice it in the locker room. Strangely, I never had dreams that had anything to do with the lower part of my body.

Immediately after going full-time, I had this awful streak of like 4 nightmares in a row where I was being clocked in the women's room.

It was pretty much the same dream every time... for some reason the stall walls were low or not there, and a woman came in and saw me, and told me I didn't belong there, and I had to defend myself. (And hide certain anatomical features.)

I had another dream where I was coming out of the water (and I have a bit of an issue with feeling clocky when I'm wet because it deflates my receded hair and makes it a bit more obvious,) and people were staring at me and I was afraid of passing.

Then the worst of all was a dream I had just recently (warning: rape/abuse triggers,) where I was in a movie theater of some sort. A guy started aggressively hitting on me, to the point of touching and serious harassment. I had to run to escape. And I was wearing a slinky red dress which, as I was desperately trying to crawl under a door to get out of the movie theater and away from him, exposed my genitals, and I was freaking out that I was going to get raped or murdered because they were hanging out where people could see them.

(Urgh... I have so many genital-based nightmares it's ridiculous. -___-)


So yeah... really common, and one of my most persistent nightmares recently.

I've had all sorts of dreams from being a beautiful woman to being afraid to be seen with female clothes on and trying to take the clothes off in a hurry so not to be seen. I have a lot of naked ones that are genderless , it's just me trying to cover myself up. I don't particularly care for the naked dreams much.

I do not remember most of my dreams and they give me the weirdest sense of deja vu ever but that is a whole other can of worms. out of the dreams i do remember I am always presented as female and always terrified that isn't how people see me. I have yet to start transitioning and I'm horrified to talk to some one about things out of fear my dreams and nightmare wont stay that way. this may also have something to do with me only getting 2-3 hours of sleep a night.

One of the things I love about Susan's is it helps me realise I'm not the only one experiencing something! Thanks for sharing everyone!