Now that I am stable...
I am amuzed by the classification of me as NB by non binaries, and Binary mtf by binaries. Universally. LOL.
I have no diagnosis except that I am a Satinjoy. And need hormones.
Here is the thing, and this is directed gently and lovingly to my binary friends.
--My shrink has diagnosed me as not a classic transsexual. Its on my hormone letter.
-- I am on a huge estrogen dose and am female mtf noop, in fact, physically.
--My shrink will not sign off on surgeries, it is AMA.
-- the consequence of going full time:
Loss of wife and one daughter.
Loss of acting career.
Not being true to my core, which does not feel socially female. It feels third gender.
and on and on but no matter.
Yes I live with a measure of dysphoric pain. No doubt. I have to choose the lesser of two pains.
So I live genderqueer.
Last night, my wife got curious, and lifted up the nightshirt. She took a long look, and a close one, at the leftovers of transition without surgery. As usual I was in something yummy underneath.
The point is, she was able to do it, smile, hug me and go back to bed.
Does anyone have any idea how priceless that is with a woman that is straight?
Love to all here. I risk a lot being so open, but it is to help other trans. For me, these sacrifices are worth it, and as long as I am trans on the inside out I am ok. But the clothes fly off and the transition completes any time I have a chance. Its just the way it is.
Blessings
