So, I just had my first therapy session

It went pretty well. The doctor was very nice and informative and seemed very knowledgeable about trans issues.

I feel a bit overwhelmed. As I was in therapy it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks: Wow...this is real...this is really happening....It was almost surreal like I was dreaming it and not really there.

It was really scary for a while after, like looking at a pool of icy water knowing you are about to jump in knowing that you can't really go back. It was scary like something I've hoped and wished for for so long suddenly in front of my face in real reality.

It was more terrifying than reliving actually

Like: Yeah, I'm about to jump down the hole into wonderland and if I dive in I'm going to have to stay there for quite a while and maybe forever.

That if I go down this path that it will be the hardest thing I've yet to face (and I've faced a lot of stuff) and everything I know everything I am will change and that I can never 'just go back' or give up

Like standing on the edge of a dark forest on the forked road on one path it leads to sameland and nicetown one path goes into the forest and If I go there I can never go back.

I feel like a book character honestly. and I don't know if I have what it takes.

Congratulations on your first therapy session. Though I'm not in therapy right now I can still relate to your story. Do you take the red pill or the blue pill? Neo took the red pill and if he didn't we wouldn't have had a movie but in reality the choice is yours. If you continue down this path you will reach a point where going back will be very difficult. Things will change and your view of the world will too as well as how people view you.

On the other hand (to sound morbid for a moment) we will all die one day. As you lay there on your deathbed would you rather think "I wonder what my life would have been like if I had chosen to transition?" or "I'm sure glad I did!" You can do this. If you feel for any reason that you do not want to transition then don't but if the only reason you can find not to transition is fear then please don't let that fear stop you. 

Just take your time and work with your therapist.

There is not expire time on transition.

Take as long as you need to figure it out.

Transition is not always the answer, same as HRT, RLT or even GCS.

We all need to find that place we are happy, if its all the above then so be it, if it is just 2 then that's great.

It is happiness you are looking for, comfort in your body.

So work with your therapist and each time things will start to make some scene in your life.

Congratulations in taking the first step. I think starting was the hardest thing, followed by coming out to 12 or so then HRT.

I have been where you are.

So, therapy has been fantastic,
my wife accepts that I am trans* and on HRT,
HRT is not as big a deal as I thought. I guess I put a lot into it that was no there.

Sit back and enjoy the ride.