Yesterday marks 5-months in for me and I was browsing some of my early n00b posts. LoL. Wut a n00b. Anyway I noticed I had a lot of fears and confusion (like duh) and was testing waters before going full tilt.

My three major early transitioning fears, uncertainties, confusion -vs- now...

Then: I thought being on the pill form of E was bad ass enough. That I was good to go. Life is made!
Now: I've turned into an injections only snob.

Then: I feared I wouldn't be comfortable with breast development being content to achieve flat chested androgyny.
Now: I need them, forget androgyny, they will help complete my *female* presentation.

Then: I didn't think I would lose friends.
Now: I lost my best friend, she doesn't agree. I wondered if it's her personal acceptance issue or her Buddhism. She doesn't believe the body our parents give to you should ever be manipulated.

Runners up

Then: I didn't think my face would become cute and cheeky. That I would pass.
Now: Cute and cheeky. Pass!

Then: I never considered that I would eventually have to start using women's restrooms. |  |  |  |  |
Now: Ask me again later! Next!

How about you gals? As works in progress, what has evolved in your transition fears, uncertainty, destinations?

Okay so.. Uhm

Social Relationships
Fear A: Losing all friends
Fear B: Losing family

Hope: gaining supportive friends

Physical
Fear A: not feminizing to a passable degree, no boobies since my female relatives have small ones
Fea B: my face getting too fat, or being too thin

Hope: Fat butt lol

Emotional
Fear: getting more depressed and having more mood swings than I already have

Hope: actually becoming more lively and enjoying life, I'm way too passive

Then: Too tall, everyone will pick me straight away. Stares will be frequent and accusatory.
Now: Pretty much no one even looks at me.

Then: Wearing a wig will just be the worst thing ever.
Now: Couldn't pass without it and it's become intrinsic to my sense of self and confidence and (dare I say??) beauty.

Then: Disowned by my parents.
Now: Mother accepting, father in denial - not disowned.

Then: Like first attempt at transition it will be an emotional disastrous train wreck.
Now: Well and truly still on track. Happy, confident, love living as a woman.

Then: Voice = Clock Bait
Now: Apparently not. No one blinks when I use it.

Then: I'll never pass. I look too much like a dude and at my age I don't have much hope of the hormones doing much.
Now:  Hormones did their thing. I seem to blend in pretty easily.

Then: Going out en femme in public is terrifying.
Now: Going out en femme in public is perfectly normal.

Then: Using the ladies room? Forget about it, I'll just hold it.
Now: I gotta pee. Where is the nearest ladies room?

Then: This is going to wreck my marriage.
Now: My divorce was final this week.

Then: My voice will out me.
Now: Everyone keeps telling me my voice is neither particularly male nor particularly female. It seems to work just fine for either presentation.

Most of my fears never came to pass.

Then: I could never transition. It could never happen

Now: Fully transitioned and awaiting my surgical appointment.

Then: I thought I was just going to be resigned to being ugly and single forever.
Now: I am starting to not be ugly, still single hopefully someday I will fix that!

Then: I thought going out en femme would be scary and people would like yell at me and stuff.
Now: Either I pass or no one cares at all.

Then: Worried about losing sensation if I had to have BA
Now: Already a C cup, so even if HRT stopped increasing their size tomorrow I could live with my breasts as is.

Quote from: Hikari on August 15, 2014, 08:57:56 AM

Then: Worried about losing sensation if I had to have BA
Now: Already a C cup, so even if HRT stopped increasing their size tomorrow I could live with my breasts as is.

Now: I'm developing very slowly. Still a stage III tanner after 5 months. My mother was a B cup.

then:  not a clue:

          now:   happy as mouse in a cheese factory

I think the big ones were A) losing my wife, friends and family, B) never passing and C) making my life even worse than it was before.

Nope, nope and nope.

Then: Losing my wife, my kids turning against me.
Now: She wants a divorce when she finishes going back to school. My kids no longer speak to me, except my daughter.

Then: Not passing.
Now: I pass fine.

Then: Voice outing me.
Now: My voice seems to be ok, especially for an older woman.

Then: My height would make me a target.
Now: No one seems to really notice me.

Then: Breast development would be minimal.
Now: So far still just an A cup but finally starting to fill in a bit better.

  Being accepted  Have lived in the same area since 1974, screw it this is for me
       Basically 100% acceptance ---fell over happy
  Started at 63 will never pass,  kind of or people just show respect and courtesy to a 6'6" wana be woman
     Many places greeted with smiles and hugs    Told I look like my mother  big smile 
  HRT might not work started Dec 25 2013---dropped 1300 points off T in 6 months now in 50s and e in   100s and girls 36D
      who sez HRT don't work on old farts 
   Life is good went full time July 22 2013 still smiling .