Okay so all my life I've been a tomboy. I've always felt uncomfortable doing girly things. I always felt like there was something wrong with me. I'm in highschool now. I know now that there is nothing wrong with me. But I'm being brought up in a very homophobic and transphobic home. I don't think I would be safe if I came out. I am forced to dress and act(as much as I can  ) like a girl. I really don't like it. I have came out to a few friends, but only a few are supportive. I don't even want to say what the unsupportive ones said to me. My brother knows I'm pretty masculine for a girl and he calls me a ->-bleeped-<- sometimes.  I wont tell any more people unless I know that they are nice to queers. Also, I really hate my name. Its so girly. Its really hard to say when I need to introduce myself to someone. I choke on the word as if I'm a little kid who is telling their mother a bad word that they heard someone say. My own name is harder for me to say than the worst swear words(I don't usually curse). I can say the name when I'm talking about someone else, but when its me, I cant say it. Anyway...sorry about the long backstory. This is my first post on Susan's. I made this account because I am desperate for information. Now I will actually ask questions. How much money is it to go on T? is it expensive? Also, could I get a metoidioplasty and a urethral lengthening, but still keep my vagina? I don't have too much bottom dysphoria. I just want a little penis that I could pee from. And is it possible for me to get top surgery with minimal scarring? As much as I want a flat chest, I think if I had huge scars, it would make my dysphoria worse. My breasts are a C cup. If I lose weight(im kinda chubby) I could get to a small B cup. I want to start transitioning as young as possible. I will go to law school when im 18 and I will probably start transitioning after I graduate.

A big warm welcome to the family! First I have to say slooooow down just a little. The first step a lot of us took was with a therapist who preferably has gender issue experience. They can help out quite a bit in directing a successful transition and all it entails. I would not be so successful myself and I was a career Paramedic with great knowledge of the human body. I found many areas of concern I had not addressed as was glad I held of on HRT for a while. If you really want it thought there are places where you can do informed consent, but I think you would find value in therapy. You will find more than enough information here to be successful though either way. You have access to many people at all stages of transition here so use it as often as you need to. 

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Hi, WolfPony, and welcome to Susan's.  I will answer your questions from my own perspective.

Quote from: WolfPony on August 16, 2014, 03:18:14 PMHow much money is it to go on T? is it expensive?

This depends on a number of factors - where in the world you live, if you have insurance that covers your T, what kind of T you decide on, etc.  But, it *can be* expensive for some guys.

Quote from: WolfPony on August 16, 2014, 03:18:14 PMAlso, could I get a metoidioplasty and a urethral lengthening, but still keep my vagina?

You can get a metoidioplasty with the vagina retained, but I don't know about the urethral lengthening.  It wouldn't look like a "normal" vagina with urethral lengthening I would imagine as part of your plumbing is re-routed and covered with skin.  You would need to speak with a specialist surgeon about this.

Quote from: WolfPony on August 16, 2014, 03:18:14 PMI don't have too much bottom dysphoria. I just want a little penis that I could pee from.

Even just a little penis that you could pee from may not be attainable.  The surgeries are costly, and there is a high chance of complication with urethral lengthening - but it's do-able.  Many guys have had it done, so just making you aware of the risks.

Quote from: WolfPony on August 16, 2014, 03:18:14 PMAnd is it possible for me to get top surgery with minimal scarring? As much as I want a flat chest, I think if I had huge scars, it would make my dysphoria worse. My breasts are a C cup. If I lose weight(im kinda chubby) I could get to a small B cup. I want to start transitioning as young as possible. I will go to law school when im 18 and I will probably start transitioning after I graduate.

I doubt with a C-cup you'd be eligible for peri.  Double-incision is pretty much the standard for that size - but I also don't know, because I've never seen you. 

The first step will be seeing a gender therapist - especially seeing as you're under 18. 

Even if you get double incision the scars will eventually fade. You can get a tattoo to cover them up. Scars are better than what is currently there so take it as a trade off.

I'd definitely agree with the "see a therapist first" sentiment. Therapists who specialize in gender issues are often very well-versed and can help you organize your thoughts and plans.

In many places, testosterone is affordable. I know people who have paid for it while going to school and only working part time. But cost is relative, especially for young people who often do not have a steady job.

It is important to stay as mentally (and to some extent physically) healthy as possible while going through the early (decision-making/planning) stages of transition. This is one reason why it's good to have a good therapist backing you up.

It is also fine if plans change. From what you want for lunch to what college you go to, to how you experience and express your gender.

Keep learning, keep talking, and keep asking questions.