you're welcome here, voyager!
knowing what exactly you are, isn't really all that important. agender is a recognized gender identity, if that is what you find out that you are. otherwise, every gender identity is a valid identity here, even if it's one that only pertains to you.
i'm a "taka" gender by the way. it means that i share a whole lot of experiences with a whole lot of people here, but in the end, my exact gender identity is one that i still haven't managed to find in any other member of these forums. would be so much easier if i were just "girl" or "boy", but neither fits well enough to just jump into one of those two largest gender boxes out there.
i don't think being incest can completely erase someone's sense of gender, unless this sense of gender already was rather faint, and maybe just some identity you painted on yourself in order to look more like most other people around you. my own theory is that some of the things that i happened to me when i was younger, i let happen to me because i was too insecure, and didn't really know how to be the gender that everybody else told me i was. i even did things myself that changed my life in ways that i might not have wanted at all if i had just dared to stare deeper into this chaotic core of my being a little earlier.
but what happened, happened because that's what i thought was the best decision at the time. i wouldn't make the same decisions again, but that's only after all those things have already become part of shaping me into the person that i am now. and that's not all bad, i kind of like the person i am right now. most of the time at least, i still have a few issues to sort out before i can start feeling really happy about my own life and personality quirks.